7 More Favorite Quotes

In August of 2008, I shared 7 of my favorite quotes. (link is below)

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/08/7-of-gswedes-favorite-quotes.html

I love quotes as they often uplift and inspire me. Below are 7 more:

Scars remind us of where we have been. They don't have to dictate where we are going.
--- Author Unknown

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have compassion for everyone you meet, even if they don't want it. What appears bad manners, an ill temper or cynicism is always a sign of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen. You do not know what wars are going on down there where the spirit meets the bone.

-- Miller Williams

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
--Martin Luther King Jr.


Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.
--Langston Hughes

Let the world wait, while we procrastinate...it's too hot now
There will be time, to wake up-tow the line...but it's not now
--Michael Franks (from the song Dragonfly Summer)


If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It's very important to be aware of them every time they come up.
--Deepak Chopra


Have a Happy Gswede Sunday!

2007 - Swedish youth enjoying the beauty of summer.

Daily Relaxation Tips for A Happier You

While reading an article rarely do I think, "Wow, I would have written on that subject using much of the same tone and language". The article below on staying relaxed falls into that category.

Being relaxed during the course of any given day is difficult for many people. We all have numerous "to do's" on our plates yet many of us rush through the day at breakneck speed while allowing stress to be the dominating factor instead of letting a bit of peace and happiness take hold.

Everyday I witness one of these 3 scenes - 1) the unhappiness in a person's stressful eye 2) The hurried state of a busy executive or young person 3) A child missing out on a comfortable morning because a parent is unfocused and stressed.

Last Friday, a parent was rushing at my son's day-care - one of his children was crying and the other was a bit stressed. This man always seems to be in a hurried state and I suggested to him once (after a nice discussion) that he should consider getting up earlier if he is always behind in the morning. It turns out that he does get up early but the main problem in the household seems to be a lack of relaxation as the parents are getting the children prepared for school. In this situation, it's a lose lose for everyone - the parents rush and the children are being taught that rushing and stress are normal and/or good qualities.

Children test our patience at an extreme level yet is there anything more important than setting a good example for them in terms of handling stress and being a strong parent?

The following article can benefit most of us but it is particularly important for parents as I think you will find a few worthwhile tips to help lessen the daily stress burden. In my opinion, a parent should be calm and comfortable when interacting with a child especially in the morning. The morning hour(s) should be a enjoyable time for a child as it is the start of the day. Don't we all like to begin the day with a dose of sunshine instead of a rainstorm?

I have printed the article titled "How Happy Is... 5 Easy Ways To Stay Relaxed Now!" in its entirety below. You can click on the title to go to link on the Huffington Post. The author is Sophie Keller and her website is http://www.howhappyis.com/

Enjoy the tips. They provided some valuable insight for me.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
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How Happy Is... 5 Easy Ways To Stay Relaxed Now!

Relaxing and unwinding is about being in a chilled out state as much as you possibly can through out your day, rather than having to take time out to do it as a reaction from the rest of your day, which you have decided to make stressful. So here are a few ways in which you can stay permanently calm regardless of what you are going through and what is going on around you.

Tip 1: Change Your Language: The every day language that you use will govern whether you see life as exciting or frightening, easy or hard, effortless or worrying. If you go through life as if it's a struggle and you wake up to 'battle a new day' or you think people are 'out to get you', your body is going to be in a heightened stressed state, thinking that it is at war. Perhaps if you take the time to become a bit more conscious of the words that come out of your mouth to describe your experiences then you will be aware of whether you need to start to use words that relax and excite you, rather than those that have you in a state of constant defense.

Tip 2: Let Go Of Tension: Every now and again in the day check in to your body and notice where you are holding tension. Could your shoulders be more relaxed? Could your jaw loosen its grip? Could you perhaps breathe a bit more deeply? If you are aware of where you hold your stress, you can direct your attention to those places in order to let go of it.

Tip 3: Be Present, Now: At the same time that you notice where you are holding tension, take your mind from the past and out of the future and become a bit more present to what is happening around you. Listen to three noises you are hearing right now as you read this and notice three colors that you see in front of you. If you really want to know where you are, then take a look at your feet, as where your feet are, is where you are.

