"No Phone Zone" while Driving. Will You take the Pledge?

As I was eating lunch one day at home, I caught ten minutes of the Oprah Winfrey Show - a show originally shown this past spring. It couldn't have been a more timely or important portion of the show.

Jerry Seinfeld told the audience that he lost a good friend who was using his phone while driving. That really hit me in the gut as I (and many of you I suspect) am guilty of sending sms's/texts or talking on the phone ín my car. I don't do it when my children are in my vehicle although I do make infrequent use of technology when I am alone.

After Jerry's friend died, he immediately stopped using the phone in the car.

As I have mentioned in previous articles, inspiration comes in many forms and this moment inspired me. I pledge to NOT use any handheld phone while driving (NO text /sms or talking) unless it is a blue tooth device where my hands are free.

Frankly, I feel a bit foolish for doing it in the past as my wife always warned me of the dangers. This was my wake-up call.

Will you join me? I implore you to give it a try or pledge with me OR the next time you get in the car could be your last time.

Below is Oprah's "No Phone Zone Day" mission (link is below).

Happy Gswede Sunday!
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CHICAGO, IL— In a major new push to slow the growing epidemic of distracted driving, Oprah Winfrey and a national and grassroots coalition including traffic safety organizations, law enforcement agencies, federal and state transportation and highway safety offices, advocacy groups and concerned citizens will join forces Friday, April 30, to mark the first ever National No Phone Zone Day and drive home a simple message: Put down the phone when you're behind the wheel.

No Phone Zone Day will be marked with a special live episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show, viewing rallies in five major cities, a sponsored public service announcement campaign to run on television, in print and online, messages on outdoor billboards in markets across the country, social media activity and more calling on drivers to make their cars No Phone Zones.
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Putting an end to distracted driving will make America's roads safer for everyone," said U.S. Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood. "That's why I want drivers across the country to pledge that their vehicle will be a No Phone Zone. Each day we honor that pledge is a safer day on our roadways. Everyone needs play their part to end this deadly epidemic."
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(http://www.oprah.com/pressroom/The-Oprah-Show-Announces-Events-for-No-Phone-Zone-Day-on-April-30)

A precious friend moment on the beach in Sweden. (picture by Mia)

2010 Video - My Youth Basketball Program

Helping others has been and always will be important to me. It's great to have success in life although the thrill is lessened significantly in my opinion if one doesn't give back to their community, voluteer in some fashion or simply help someone in need.

Being a helping force for mankind doesn't have to be done in grand style - the key is to be consistent with whatever the mission in your heart is. For those who may want to start volunteering or might be looking for ways to make a better impact, I wrote an article (link below) in 2008 called "Giving is More Important than Ever".

(http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/12/yes.html)

One of the ways I give back is through my youth basketball program called "The American Basketball Coach in Sweden".  I founded the program in 2005 and we are looking forward to our 7th year in 2011!

This past May we impacted youth (girls and boys) outside of Stockholm in team strategy and individual instruction. It was a great joy to witness how excited these youth were to learn about basketball from a coach (Steve Freeland from Harrisburg, PA) who has a unique way of teaching.

Please take a moment to view our short video which will give you some insight about the program. For donations, you can email George at Gswede@gmail.com.

Let's all strive to continue the good work we do or if you haven't been enlightened on the subject of giving, 2010 could be the year to start. Whatever you do, remember to be consistent as the benefits for everyone involved are much stronger when there is a consistent pattern.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
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2010 "American Basketball Coach in Sweden" - Year 6 Video
(www.Gswede.blogspot.com)

Golf this Summer - "3rd Time is the Charm"

It’s rare when my golf game goes exceedingly well although this summer has surpassed my expectations and impressed a few friends.

My first shot off the tee came in early June at an annual golf tournament by a non-profit organization. There were a few good golfers present but many were people who only play in the summer like me. I played solidly all day and held my composure despite a few poorly played holes. I came in 3rd and kept my score near my handicap the entire day.

The second time around was in a club tournament in southern Sweden with a Swedish friend. The competition was “alternate shot”, meaning that my partner and I alternated shots throughout the day.

We didn’t start strongly but found our mojo around the 4th hole. Lady luck was on our side as my partner hit off the tee most of the time which was fortunate as he's better in that role. We came in 3rd place out of 91 pairs!

The third time found me playing with a Norwegian friend who is typically 10-12 strokes better than me. On this day, I beat him (by 5 strokes) marking the first time that has ever happened.

The conditions were VERY TOUGH with strong and diverse wind gusts all day. While walking the course, it was hard to talk due to the wind and my walking cart blew away on more than one occasion! We both thought the day would be super challenging.

Despite the conditions, my third time out was one of my best scores in years. It included a back nine of 3 consecutive pars on holes 10,11, and 12 and a score of 45 - a great nine hole score for me. And to do it in the aforementioned conditions made me feel good.

To give you an idea of how tough it was, consider these two points:

-- On many holes, when the shot called for an 8 or 9 nine iron approach, it was difficult to reach the green with a 5 or 6 iron!

-- My friend mentioned that these conditions would normally take 10 strokes off of one’s handicap. Indeed. His round was 20 strokes above his handicap.

