Swedish Perspective - “5 years in Sweden” article

Wow.

I had no idea that last Sunday’s article “5 Years in Sweden – No place I’d Rather be…BUT” (see link on right under articles) would elicit such a strong reaction! It was one of my most read articles since I began this blog in March 2008. In addition, many wrote to me personally to give their opinion which I enjoyed and appreciated.

Some felt sad while others could instantly relate whether they lived in Sweden or only visited. Very view disagreed, some totally agreed and others thought it was negative. One person called Sweden fantastic. The opinions came from Swedes and Americans who have lived abroad.

One viewpoint was from a friend I have known only a year. She is Swedish, 37 and has extensive experience living abroad. What she wrote surprised me and may shock some people. I learned a lot about her and those who don’t know much about Sweden will get a full plate of knowledge. She paints her picture below.

Following her words are a few other interesting Swedish perspectives. Further down, you will find links to three insightful comments from Americans who have visited Sweden on numerous occasions.

My intention was not for my story to be positive or negative. It was not to have my readers agree/disagree or feel sad/hurt. My purpose was to INFORM and EDUCATE people about George’s experiences, particularly those foreigners considering a move to Sweden. Unfortunately, negative points of view can sometimes overshadow the positive aspects.

Hopefully, my words last week can put a step in everyone’s stride in lending a helping hand to foreigners who want to work. Many Swedes have helped me adjust to Sweden and gain employment and I have helped both Swedes and foreigners. We can all do something even if it’s only a tip about a job you have heard of. Maybe one day in the near future, Swedish employers will start to think differently and realize that it could be smart to hire qualified foreigners despite the discomfort that it may cause.

If we care, let’s direct that energy to those individuals who can’t find a job, simply because they are not welcome or given the chance.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
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Swedish Woman, 37 – Lived abroad and currently lives in Sweden

George. It's weird, but it's like I could have written those words myself - I feel EXACTLY the same way - with the weirdest part of course being that I AM Swedish!
But I'm telling you, I've been gone for "too long" and no one will even give me a chance to get hired here. I loved that phrase "comfort over improvement" because that's exactly what it is. I must have applied for at least 50 jobs during the last year and have not been asked to a single interview at a Swedish place of employment. Not one.

I have had 2 interviews, (both of which I actually ended up having multiple meetings for, one even 7 interviews) - but they were both for international organizations. I didn't get them, but I was close and I was given a chance - and they were both for advanced positions.

How could it be that I can't even get asked to come to an interview for entry-level jobs here?

I'm telling you, I feel for the Iraqi immigrants with "foreign" names and educations, because if I can't get an interview, in spite of having a Swedish name, Swedish upbringing and obviously being a native Swedish speaker. And why?

It seems to be because I’ve never worked in Sweden (moved the day after graduating from high-school, at the age of 18), or perhaps because I only have foreign educations (US University degree, from UCLA, no help that I graduated Summa Cum Laude, top 200 students of 36,000, and from the University of Madrid) etc. Again, why? It seems, simply because the Swedes seem to "not being able to relate".

Plainly spoken, I guess I seem too odd. Too different. Don't fit in. Think too differently. You'd think that international experience would be considered a positive thing - hey, after all we are living in a "global" world and economy right - shouldn't this be a positive rather than a negative?

I speak several languages fluently, I know how to interact with people from various national, religious and cultural backgrounds, I'm open minded, entrepreneurial, and I have quite a lot of decent work experience. I'm not saying this to toot my own horn, but it's pretty darn discouraging when I can't even get called in for an interview for a secretary/receptionist/assistant position. It's certainly not very good for my self-esteem, or should I say... it's sort of soul-killing, really. Maybe it's the economy, maybe it's me, who knows, but you'd think I'd at least get to go to one interview...

I don't mean to write so many negatives, it's just hard to understand how it can be so hard to "break in" and to get employment here. And, honestly, it seems that the best odds to get a job here is not through applying, but to know someone. Everyone I speak to say that they got their jobs through knowing someone, not from answering job ads. Sure, it's always good to have contacts and it works like that to some degree everywhere, but not like in Sweden. Here, it seems they would rather give the job to someone they know rather than someone who may be better suited for it.

