The most important decision we make in life is who we choose to marry. The choice should be carefully and thoroughly evaluated as well as based in reality, not emotional fantasy since very few of us lead fairytale lives.
Having been a student (observing, questioning, listening and learning) of marriage while I was single, I knew what I wanted, seldom wasted time with unproductive relationships and was as ready as one can be for what I considered a 25% chance of finding someone that was a good match for me.
Thankfully, fortune smiled on me.
When I met my wife, I could sense the sweetness in her soul and I knew in my heart that I wanted to explore and learn more about her. We were both fortunate to have that moment when we knew a life together could happen. From that time, a magnificent love has blossomed in ways I could have never imagined.
We just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. It has been a very enjoyable and most interesting five years living in America and Sweden. Our GOOD LIFE has been full of joy, sadness, love, challenges, hard work, fitness, tragedy, happiness, perseverance, fun, wisdom, learning, travel experiences, comfort, compassion, satisfaction, pressure, trust, disappointment and creativity.
The main reason I was able to enjoy our good times and sensibly cope in the tough times is because I "Chose Wisely for Marriage" (see March archives). As the years went by, I realized that I was a very blessed man.
Marrying my wife was the best and most important decision I ever made.
Here are 10 (of many) reasons why:
1) Trust – I evaluated in this area completely and my wife earned my trust rather quickly. I trust her implicitly. This element was the most important criteria for my decision to marry. One should never blindly give trust to someone. Unfortunately, so many do and suffer consequences. If trust is not at the top of your list, it should be close.
2) Love and Like – Not only do I love my wife deeply but I like, respect and admire her as a person. When life presents the inevitable challenges, that foundation of Love and Like helps immensely.
3) Lets "Me be Me" – I never have to act differently whether I am alone with her, meeting new people or with work colleagues. She lets Me be Me! When people cannot be themselves in all situations around their spouse, there is usually a problem.
4) Takes care of me the way I wanted and expected – This area is hard to explain but everyone should know how they want to be treated and taken care of in a marriage. If you don't know that, you are likely not to know what you want (qualities/characteristics) in a potential spouse which makes "Choosing Wisely" very difficult.
5) Good Mother – After meeting my wife's loving and warm mother, I knew that the acclamation to motherhood would be fairly easy for her. She impresses me in this area daily. Our son is very fortunate for her comforting ways.
6) Lived abroad – Anyone who lives outside of their birth country for a significant time is generally more interesting and usually has a more well-rounded sensibility for life and the world. Her diversity (lived in Japan, USA and Sweden) is enthralling.
7) Smart, Dynamic and Ambitious – Enough said. She keeps me on my toes constantly and pushes me to do better in a variety of areas which I appreciate!
8) Fitness is a Priority – She inspires me often in this area and has always worked to maintain her body and health. During her first pregnancy, she was swimming the day before she gave birth. One's health should be priority # 1.
9) Close friends – My wife has numerous close friends and I enjoy the company of most. It is critical to have a life outside of one's main family and quality friends are an invaluable part of that life.
10) Family comes FIRST – This should go without saying as one's immediate family should always come first. Some never get this right and give preference to mothers, sisters, brothers, fathers, etc and disrespect their spouse or ruin their marriage. My son and I are the most important two people in her life.
I have 45 more years to hopefully reach that Golden 50th anniversary with my wife. I plan to enjoy every moment of the journey.
If you are married, has your choice been your best decision?
If you are getting married in the near future, have you "Taken the Emotion out of it" (see July archives) and based your decision in reality?
If you are not married, are you confident that one day your choice will be a wise one?
If you answered NO to any of the aforementioned questions, I encourage you to have a serious conversation with yourself and ask the hard questions like "How do I REALLY want to live my life"? Am I having fun or just grinding through life? Do I want to grow old being unhappy most of the time?
Even a good marriage presents tough life challenges as I pointed out above with the descriptive elements of our 5 years. To endure an "unhappy or miserable" marriage, the fun of life remains elusive and life often goes by quite painfully.
If you have made an unwise marriage choice or are about to, don't be afraid to do the work necessary to improve your life and/or relationship. We all know in our hearts where we want to be as a couple but many are simply afraid to act, thus allowing their happiness to keep slipping further and further away.
Time is of the essence. Grab that slice of life you desire and deserve before the clock stops ticking!