Tip 4: Let It Go:
Let your thoughts and feelings pass in and out of you, because they are always changing. The more you can let go of being attached to them, the better. They are not who you are, you have them. So, if you feel mad, let it go quickly, if you feel anxiety, release it and move on. Remember, that when you react to something that happens, after the incident is over you are reacting to the memory of it, not the actual incident itself. So let it go!

Tip 5: Happiness vs. Achievement: Do not mix up having a sense of achievement of reaching your goals and your ability to be happy and calm regardless of whether you have or haven't. It's important to have goals in life, as it's exciting to work towards reaching them. But be a bit patient and don't let the fact that you might not have reached them yet suspend your ability to be happy and stress-free every day. Be happy, regardless of where you are on your journey, because if you are waiting to reach a goal before you decide to enjoy your life, then you will look back and notice that you have wasted most of it.

That's it for this week. Some of you may have noticed that I disappeared off the Huffington Post for a few months. I have now started to do regular 'howhappyis' television segments on the KTLA morning television show and have completed my website which I would love you to visit at howhappyis.com, where you can read many more articles, watch the KTLA videos, make contact with me, ask any questions and sign up for a monthly newsletter. I look forward to hearing from you. Love Sophie x

A HOT moment on the beach - Southern Sweden in summer 2007

Tiger - Okay, He's Human.....Now Let's Enjoy His Golf

I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.
(http://web.tigerwoods.com/news/article/200912027740572/news/) - Tiger Wood's Website

I suspect you knew something didn't quite make sense in Tiger's world after hearing about a driveway car accident at 2:25am, scratches on the face and his wife holding a golf club. It seems many gave Tiger the benefit of the doubt as they believed that he was a squeaky clean family man. Upon hearing the news, a marital problem was my first thought mainly because Tiger has had (until now) a superior image and maintained a super secretive private life. This bizarre accident seemed out of character for a man who loves his privacy. I'm glad he finally came clean earlier this week with his "transgressions" as it should serve him well in the future with his family, the public and his sponsors.

What is quite scary for his fellow PGA golfers is that his ordeal might make him a better golfer.

The worst kept secret is finally out and now the greatest golfer ever has a few blemishes. It's fascinating how HUGE this story has become and I wanted to address some of the issues that my inner circle has discussed as well as commentary I have read.

Family Man

Tiger Woods never claimed to be a "family man" or "man of values". All he ever talked about was golf and nothing about his private life. He did mention that he was a boring guy although we now know that nothing could be further from the truth. Previously, the perception of Tiger was a good guy who had it all - golfing perfection, beautiful Swedish wife, two kids, money to burn...so most people assumed that because of the perception, the integrity of the man was solid.

We should never forget these wise words - "Never judge a book by its cover".

Tiger cheated on his wife, let down his family and his integrity has taken a severe blow. I have written about him (one link is below) on more than one occasion yet purposely never talked about his family life as I didn't want to give the impression that he was a loyal family guy as how could I or anyone else know. I had hoped that Tiger's integrity was rock solid but having worked in sports and with famous athletes, his admission didn't shock or even surprise me as I have seen the mighty temptations that exist in their world. In no way do I condone his actions although it's important to remember that he never claimed to be anything other than a guy who wanted to be the best golfer that he could be.

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/09/tiger-no-athlete-can-compare.html

Jesper Parnevik

Jesper Parnevik is the Swedish professional golfer who introduced Elin Woods to Tiger. Before Elin met Tiger, she was the nanny for the Parnevik family. Most of Tiger's PGA peers have steered clear of talking about this story - not Jesper.

He said:

I really feel sorry for Elin — since me and my wife were at fault for hooking her up with him," Parnevik said Wednesday on the Golf Channel. "We probably thought he was a better guy than he is. I would probably need to apologize to her and hope she uses a driver next time instead of the 3-iron. "It's a private thing, of course. But when you are the guy he is, the world's best athlete, you should think more before you do stuff. And maybe not 'just do it,' like Nike says."
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/golf/2009-12-02-tiger-woods-cover_N.htm

Jesper's anger is justified although his words could have been more tasteful. My immediate reaction to his comments were twofold:

a) Why didn't Jesper give Elin an education about what she was getting into? He had to know about the secret lives that numerous men in sports (including golf) have. Did he share the potential pitfalls with her? If not, someone should have as going from unknown 21 year old to the wife of the most famous athlete in the world is an extremely tough transition.

b) It's not Jesper's fault (as he claims above) for hooking Elin up with Tiger as all adults are responsible for their behavior and choices in life.