It's sort of a paradox really, because on the one hand it seems that there's a bit of a "meritokrati" here - God forbid you don't have an actual education from the Informatörslinje from a Swedish university - you couldn't possibly know anything about communication or building networks or running projects then, could you?
(Never mind that you've actually started and successfully completed international projects everywhere and did all the marketing and PR and website building for it...)

And on the other hand it's like merit doesn't count as much... or at least not as much as knowing someone, or at least have the decency to fit in. Having gone to the same schools, going skiing to Åre for sportlovet, and having a summer house in the archipelago etc. Watch melodifestivalen, and of course, agree with everyone else and the status quo. Anything but different. Nor too enthusiastic! That's apparently a no-no too.

The most honest person I met lately was a lady at Arbetsförmedlingen (agency for the unemployed) last week. She said, when I read through your CV before our meeting, I must admit that I didn't know how I would speak to you. You're so different from me, having done so many things, lived so many places, had your own businesses, ran these international projects, in the US, in Malawi, in Brazil... I've always lived, studied and worked in Sweden - always as an employee, always in a myndighet, I would rather hire someone that I knew I could relate to and that I wouldn't feel intimidated by - so I can understand that you don't get called in for interviews. You seem too different, too foreign; I wouldn't know where to place you.

So, she advised me to tone down my past. Pretty much as in not hardly even mentioning that I've lived abroad and much of my whole adult life, or even that I've been self-employed, or that I've worked with international projects. Her advice was to simply say "I am looking for a change in my life and due to my personal life and priority being a mother and having a family it would suit me well to work as an employee, locally, so that I can enjoy a more stable everyday life with routines and colleagues." She said it would be easier for an employee to relate to that, than to my presentation speaking of what I had done previously etc.

She also said that I should write about my kids, including names and ages, what I like to do on my spare time (i.e. hobbies), and my age. (WHAT?? Can you imagine starting a letter like that in the US, hahaha, "Hi, I'm --------, 37, and I would like this position as I would like to prioritize my kids and family - have a stable environment as an employee so that I may enjoy my private life to the fullest - I love nature, photography and yoga. I also like to travel and spend time with family and friends. I look forward to getting to know my new colleagues and like to have fun at work..."

I'm exaggerating of course, but the fact that they even RECOMMEND this approach is actually quite hilarious and goes to show you how little I know my own country and people.

I do know however that I will never become a true Swede again. I'm too Americanized. Or perhaps, too much of a global citizen really. Anywhere but here, this would probably be considered a good thing. But here, you have to fit in to be accepted. Not stick out from the crowd.

Last week I had my exhibit in Rio - at a conference with participants from over 80 nations. I could talk to ANYONE, one day having breakfast with someone from Nepal, lunch with some folks from the Congo, dinner with people from Argentina, Zimbabwe, Bangladesh and Canada. I never felt awkward or that there wasn't anything to talk about. I actually thought about how I felt more at home than I do here, which of course, is my home. Even others didn't get that I was Swedish. "Why are you going to Stockholm" they'd ask. Uh, cause I'm from there and I live there (and it says so on my name tag here even). And I noticed that people from pretty much everywhere are actually quite similar, you know - the basics, you greet, you look each other in the eye acknowledging the other's existence, you say sorry and excuse me and thank you... But not here, here it's considered normal to bump into each other, to look through people as if they didn't exist, certainly NOT say hi! And the funny thing is that people here think that THEY are the norm and that the Swedish way is THE way. It's mind boggling.

OK - enough Swede bashing for one day - it's probably because I'm so frustrated about the job search thing that I'm venting. But each time I leave, I'm secretly wondering why I live here when I return. I was in the US in Feb and Brazil in March/April and I do feel more alive elsewhere. I feel more like ME.I My spirit thrives on the human interactions, the courtesies, the friendly jokes, the "have a great day now" comments. There's something to the coldness and the rudeness and the closed-offedness, even though that's not a word, that's very unhealthy for your spirit.