Happy Gswede Sunday!
Having been a student (observing, questioning, listening and learning) of marriage while I was single, I knew what I wanted, seldom wasted time with unproductive relationships and was as ready as one can be for what I considered a 25% chance of finding someone that was a good match for me.
Thankfully, fortune smiled on me.
When I met my wife, I could sense the sweetness in her soul and I knew in my heart that I wanted to explore and learn more about her. We were both fortunate to have that moment when we knew a life together could happen. From that time, a magnificent love has blossomed in ways I could have never imagined.
We just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. It has been a very enjoyable and most interesting five years living in America and Sweden. Our GOOD LIFE has been full of joy, sadness, love, challenges, hard work, fitness, tragedy, happiness, perseverance, fun, wisdom, learning, travel experiences, comfort, compassion, satisfaction, pressure, trust, disappointment and creativity.
The main reason I was able to enjoy our good times and sensibly cope in the tough times is because I "Chose Wisely for Marriage" (see March archives). As the years went by, I realized that I was a very blessed man.
Marrying my wife was the best and most important decision I ever made.
Here are 10 (of many) reasons why:
1) Trust – I evaluated in this area completely and my wife earned my trust rather quickly. I trust her implicitly. This element was the most important criteria for my decision to marry. One should never blindly give trust to someone. Unfortunately, so many do and suffer consequences. If trust is not at the top of your list, it should be close.
2) Love and Like – Not only do I love my wife deeply but I like, respect and admire her as a person. When life presents the inevitable challenges, that foundation of Love and Like helps immensely.
3) Lets "Me be Me" – I never have to act differently whether I am alone with her, meeting new people or with work colleagues. She lets Me be Me! When people cannot be themselves in all situations around their spouse, there is usually a problem.
4) Takes care of me the way I wanted and expected – This area is hard to explain but everyone should know how they want to be treated and taken care of in a marriage. If you don't know that, you are likely not to know what you want (qualities/characteristics) in a potential spouse which makes "Choosing Wisely" very difficult.
5) Good Mother – After meeting my wife's loving and warm mother, I knew that the acclamation to motherhood would be fairly easy for her. She impresses me in this area daily. Our son is very fortunate for her comforting ways.
6) Lived abroad – Anyone who lives outside of their birth country for a significant time is generally more interesting and usually has a more well-rounded sensibility for life and the world. Her diversity (lived in Japan, USA and Sweden) is enthralling.
7) Smart, Dynamic and Ambitious – Enough said. She keeps me on my toes constantly and pushes me to do better in a variety of areas which I appreciate!
8) Fitness is a Priority – She inspires me often in this area and has always worked to maintain her body and health. During her first pregnancy, she was swimming the day before she gave birth. One's health should be priority # 1.
9) Close friends – My wife has numerous close friends and I enjoy the company of most. It is critical to have a life outside of one's main family and quality friends are an invaluable part of that life.
10) Family comes FIRST – This should go without saying as one's immediate family should always come first. Some never get this right and give preference to mothers, sisters, brothers, fathers, etc and disrespect their spouse or ruin their marriage. My son and I are the most important two people in her life.
I have 45 more years to hopefully reach that Golden 50th anniversary with my wife. I plan to enjoy every moment of the journey.
If you are married, has your choice been your best decision?
If you are getting married in the near future, have you "Taken the Emotion out of it" (see July archives) and based your decision in reality?
If you are not married, are you confident that one day your choice will be a wise one?
If you answered NO to any of the aforementioned questions, I encourage you to have a serious conversation with yourself and ask the hard questions like "How do I REALLY want to live my life"? Am I having fun or just grinding through life? Do I want to grow old being unhappy most of the time?
Even a good marriage presents tough life challenges as I pointed out above with the descriptive elements of our 5 years. To endure an "unhappy or miserable" marriage, the fun of life remains elusive and life often goes by quite painfully.
If you have made an unwise marriage choice or are about to, don't be afraid to do the work necessary to improve your life and/or relationship. We all know in our hearts where we want to be as a couple but many are simply afraid to act, thus allowing their happiness to keep slipping further and further away.
Time is of the essence. Grab that slice of life you desire and deserve before the clock stops ticking!
Happy Gswede Sunday!
My Best and Most Important Decision
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