The story begins in early 2006 with me running on the treadmill at my health club in Stockholm. Typically, people just go about their business at this club and rarely engage (or even look at) others unless they know them. I tend to look around no matter where I am as I enjoy meeting new people.
I glanced at a treadmill nearby and saw a man I had never seen before. While I don’t remember how we started our conversation, what was memorable was the ease of our first words and the ensuing talk. We talked about business mostly and exchanged contact information. The fact that he was so open to someone he never met before led me to believe that he was a different kind of Swede; one interested in networking together. We had a refreshing dialogue and I had no doubt that we would meet again. I had met a few interesting Swedish businessmen before although the follow-up I expected never happened which was disappointing.
It wasn’t long before we met again and attempted to work on some business deals as well as get to know each other better. Although he was in his 20’s, he had a maturity and sensibility of someone much older. His business knowledge was sound and I could tell he cared about others. Most importantly, he was interesting.
In late May of that year, a close friend from New York City (NYC) came to run the Stockholm Marathon with me. Since I couldn’t provide all the connections for my NYC friend to have a good social experience, I asked my new Stockholm friend if he could help me out. He took the New Yorker to great places, showed him Stockholm and introduced him to his friends including some lovely ladies. Most impressive and pleasing to me was that he was taken care of as if he was an old friend. I was surprised at this generosity although I could tell that our friendship was beginning to bloom.
Later in the summer, the New Yorker came back to Stockholm with my childhood friend who was also living in the “Big Apple”. Once again, my Stockholm friend displayed his friendship skills, embracing both and showing them a fabulous time! He even set up a traditional Swedish crayfish party with a diverse group of people which was a wonderful ending to their time in Sweden. After getting to know them, my Stockholm friend had a new world in front of him and it didn’t take long for him to make the trip to Manhattan. After what he did for my friends, it was great to see him benefit by experiencing the best city in the world!
Despite knowing him less than a year, I was learning from his insight and it’s rare to seeing young people being so perceptive. My friend pulled me aside one day and told me to “make sure I look people in the eye” when talking to them. His words were powerful and I never forgot them.
He had proven to be trustworthy which is why I opened up more of my network for him to begin to explore the east coast of America. I had a sense that he might want to live elsewhere at some point as his talents were better suited outside of Sweden. He has an entrepreneurial spirit and is a gifted networker - all qualities better suited in city where he could blossom quickly.
In the last few years, this friend of mine has met and enjoyed several of my close friends. One dear friend and mentor invited him to his home in Washington, DC for Thanksgiving which was memorable. In addition, he has taken care of numerous friends who have visited me over the years whether they needed a place to stay, an event to go to or a restaurant to enjoy. If he couldn’t do something I asked him for, it wasn’t for lack of trying.
In 2008, he sought my advice about moving abroad as Stockholm was frustrating him. He asked me what I thought about him changing countries which I appreciated. I told him that he should “do it” and totally embraced his plan. He could always come back to Sweden to have kids as many Swedes do after a few years abroad. He finalized his plans to leave shortly thereafter.
He has lived in an exciting European capital city for one year. He has travelled the world, learned more about himself and is building a solid career; something that would have been tougher for him to do had he stayed in Stockholm. I am proud of him for being so bold and passionate. He also has a wonderful girlfriend and that makes the hustle and challenges of life much smoother.
He’s certainly an atypical Swedish man as this type of story has happened to me several times in America especially in Manhattan. He and I have benefited each other better than some others I have known for much longer! Friendships should work in a similar manner, yet far too often we don’t help our friends as much as we can. Why not? It is essential to connect and like each other although that is not enough. Friends SHOULD help each other so that careers go faster and life improves quicker. Without my friends, I wouldn’t be close to where I am today in terms of knowledge, connections, living abroad, jobs………just to name a few. And I have always tried to return the favor. (I will be writing more on this subject later in the year)
This week, my friend turns 30 and is celebrating his big day in NYC. I wish I could be there but my “family man” duties call – and Manhattan is no place for a man with 2 kids under 3 years!
My birthday message to him:
I hope you are having a great time in my favorite city, NYC. Please give my best to all our mutual friends as well as to your girlfriend. Thank you for your friendship, loyalty and respect. I have only met a few Swedish men like you although I am optimistic that more of your kind resides here. It is been an enjoyable four years and I am looking forward to growing the friendship in the years to come.
You have been a big part of making my acclamation to Sweden a smooth one and your generosity with my visitors is appreciated more than you know. Keep up the hard work, be disciplined and go after the things you desire in life and let NOTHING hold you back. You have much to give to the world and with your talents, only you can limit yourself.
The bumps and bruises in life will always be there yet if you keep that positive attitude and stay focused, you will pass by those obstacles and reach your goals. I love the fact that your thirst for learning is so strong. Never lose that desire as improving as a person and knowledge in general is so important to the success of any life.
Remember the quote you reminded me of from one of my favorite books, Pat Riley’s “The Winner Within”:
Pat quotes M. Scott Peck’s book “The Road Less Travelled” that has the following three words as the opening…………….LIFE IS DIFFICULT.
Pat goes on to write:
“Once you realize that and accept that fact, you’re ready to live life successfully. You find a genuine kind of peace. You focus on controlling the things that you are able to control. Your rededicate your energies to basics. The most profound basic of all is simple hard work”. – Pat Riley
Grattis på födelsdagen min vän!
Happy Gswede Sunday!
One of Gswede's favorite photos. Two friends enjoying summertime ease in the south of Sweden.
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