So - having meant to only write you a sentence or two - I guess in brief what I wanted to say is that I'm with you, it's amazing for kids, but not all healthy for adults who have lived other places and "know better" haha. But I'm also very aware of the great, unique and amazing things about this place too. The health care, the child care and schools, the nature, the pretty healthy social structures and values, a certain honesty of the people, and all that. So, I too am very grateful to be here and have no intention on going elsewhere, at least not until the kids are older - but I think that it'll be healthier for me if I stop trying to FIT IN cause guess what, I won't. And I'm not even sure that that would be a healthy goal, haha.

Instead, it may be better to create our own little sub-culture and to enjoy the people that we can relate too. Enjoy the greatness that Sweden has to offer, and mix in some of the good stuff from elsewhere and create our own little Universe and reality. Your friend's idea about starting up our own things instead of trying to get hired is a pretty good one.

The other day, when coming back from Brazil, I had the most interesting conversation with an immigrant taxi driver. He said "now you know what it's like for us - it's not normal, it isn't..." and then he says "you know what, I've been here for 10 years, and I have never had a conversation like this with a Swede before. Not once." Hmm. His sister, a doctor and PhD, couldn't get a single job here, in spite of speaking Swedish. She was tired, moved to London and instantly got hired to teach at one of their top Universities. Sweden is losing out by being so exclusive, by not welcoming diversity, by choosing not to learn from it.

Sweden's great, sure, but it's not the only way, and hey - have you ever thought about the fact that "osvenskt" actually has positive connotations even to Swedes... "Han är så osvensk", that normally means, open, friendly, outgoing. If people actually learned from other cultures, at least that life becomes more enjoyable if we start acknowledging each other by saying hi and maybe even smile once in a while - I bet even Swedes would feel less depressed and more connected to a oneness. I hope this will happen in my life time, no, I hope that it happens a lot sooner cause I don't want my kids to grow up thinking that it's "normal" to be rude.

And I hope I get a job :-)
Or, even better, create my own - HERE.

Thanks for your thoughts. Sorry that mine got so long-winded. Now I guess I'm going back to my job search.


Swedish woman, late 30’s – Lived abroad and currently lives in Sweden

George, this was strong reading...it made me sad, understanding your Swedish experience and also how we Swedes are: Why are we so ignorant and social incompetent......Believe me, even Swedes suffers from this.

Anyway glad to hear that you right now think: there is no better place than Sweden.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, feelings and experience,

Send my love to the rest of the family as well.


Swedish man, 40ish – Lived abroad and currently lives in Sweden

Thoughtful reading, George....more than sometimes I wonder what I’m doing here myself! :)

Have a super Thursday – you’re worth it for sure!


Swedish woman, late 20’s – Lived in Norway and currently lives in Sweden

Hej George

Hmm, you make us Swedes sound very dull. You are used to something because you are from the states. We are maybe subtle but not dull. I for one am very open and like to talk to all sorts of people. I can talk to someone anywhere and I am not afraid to start a conversation if I find someone interesting. It fells like you are judging us to hard just because you are used to something that we are not. There are also a lot of fun things to do here if you just make the effort to find it.

I am happy that u and your wife decided to live here because you are the sweetest people I have met. She is a wonderful woman and you are so lucky to have her. You are very handsome and funny. You are also loving to your family and I am jealous of you all, but in a good way :)

Hope you will enjoy it here, we enjoy having you.

(and you Americans shouldn’t just assume that everyone wants to talk English all the time just because some of us can, not all. One should always learn the language as you know now) :)


3 American men ages 40-45 – All have lived abroad and visited Sweden

For their comments, you can click on the article (link is below) and scroll down to comments at the end.

Blog: Gswede Sunday
Post: 5 Years in Sweden - No Place I'd Rather be...BUT
Link: http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/04/5-years-in-sweden-there-is-no-place-id.html



Diversity outside or inside the workplace is a beautiful thing - A Swede living in Spain / An American living in the USA / A Swede living in Sweden / An American living in Sweden