Why Tiger Made the "transgressions" Admission

In my opinion, there is one main reason why Tiger wrote so candidly on his website about his inappropriate behavior - his sponsors. Nike, Gatorade and numerous others pay Tiger approximately 90 million dollars a year and he obviously didn't want them going away. In addition, the sponsors didn't want to lose the worldwide appeal of Brand Tiger and the money he generates for them. They knew what a public relations nightmare it would be if Tiger stayed silent so they probably encouraged him to make a statement.

It's not surprising that all of his major sponsors strongly supported him during this chaotic period. The marketing of Tiger Woods will go on.

On Being a Role Model

Whether they like it or not, Tiger and all other athletes who our youth look up to and admire are role models. In my opinion, the former NBA player Charles Barkley had it wrong when he mentioned that he was not a role model.

The millions of youth who admire Tiger may be confused and/or disappointed about his situation. They will be watching to see if he cleans up his act and becomes the genuine family man that he now seems to want to be.

Even though I am no Tiger Woods (especially my golf game), I consider myself to be a role model to those I mentor or look to me for support/guidance. I take the role of "family man" and "responsible behavior" seriously as do some of my close friends. Temptations are plentiful for everyone from the common man to the rich athlete but it takes a real man to resist those temptations and do the right thing.

Yes, Tiger has lost a few stripes. That is the bad news.

The good news is that he has a new motivation (improving his family life and repairing his image) and that is troubling for the golfers who will soon be competing against him. Tiger always comes to play but when he is motivated, there is something special in his game and he tends to excel at the highest level.

Let's give him a break now as I am tired of the endless media attention and articles.

Here's a quote from the LA Times about Tiger:

Because Woods couldn't be more right. He's not a public official nor a high-minded preacher or cable TV public scold. What he does with his private life should be his own (pardon the pun) affair. Sure, he has zillion-dollar endorsement deals from the likes of Nike, but he earned those deals because he's the greatest golfer of his generation, not because he's a paragon of personal virtue. But in today's wildly intrusive media universe, being a winner isn't enough to protect your privacy.
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-bigpicture5-2009dec05,0,5932905.story

Everyone will be watching when Tiger plays his first golf tournament early next year. I know I will as he is one of the few athletes I make time to view when he appears on television.

The media attention will be enormous, the public interest will be high and Tiger's motivation will be enormously high. His fellow PGA golfers better be prepared!

I hope he gets his private life back on track especially for the youth who idolize and hold him in high regard. In the interim, I plan to enjoy his golf game and quest to win a record 19 Major Championships.

Happy Gswede Sunday!


3 Swedes enjoying the winter wonderland of a beautiful 2007 snowfall in Stockholm.

My 3 Favorite Mike's

There are many Michael's in this world although the three Mike's that shine brightest in my mind have inspired me musically and in the sport that has been the catalyst for my success, basketball. One has been a "Thriller" for me since the late 1970's while the other has flown in rarefied "Air" since he came to prominence in the early 1980's. The final Mike is less known yet has provided soothing and lyrical eloquence for Gswede throughout the last two decades.

First, imagine this scene:

It's my freshman year in college as a Division 1 basketball student-athlete. I have a free education due to a 4 year scholarship. One weekend I go out with some friends to the local disco in town. Pretty young ladies are everywhere and I am on the dance floor rocking the night away with one of them. The tune playing is Michael Jackson's Billie Jean. At that moment, I felt like I was floating on a cloud! I said to myself, "Ah,......this is the GOOD LIFE". I knew that the night, the rest of year and my final three years would be something special. And were they ever - I soaked up college like a sponge and enjoyed moments that were were absolutely delicious.

Micheal Jackson started it off for me that weekend and his music was ubiquitous during my four years as I vividly remember dancing at parties to "ABC" or other great Jackson 5/Michael tunes. In college, I don't recall an event or party that didn't feature at least one Jackson song.