I wondered why I was able to perform so well the third time when the conditions for my first two rounds were more ideal - sunny, no wind and perfect temperatures. In addition, I warmed up for twenty minutes the first two times and had no warm-up the third time.

Golf is funny that way as some days simply shine for no apparent reason. Maybe my concentration and focus were at a high level due to the wind gusts or I need a challenge to bring out the best in my golf game.

Who knows? What I do know is that is was a great day as any day is for me when it includes 18 holes of golf!

Keep in mind that I would not call myself a good golfer although I am a competent golfer which means that I am confident and competent when I compete with players on my level or higher.

My golf weakness is that I often don’t score well due to some bad habits and lack of practice - something many people can relate to. I hope to improve those habits in the future.

The "3rd time was the charm” - a charm I hope will revisit me sooner rather than later.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Horses and the beach in southern Sweden - photo by our friend Mia

An Act of Kindness by a Swede

In my experience, it’s rare when an “Act of Kindness” in the form of helping a stranger occurs in Sweden. In my six years here, nothing like the following has ever happened.

Planning to purchase a TV while on vacation, I did all the proper planning - obtained the address and phone number of the store and had my GPS in my car. What I didn’t know was that the store (and area) was brand new so my GPS couldn’t find the street or any other street nearby.

In addition, I was carrying my old phone which didn’t have Internet access so I couldn’t get directions. I wasted at least 30 minutes trying to find the store on my own.

Being a bit frustrated, I stopped at a gas station and focused on spotting a helpful face. I saw a man going to his car and asked him if he knew where the store was. Luckily, he did and I expected him to tell me so I could write down the directions.

Without blinking an eye, he said, “follow me, I will take you there”. I was shocked as no person in Sweden has ever been so pleasant when I needed help and I've asked many questions to strangers, especially in my early years.

He also mentioned that it would take “ten minutes to get there” which would have been difficult for him to explain and for me to absorb.

Never one to question or not take sincere help when offered, I thanked the man and jumped into my car for the short trip. Once at the store, it was clear the man wasn’t headed in that direction as there were only a handful of large and newly built stores. He turned his car around and I gave him a big wave of thanks. He beeped his horn and his kind act was complete. I was grateful for his guidance as I drove quite a distance to visit this store.

Two lessons from the day stuck with me and may help you as well:

-- Always print or write down directions - I usually print directions even though I have GPS just in case the GPS malfunctions. I have never needed the printed directions previously but there is a first time for everything. This was the time I needed them.

-- Help a stranger when you can - How many times have we been asked directions and simply pointed pointed people in the proper or improper direction? I have. Would it really mess up our day if we took an extra 10 minutes to help someone in need?

I’ve walked strangers to their destination on a few occasions although I can remember other times when I didn’t and could have as I had plenty of time to do so. When I have time, I plan to always help from this day forward.

An “Act of Kindness” is a beautiful thing as it is an invaluable tool in bringing mankind closer together, inspiring one another and connecting in a positive manner. Our complex and diverse world needs all the kindness we can provide.

This man’s eager help was a profound moment for me - one that touched me immensely and I will never forget.

As I have mentioned in previous blogs, one of the most precious times in our lives are the small moments we experience.  Make sure to enjoy and learn from them when they occur.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Photo taken by our friend Mia who is a wonderful photogratpher

My Birthday - (Gifts Have Never Been a Focus)

I celebrated my birthday in late June.

I am grateful for many things including but not limited to my health, the health of my family, my mother's health, my wonderful friends, my work colleagues, my job, my volunteer work, my blog, my youth basketball program and my mentors.

As a child, birthday's were always acknowledged and filled with love yet gifts were never a focal point of the celebration. My mother and father were brilliant in that regard as it has made gifts less important throughout my life.  The value of embracing love and family over material things is one of the best lessons my parents taught me.

Did I receive toys, etc when I was a child? Of course but never more than one or two and often they were educational.  I've seen children in my own family receive over 20 gifts at a birthday party -something that still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth to this day. Does a kid ever need that many gifts? What lessons are we teaching our children when we shower them with an abundance of material things?

My wife does a wonderful job of continuing the tradition that my parents started by giving me small and meaningful gifts on my birthday. The presents from her and my two children were perfect with books and magazines being strongly represented.  Her aunt also gave me a great gift and is something I can use promptly with the upcoming changes in our life.  I appreciate presents especially when there is thought behind them.

On my birthday, I woke up much too early (6:00am) as my daughter has never been known to sleep late. My family sang to me (in Swedish and English) and I opened up my gifts around 8:00am.  By 9:00am, my family (including my wife's aunt) was on the beach enjoying a perfect morning of sandcastles and splashes in the cool water of southern Sweden.

What a magnificent way to begin a birthday!

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede's birthday morning began on the beach at 9am.

An Article about Sweden, Men and Our Parental Leave

I was surprised at the number of people who sent me the NY Times article (In Sweden, the Men Can Have it All) regarding the generous parental leave for men in Sweden. I usually don't miss relevant articles from this site but this one would have escaped my eyeballs if not for my caring friends.

