A dear
friend recently sent those troubling words to me in a text message. He was the
skinny guy in high school; the one you thought would maintain that frame for
the rest of his life.
This message
about his own health took me back to the late 1990’s when I had more weight
issues than he did. It was horrible. I was careless with my food/sugar intake, and
didn’t exercise on a regular basis. It was hard, but I eventually got back on
track with professional help.
His
authenticity also made me recall the day we looked at a photo together with
another mutual friend; one I had just taken of him, me and that friend (a man
in insane shape). Approaching 50 at that
time, he said “I don’t look like you guys.” He was spot on and clearly a wake-up
call to improve his health.
Now in his
mid-50’s, he said that if he didn’t do something soon, he would be dead in 15
years.
We’ve always
been close and I knew that he was uncomfortable about his health. I sent him a
new weight scale to monitor his progress and encouraged him to eat healthier.
At 6’3 (191
cm) and 218 lbs (99k), we set a goal of getting down to 205 lbs (93k) in one
year. We communicated often and I encouraged him to take his mind and body to a
higher level. He struggled for months, shedding some weight and then putting it
on again. During that year, the highest amount of weight loss was 6 lbs (3k).
I would
occasionally send him a message saying only ‘205’ to nudge him to get back on
the program. He knew that my concern was coming from a place of compassion and
caring. I’ve always admired him as one of the most socially connected people I
know, someone who is comfortable in any setting - whether it be Harlem, Middle
America, Hollywood or a European city. He was raised well by his loving parents,
has great kids, a very kind and supportive wife, and a good extended family.
My concern
was that he could ruin it all with poor health, an issue I saw first-hand with
my father.
My dad rarely
exercised, ate poorly and was under a great deal of stress. At age 53, he
suffered a major heart attack. Fortunately, he survived and went on to live 20
more fairly stable years. I didn’t want one of my best friends to suffer the
same fate.
I continued
to encourage him to do something - anything - to change his way of life and lose weight. Isn’t that
what friends are for? It seemed as though he listened each and every time but
the needle didn’t move much until last week.
This spring,
I‘ve made a few improvements to my own health with the news of the
pandemic in mind and sent him a short message to share.
--
At 86.4k (190 lbs.) two weeks ago, down from my usual 89k (196 lbs.) for 7+ years. I started eating more sensibly at the start of Covid19.
Just added this new thing two weeks ago also. No eating after dinner. I usually have something for dessert but now the kitchen is CLOSED.
Been wanting to do it (nothing after dinner) for years but never
tried. That alone should get me to to 84k Or 185 lbs. - my high school
weight....which is my goal.
Feel much better already and my body has changed as well.
You?
--
His immediate response surprised and convinced me that this could
be another wake-up call:
--
I really am going to
try. I want to and have had issues. My red blood cell count has been high for 4
years. Recently - 4 times had blood tests and some abdominal tests. Good news,
I am clean. A few more tests to go but I may have a sleep disorder so I am
doing a sleep study.
I do not like my
habits. I sleep only 5 hrs a night and eat poorly.
I am hovering at 217
(99 k) now and I feel like 250 (113k)… really need to motivate myself.
I am ready to make a
move and stop excuses. You got me - you are doing way better.
I hope to fix the
dad body now. If I don't, I will be dead in 15 yrs... I wish you were here to
motivate me.
(Our mutual friend)
is my hero. That guy doesn't stop and I have no idea where he gets the time and
his energy.
--
Was
this his epiphany? I hope so and maybe the whirlwind of news around Covid19
helped in this regard. Being overweight is one of many underlying factors that
can make you more susceptible to the virus and make it more difficult to fight
it.
We’re
about the same height but he is 26 lbs. (12k) heavier. Being his weight 20
years ago for a few months was a bad memory; enjoying too much of the ‘good
life’ in Manhattan, and the pounds snuck up on me. I had one pair of pants that
fit my waist.
I’ll
never forget the look in my doctor’s eyes back then. “You look bad George, and you
have to do something about it.” Her words left no doubt that she
genuinely cared about me. She suggested a sensible yet drastic plan and I lost
the weight in 45 days.
I
made a positive lifestyle change that day and never looked back. My journey on
the ‘Health is Wealth’ path to maintain and/or enhance it is one of my top
priorities.
The
part of my friend’s text that was chilling for me to read was “If I don’t, I
will be dead in 15 years.”
I
worry that if he continues on the same path of bad sleep, poor eating and lack
of movement, other health issues could creep into the picture. If he’s lucky,
he could live past 70 like my father. It won’t be easy and might be the toughest challenge of his life thus
far, but I’m happy to know that he has at least seen the light.
The
proverbial ball is in his court.
Will
he continue to dribble and dribble and dribble with the same lifestyle?
Or
will he be courageous and take that first jump shot which is needed to start
the process of healthier living?
Maybe
he will be bold and step it up with a few 3 point shots in order to get to that
205 weight or lower.
A
few days ago, I sent him this message:
--
I’m
inspired by your heartfelt message and self-awareness. You are truly blessed my
friend and it would be awful to have all of that taken away by the way you are
leading your life. You already took the first step of acknowledgement.
Now
go for it in the same way you have led your life, maintained a strong marriage,
raised your terrific children and built your vast friendships, including a
fantastic one with me. If you do that, you will win the health race.
I’m
here to help in any way I can, but as you know, it’s all up to you.
Love,
George
--
It’s
his choice. It’s his time.
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