His greatness is undisputed and I listened to his music frequently throughout the years. "Thriller" is an amazing album although I am partial to his first solo album, "Off the Wall". Also, if you haven't heard his childhood songs (i.e. With a Child's Heart or Ben), I implore you to do so as they are some of his most beautiful.

I doubt the world will ever see another Michael Jackson as he had it all - voice, dancing ability, sensitivity, fierceness, international appeal and work ethic. Unfortunately, he was laughed at during the majority of his adult years. Despite the unbelievable talent and joy he gave to the world, he never had the chance to sit back, relax and enjoy it due to the multitude of off-stage issues - some self inflicted, others perpetuated by the public and media. What a shame. At least now, he can rest in peace after his untimely death and we can focus solely on his memorable music.

Second, "AIR" Jordan otherwise known as Michael Jeffrey Jordan.

I played college basketball during the same period as Michael Jordan (MJ). My Vermont Catamounts competed against some top teams in the 1980's although we never had a chance to play North Carolina (NC), MJ's alma mater. People tend to forget how great MJ was in college. The system at NC was team-oriented and didn't always bode well for individuals to stand out thus many were surprised when they witnessed MJ in his first couple of years as a professional. I wasn't since I remembered his college days.

MJ was unbelievably dominant in his last two years of college. Some of the dazzling moves and dunks that we loved when he was with the Chicago Bulls were in plain sight during his college years if you were a fan of college basketball. Of course no one could have predicted how ferocious, intense and successful he would become after college. I was fortunate to witness many of his games in person when I worked at Madison Square Garden (MSG) as an account executive for sales. Whenever MJ played against the New York Knicks, the celebrities came out and we treated our best clients to a night of dinner, drinks and basketball. Interestingly, MJ and the Bulls often played on Mother's Day so many of the top executives couldn't make it thus we had better seats to choose from for our clients. I never missed a game when MJ was in town and he never disappointed. The energy and excitement in MSG (The World's Most Famous Arena) was unforgettable!

What made MJ so unique is that he played the game at such a high level both offensively and defensively and had no weaknesses. In my opinion, he is the greatest of all time due to the fact that I cannot possibly imagine how someone (past, present or future) could be better. Most of the greats of the NBA have a deficiency somewhere in their games - not MJ. In addition, his Chicago Bulls never went to a 7th game in any of their 6 NBA Finals which speaks volumes. Maybe most importantly, anytime I witnessed a game in person or on TV with MJ, there was never a doubt about who was the best player on the court. Never.

There are only two athletes I would always make time to watch. One is Tiger Woods and the other is Michael Jordan. As a passionate basketball fan, I am thankful to have witnessed such a remarkable athlete in my lifetime.

Finally, my favorite musician - Michael Franks:

If you know music well, you should have heard of Michael Franks. If not, consider this an introduction to a truly unique singer and songwriter. It's not easy to describe his music although I refer to it as a mixture of jazz and soul with an eloquent and calming quality. He's been making music since the 1970's and his songs have been recorded by Diane Krall, The Manhattan Transfer and Patti Labelle and he has worked with artists such as Patti Austin, Brenda Russell, David Sanborn, The Yellow Jackets and Jeff Lorber.

I learned about his music in 1986 after a visit to Wellesley college, an all female school. One night, I was visiting a friend and we were joined by 8 of her close friends when the subject of Michael Franks came up. They were surprised that I had never heard of him and I was surprised that this group of lovely black women knew his music so well. I was hooked after hearing a few songs!

What I enjoy most about him is the beauty of his lyrics and the smoothness of his voice. He studied literature in college and has put that talent to good use by creating memorable and unique songs for over thirty years. His music is not for everyone yet those who are fans tend to REALLY love his music! His appeal is diverse which surprised me when I went to a New York City concert in 1999. There were various colors in attendance along with young/old, upscale and middle class. The most shocking part of that evening were two brothers who looked liked they came straight out of a rap video yet knew every song and were giddy like school girls in their first row seats.