It's a good article although it speaks in general terms and doesn't give a true picture of statistics or what it's actually like to take parental leave. For instance, read the following paragraph:

From trendy central Stockholm to this village in the rugged forest south of the Arctic Circle, 85 percent of Swedish fathers take parental leave. Those who don’t face questions from family, friends and colleagues. As other countries still tinker with maternity leave and women’s rights, Sweden may be a glimpse of the future.
(http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/10/world/europe/10iht-sweden.html?scp=1&sq=in%20sweden,%20men%20can%20have%20it%20all&st=cse)

While the statistic of 85 percent is true, what they don't tell you is that the majority of that high percentage comes from the law that gives men the right to take the first two weeks off after the baby's birth. For many men, that is the only parental leave they take. Two weeks off with a new baby and the family is a wonderful opportunity but unless a man takes 3 months to 1 year (or more) for parental leave, he has no idea about the challenges of caring for a child or what a beautiful experience it is. The number that constitutes "real" parental leave (3 months or more in my opinion) is probably around 15-20%.

I understand that some men can't take parental leave for financial reasons although I know several men who could take at least 3 months off but choose not to, primarily because they don't want to deal with the difficulties and challenges. It's a shame as they would gain so much from the experience and the bond with their child would be much stronger.

The article does touch on some of the experiences of men in Sweden but nothing in great detail. I like to read about people's stories and have done so on many occasions regarding men and parental leave. In addition, I was so inspired by my lovely experiences (5-6 months off from my job twice - first with my son, then with my daughter), that I put pen to paper and crafted an article I am proud of. I believe it was interesting to a wide range of people as it was one of my most popular articles.

A paragraph from, "A Father's Parental Leave, Swedish Style" is below followed by the link to my entire article.

I have always loved kids and especially seeing the joy in their faces for the simplest of things. Having a chance to witness that with my own son and now daughter sometimes brings me to tears. Never one to cry much, the tears flow much easier now (which is a good thing). The picture isn't always rosy. When I was home with Lennart, there were days when it was hard, with crappy (rain and clouds it seemed daily) Swedish winter weather and the sometimes endless changing of clothes and diapers! That feeling never lasts long as having the time to not work and focus solely on a child and his/her development is a wonderful thing.
(http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/09/fathers-parental-leave-swedish-syle.html)

I am grateful for the many blessings in my life including the time spent with my children when they were so young. I am reminded every day of how important it was as I know the bond we share wouldn't be as strong if I didn't take those 5-6 months off from my job.

For men in Sweden who may be undecided about what to do regarding parental leave, I implore you to embrace this unique privilege. Remember, your children are only young once and if you have the chance to spend quality time with them, reach out and grab it!  While it may be tough or even draining on a daily basis, the heartfelt and precious moments will also shine through daily.

At the end of your parental leave and for the rest of your life, that quality time you put in will come back to you in more ways than you can imagine.

Not only am I a better father because of the precious time with my children but it has also helped me to appreciate what mothers go through -  therefore I am also a better man, son and husband.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

A unique statue in the city of Boras, Sweden

Every Day is a Good Day!

When friends or strangers ask me "how was your day", I often answer by saying........."Every Day is a Good Day!".

Sometimes, the positive nature of my comment elicits weird looks which puzzles me as my words are exactly how I feel. Do I have days filled with disappointment or challenges? Of course I do but the days are still good. I guess some of the reactions are understandable as positivity seems to be dwindling in our increasingly fast and furious global world.

Each day I wake up with the excitement of a child! I enjoy the fact that the day will be full of opportunities, challenges, ups and downs, as well as the unknown. In addition, those little things (i.e. a chorus of sparrows, kids laughing, the sounds of nature, a bask in the sunlight, a quick nap, etc), that I often took for granted or didn't appreciate as a twenty-something, inspire me daily.

Every night I go to bed happy about the days activities - usually with a very satisfying feeling inside my soul. To have a day end with my health along with the health of my wife, kids, mother, family and friends intact is enough to make my day and bring a smile to my face.

You can learn a lot about a person's happiness or state of mind by asking them about their day. I recently asked someone the question and she said, "Yea Whatever", clearly frustrated with life. And this woman has an amazing life in many aspects although she tends to miss the little moments as she lives in the fast lane. I warmly mentioned that she should consider slowing down a bit so as not to experience life in such a rush rush fashion. I can only hope my words helped to make an impact.

It's no coincidence that most of my inner circle is made up of men and woman who exude positivity on a regular basis. Their relentless optimism is wonderful to be around and gives me a boost of energy.

How do you respond when a person asks about your day? Do you answer with GUSTO or with a plain ho hum word like "OK" or "fine".

If your response is typically uninspired, I implore you to TRY A LITTLE POSITIVITY the next time someone says hello or asks about your day. You will feel better and the person asking will get some positive energy back from you.

Often one has to take baby steps in order to increase the happiness or optimism in their life. One way is to just be more energetic and enthusiastic when dealing with people or even strangers. If you do that, I assure you that your day will at least be a bit brighter and hopefully, you can begin to make positivity a more common theme in your life.

Enjoy your Day and Happy Gswede Sunday!

This feline was enjoying a good day in the south of France