Being Socially Connected

Perusing the internet one evening for a dose of inspiration, I came across a blog post focused on networking and relationships. The title grabbed my attention and the information offered was powerful. The inspiration was timely as I was in the midst of helping an American friend find a job in his new location - Brussels, Belgium. Some individuals were not being as open or helpful as I had expected which disappointed me.

I believe that one should help people as much as they can because when you do, good things usually come back to you. I have helped numerous individuals better their life and that goodwill has benefited me immensely especially when I needed assistance. The meaningful relationships I have developed over the years are a direct result of my relentless networking and connecting people. And I haven't always been helped in return and that is okay as it was and always will be my pleasure to improve a life.

When my childhood friend sent his email out asking for connections, I immediately put his request into action with everyone I knew who had a connection to Brussels. The strong networkers received my email and not long after came back with insight or people who could help. I was surprised that some people just came up with excuses not to help as they probably thought it would take up too much time.

Here's an email from a Swedish woman who actually knows my friend:

Regarding your friend I am afraid there is not very much I can do since all people I know in Brussels are working within EU. But if I would get in contact with anyone else or get to hear about anything - I will definitely think of him!

Gswede's email response was swift:

Regarding my friend, it is just a matter of connecting him with people who are connected in Brussels or know people who are connected in Brussels. Good chance to practice your networking skills not unlike how we connected you and your ex boyfriend. :)

The picture of helping became clear to her after our exchange and she offered to meet with my friend on her next visit to Brussels in September. To be fair, it's not the norm to network and help each other in Sweden so a gentle yet firm push is often necessary.

Below is an sms response (received in minutes) from a master networker who I have learned from. He is also Swedish yet atypical in many ways. I asked for his help with two USA friends who are visiting Stockholm in a few weeks and his kindness never ceases to amaze me!

G, connect me and your friends via email - and I'll arrange according to their wishes.

For those who have been uncomfortable with networking, I encourage you to do three things that should help:

1) Read my article on Networking - The link is http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/03/networking-effectively.html.

2) Read the aforementioned article which is below in its entirety. The author's (Keith Ferrazzi) blog can be found at http://www.keithferrazzi.com/blog/.

3) Reach outside of your comfort zone and help someone. You may be surprised at the benefits that arise from an an act of kindness. It may take some time occasionally but often a few emails will suffice.

For those who are good or strong networkers, you will find some powerful insight in Keith's blog post. A simple way we can all lend a helping hand is to pass the advice below to those who need it or would find it beneficial or interesting.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
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How to Win Friends and Influence People by Practicing Social Arbitrage
(Keith Ferrazzi)

Real power comes from being indispensable. Indispensability comes from being a switchboard, parceling out as much information, contacts, and goodwill to as many people -- in as many different worlds -- as possible.

Engaging in this constant and open exchange of favors and intelligence is what I call social arbitrage. Think of well-executed social arbitrage as a sort of career karma. How much you give to the people you come into contact with determines how much you'll receive in return. In other words, if you want to make friends and get things done, you have to put yourself out to do things for other people -- things that require time, energy, and consideration.

Here's a few rules to become a master:

1) Think of social arbitrage as a game. When someone mentions a problem, try to think of solutions. The solutions come from my experience and knowledge, and my tool kit of friends and associates. Think: How can my network help? It's a sort of ongoing puzzle, matching up the right people and the right opportunities.

2) Just do it. Don't wait to be asked. People aren't used to looking for others for help, beyond a small circle, and usually either won't think of it or will be too polite to ask.

3) Don't limit yourself to one clique. Make a point of knowing as many people from as many different professions and social groups as possible. The ability to bridge different worlds, and even different people within the same profession, is a key attribute in managers who are paid better and promoted faster.

4) Become a knowledge broker. Knowledge is free -- it can be found in books, in articles, on the Internet, pretty much everywhere, and it's precious to everyone. Expertise will not only allow you to grow your connections, it helps you solve problems in situations where there's a gap in your network.

4) Carpe Diem. When you see a way that someone else in your network can help a friend, don't wait. Pick up the phone mid-conversation to make the introduction -- "I'm here with my friend so-and-so and they need x and may call you, if it's alright" - then give your friend the information so they can follow up as they choose. Not only have you made it completely comfortable for them to reach out, you've also pinged someone else in your network -- double score.

Successfully connecting with others is never about simply getting what you want. It's about getting what you want and making sure that people who are important to you get what they want first -- and having fun while doing it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/keith-ferrazzi/how-to-win-friends-and-in_b_270747.html



A gathering of friends before a big birthday and wedding celebration in southern Sweden - Gswede made some great contacts that night!