I have introduced my two year old son to his music, often singing it to him before he goes to bed. He has taken a liking to it and occasionally blurts out a few lines during the day. I believe the mellowness of Michael's music has helped to make my son a sound sleeper as I usually play a few songs for him before he drifts off to sleep. Recently, I began introducing other artists at bedtime so he won't overdose (like me) on Michael Frank's music. My wife is happy about that!

I've had the pleasure of seeing him in concert seven times and meeting him in Boston after one of his gigs. He's a gentle soul and very appreciative of his fans. For over twenty years, his music has never been far from my ears and it's been a powerful and soothing delight in a world that has become increasingly more complex and dangerous. For that, I am grateful.

My personal favorites are Tiger in the Rain, Mr. Blue, Tell me About It, String of Pearls, Hourglass, Nightmoves, The Lady Wants to Know, Rainy Night in Tokyo, Amazon, Dragonfly Summer, Coming to Life -- I'll stop now as the list is too long. If Michael Franks is new to you, start with Soulmate, Tell me About It or When I Give my Love to you - easy on the ears and good for beginners. If you like those, you can ease into a few of the aforementioned tunes.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede playing with clients and colleagues on the famous floor of Madison Square Garden.

2 Readers, 2 Articles - Their Comments

In March 2010, I will celebrate the two year anniversary of "Gswede Sunday". It has been a wonderful journey for me in two ways. First, being able to express my thoughts and knowledge on subjects close to my heart has helped to sustain me - (hopefully I have inspired a few souls along the way). Second, I have enjoyed hearing from you (my readers) whether it be a personal email, on Facebook, in person or a comment at the end of a weekly article. Your insight has frequently been poignant and often made me look at an issue in another light. Occasionally, it inspires ideas for future articles.

I wanted to share 2 reader's comments from 2 different articles I wrote. One is from my friend Manfred and the other is anonymous. I encourage my readers to not use their name if they don't feel comfortable as I would rather read an anonymous opinion than no opinion.

I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog and am grateful for you putting aside a part of your day for my words. Thank you.

I will keep writing if you will keep reading.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
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1) The comment below is from one of my most passionate friends. I found his words to be powerful and the perfect enhancement to my view of President Obama's Nobel Peace Prize. He's an interesting person and I enjoy hearing his opinion on numerous subject matters. Incidentally, he has kept in touch consistently since I moved to Sweden which means a lot to me.

The article he responded to is "Obama's Nobel - Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game". Here's a paragraph along with the link.

The love keeps coming President Obama's way - this time in the form of the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize from my neighbors in Norway. I had no idea that he was in serious contention for this prestigious honor until a good friend mentioned it to me. Why all the negativity around his winning the Prize? I can understand it from the right wing zealots in America along with the narrow minded Republicans who still believe former President Bush (#43) was a strong leader. What is troubling are those (some I suspect who voted for him) who have shown disdain, disgust and hate toward Obama for getting this award. I saw one American peace leader on TV say "he has done nothing".

Done Nothing? Please.

(http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/10/obamas-nobel-dont-hate-player-hate-game.html)

READER COMMENT:

George, thank you for writing this particular blog! This has become a great platform for debate and I hope to have one of my own soon.People, including those outside the US, quickly forget the state of international affairs when Bush was exiting the White House. Let me remind some of you:

1. The world hated everything American
2. The Axis of Evil statement was rejected by many
3. The Iranians were not to be spoken to
4. The Arabs, with two wars, in their own backyard, had enough of US aggression against them.
5. The Israelis were studying options on how to stop Iran militarily
6. NATO was seriously upsetting Russia with it’s talk of more strategic weapons
7. North Korea was threatening to fire a missile aimed at the US
8. The world was in the middle of an economic meltdown.
9. Global Warming was not being taken seriously
10. The MDG’s (Millenium Development Goals) were being ignored

In just a few months of being elected President Obama achieved the following:

1. Re-established the world’s good opinion by winning the election. This told the world that the US had rejected the Bush Doctrine on US international relations.
2. Obama gives a major speech in a Muslim capital, Cairo, where he admitted to the the failures of the US as well as call out the obligation of Arab nations to change their own rhetoric.
3. He unequivocally rebuked the notion that Iran must not be spoken to and immediately insisted that a US official begin negotiations to discuss their nuclear program.
4. The two wars are still being fought but the notion of torture and the humiliation of prisoners has been unequivocally rejected by this administration from day one.
5. The Israeli Prime Minister, Netanyahu, has since changed his own position on Iran and is in a wait and see mode.
6. US has ceased the production and installation of unnecessary weaponry in European borders with Russia in a time of peace. The Russians love their children too, remember!
7. North Korea did fire missiles but the US using better judgment decided to wait and avoid aggression on a nation clearly being held hostage by its dictator and is working through diplomacy with China. Cooler heads do prevail and save lives.
8. The US economy is tied to everybody’s paycheck around the world. The Obama administration allowed an unpopular Bush strategy take its course to avert a major catastrophic economic cataclysm that would have made the Great Depression seem like a hick-up.
9. Obama’s speech at the UN reassured the world that the US will take major steps in the fight against Global Warming. Bush never admitted to it devastating affects on the planet.
10. The speech at the UN also mentioned the need for the US to get involved in 8 MDG’s setout by the international community to battle such issues as poverty, child mortality and gender equality.

So, to all the nay-sayers and skeptics on whether or not Obama deserves the Nobel prize for peace, I will simply pose one question. Do you think that under a McCain/Palin administration, the world would have been a much peaceful place, and achieved any of what I mentioned above? I think we know the answer to that one.
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2) Earlier this year, I wrote about my 5 years in Sweden. Many found it uplifting and positive although some were frustrated, saddened and surprised about my candid description of living in Sweden as a foreigner. This particular comment hit a chord with me as it was different in tone and interpretation from the others. I would love to have a conversation with the person who wrote it.

In my opinion, she (confident about that) was a bit sensitive about some of the "immigrant realities" I spoke of although she (nor anyone else) disputed any negative or troubling aspect that I described about Sweden. It's obvious that the truth does hurt sometimes. When you read her comment, you might think that I am unhappy in Sweden.....nothing could be further from the truth.

Here's a paragraph from my article "5 Years in Sweden - No Place I'd Rather be...BUT". The link is below followed by her comment.

This past Thursday, I celebrated my 5th year in Sweden. As an adult, I have only lived in one other place for a longer period; New York City (NYC) where I spent a decade. I never compare any city to the Big Apple because it wouldn’t be fair as I can’t imagine a more fulfilling city! Living in Stockholm, Sweden has been frequently interesting, sometimes disappointing, often intriguing, at times wonderful and in many ways sour and sweet. As the title indicates, life is good...BUT; we will get to the “BUT” part later.

(http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/04/5-years-in-sweden-there-is-no-place-id.html)


READER COMMENT:

Anonymous said...

Interesting reading! For some reason I find myself getting frustrated when reading even if I agree with you on several levels.However I wonder how many American companys would hire someone who didn´t speak English no matter what experience or fantastic merits? I can certainly agree with many of your comments but maybe moving abroad to a different culture and country takes some extra effort no matter where you go. I think you are brave for trying, but maybe you need to find other influences and see other places in Sweden too. If you are lucky you will move to a neighborhood like my best friends who have dinner with there neighbors a few times a week and people spontantiously come over. There are opportunities out there to make great Swedish friends and aquantances, have interesting networks, enjoy time together, you just have to look. And also learn the language and I think you will find yourself less detached.

Good luck!



The countryside of Vermont, USA - My friend Linda took this lovely photo.

Don't Let Your SENSITIVITY Get In The Way

Over the past few months and throughout my career, I have come across situations in which normally tough minded individuals let their sensitivity get in the way of a productive discussion, doing their jobs or handling criticism. The encounters were never that demanding and had more to do with the fortitude of the individuals. Sometimes it was personal issues (i.e. depression, bad relationships or health issues) that caused the sensitivity while other times it was not wanting to deal with confrontation. On other occasions, it was being able to give criticism yet not being able to take criticism.

The game of life is not for the weak-hearted and when we are in it, we should be in the moment and engage fully in order to deal with the challenges of daily life - not shy away or become oversensitive.

Here's a moment I will never forget:

At a company retreat in the USA, employees were having a dialogue about issues inside and outside of the company. One person was known for her consistent criticism despite the issue being discussed. She was an effective employee although this characteristic didn't help to endear her to many on the team. During one session, she was in her typical mode when she got into a heated dialogue with one of our colleagues. Usually, we would let her vent her criticism and just shrug it off as we were used to it - some were even scared of her. Not this person.

This colleague gave her a strong dose of why she was wrong on a particular issue and fiercely criticized her for intervening with unwarranted criticism along with her constant complaints on other issues throughout the year. Everyone in the room was surprised at how tough the colleague was on her yet most thought it was good that she was the one on the receiving end. What happened next was a shock!

The women (middle-aged) started to cry and quickly ran out of the room. It was obvious to everyone that although she could dish out criticism, she couldn't take it when it was directed at her. I couldn't believe her reaction as all employees (including the CEO) were in the room. Later that day, my boss said to me, "If she expects to thrive in our business, she cannot be that sensitive". He was right. The colleague's criticism towards her was poignant, witty, sharp and truthful yet in no way should have caused her to act like a child. Her career in that organization was never the same after that memorable incident.

The aforementioned type of moment has been rare in my experience. The moments below are more typical:

Recently, two acquaintances became stressed from strong conversations directed at them. Both were in roles that had them talking to numerous people in order to get opinions, hear feedback and gain consensus. Some of the thoughts they heard were strong-willed, passionate and forcefully spoken which I admire as people should battle respectfully for issues that are important to them. These individuals should have been able to handle these thoughts and any conversation as it was their job to do so.

Both became too sensitive at times and it showed when they shied away from certain conversations and/or people as one was upset about a strong phone call while the other was tired of discussing a particular issue. In my opinion, they allowed their personal issues to play a major part in their sensitivity.

These were not troublesome or disrespectful talks and both should have handled them in a more professional way. In business or personal life, if one willingly takes on a responsible role (as the aforementioned twosome did), one must be able to deal with tough encounters or determined individuals while keeping the personal issues on the back-burner. Both individuals are usually mentally tough but they do show signs of being oversensitive from time to time which ultimately affects the progress of their tasks.

Fortitude is a quality that is crucial to success. One can get it from a variety of sources including but not limited to how one is raised, living in a big city or foreign country, participating in sports particularly team sports or wisdom from mentors. It is something that is sorely needed to navigate life's tricky slopes so one can thrive in the manner that they desire. Letting someone or something put a crack in that fortitude by being too sensitive about what I normally view as "small stuff" is not a productive way to live a life.

Those small cracks of sensitivity can develop into bigger cracks where one's daily life becomes consumed with little irritations instead of focusing on the more important and bigger life goals. It's especially vital for young people to embrace challenging moments and not become too sensitive as most have no idea how difficult life will be for them as they join the job force and settle into the world as an adult. The care-free and innocent teenage days will be a thing of the past when our youth step into the real world as a twenty-something particularly in this economic crises. They must be prepared for the obstacles that they will inevitably face.

I speak from experience as I used to let a multitude of small things and/or comments bother me in my early twenties yet I always knew deep inside that they were minor issues compared to the lofty challenges I expected to come my way. Since my mid twenties, I have focused solely on my life goals and dealt directly and quickly with the small and challenging moments of daily life. They don't fluster me or create a panic which frees my mind from distraction and helps me focus on moving my agenda forward and not backwards.

And don't forget that those who frequently show signs of oversensitivity often carry that over to relationships and love which can cause frustration, misguided choices or a life without a partner.

Remember the words of the late Luther Vandross from the song "My Sensitivity (Gets in the Way):

At times I don't believe that I can't control my heart

It skips a beat even before the Lovin' starts

I seem to fall in love with just the slightest touch

and even the little things begin to mean so much

And though I should hold out longer

Just to make sure things get stronger

Chorus:

You tell me that you love me

And before I'm sure you really do

You say you love me more and more each day

And that's when my sensitivity gets in the way

(http://www.metrolyrics.com/my-sensitivity-gets-in-the-way-lyrics-luther-vandross.html)

Focus on your fortitude at all times and keep it a a high level so that a productive life, a chance at love and/or happiness won't remain elusive.

Don't let your SENSITIVITY get in the way.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede's youth basketball program (http://www.gswede.blogspot.com/) from 2006. Our 6th year begins in May of 2010!

New York Yankees - Excellence on top of Excellence

One might think that because I hail from the state of Pennsylvania, I would have rooted for the Philadelphia Phillies in the 2009 World Series. Unfortunately, I never grew fond of the Major League Baseball teams in Philadelphia or Pittsburgh. Since I spent most of my adult years working in New York City (NYC), my heart will always remain in the Big Apple. During my decade of bliss in NYC, I had the pleasure of experiencing and rooting for a team (New York Yankees) that was solely focused on excellence - in baseball that means winning championships. Working at Madison Square Garden (MSG) in the mid 1990's gave me the opportunity to meet Yankees players, attend spring training in Florida, go to over 100 games, sell Yankee advertising and learn about one of the most fierce and determined baseball teams I have ever seen. From 1995-2000, the Yankees provided some of my most thrilling sports moments.

Earlier this year, I wrote about Joe Torre (former manager of the Yankees) and the joy that he brought to Manhattan when he managed teams that won 4 out of 5 World Series. The link is below. Joe currently manages the Los Angeles Dodgers and I was hoping they would reach the championship series this year but they lost to the Phillies. It would have been very intriguing to witness the Yankees play against their former coach - a man who made the Yankees shine for 12 glorious years. In that article, I wished the new manager, Joe Girardi well and he has made the champagne pop in the Big Apple. In only his second year, his team is wearing the championship ring!

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/01/joe-torre-thanks-for-nyc-memories.html

Selling print, signage and TV advertising at MSG allowed me to experience regular season and playoff Yankees games; most often with clients and occasionally with a group of friends. I was there for the final out of the 1996 World series and one of my most memorable sports moments was game one of the 1998 World Series. The Yankees came from behind to win that night and the highlight was a Tino Martinez home-run that sent the crowd into a frenzy of pure joy. I have never witnessed a moment like that in sports and probably never will. Beer was flying everywhere, people were screaming, everyone was hugging and the electricity in the stadium was almost majestic. My friends and the 50,000 plus fans didn't want that night to end!

Another perk of MSG was attending the Yankees Spring training in Florida before the season started. We took clients every year and introduced them to a few current and past players. During one trip in 1996, I met the great Reggie Jackson who obviously didn't want to be there as his attitude was sour. That was disappointing for me and many of our clients who remembered his past heroics with the Yankees. One refreshing moment was chatting with and listening to the owner, George Steinbrenner. He was affable and everyone enjoyed his company immensely. As sports fans witnessed from the media over the years, he is a tough minded and no nonsense owner who expects to win the World Series EVERY year. Some of our guests were surprised at his friendly and funny tone as he couldn't have been more pleasant with us. He has travelled a rocky road in managing the Yankees although his one constant is driving his players, coaches and executives to reach for the top every year. He expected and demanded excellence. George is older now and away from the day to day operations although I'm sure he was smiling as he watched his Yankees add another trophy to their previous 26.

There are quite a few teams in sports that could take a lesson from the New York Yankees. Far too many prominent sports organizations (no need to mention as sports fans know) lack the drive for excellence or they don't know how to go after it which is evident by mismanagement or losing year after year. Excellence is more than just demanding it. It requires an owner that knows how to put the proper executives in place in order to give his team the best chance to excel. Those executives then need to choose and develop the players best suited for winning. In addition, the choice of a coach is vital as the success of Joe Torre and now Joe Giradi exemplifies. Most importantly, everyone in the organization needs to know, believe and feel (sometimes daily) that winning is expected each and every year despite rebuilding years or obstacles that arise. Since the owner is the ultimate boss, that excellence drive should come from him or her.

George Steinbrenner (often called "The Boss") steered the Yankees ship sternly and successfully since the early 1970's. This 2009 championship wouldn't have been possible without his relentless pursuit and passion for winning. Hopefully, his son can carry the torch of excellence into the future and make his father proud.

Congratulations to the 2009 World Champion New York Yankees.

Happy Gswede Sunday!


Gswede with "Mr October", Reggie Jackson at Yankees Spring training in 1996.