I’ve seen and experienced random acts of kindness throughout my
years, although one shines brighter than most, as it was both unexpected and enjoyable.
Generosity with good intentions would usually be welcomed, yet this one almost didn’t
happen.
It was the mid 1980's and my basketball team from the University
of Vermont had just suffered another disappointing loss at Yale. After the
game, a parent from Yale asked our head coach if he and his son could treat a few
of our players to dinner. It was an extremely generous offer, a no-brainer in
every sense of the word, yet our coach refused. What happened next not only
changed the course of the evening, it would be one of the most transformative
events of my life.
That parent was Earl Graves, Sr.
I will never forget how he confronted our coach for insulting him
that day; the swift way in which he pulled him aside to discuss the matter in
private. He kept his composure and never raised his voice but the stern look on
his face spoke volumes. Whatever Earl Graves, Sr. said at that moment prompted
our coach to accept his offer immediately.
After leaving Yale’s campus, three of my teammates and I
accompanied him to his Rolls Royce which seemed to almost float through New
Haven. We were greeted by his son, Earl Jr. (a.k.a. ‘Butch’ – then Yale’s star
player) who opened the door of a beautiful home and introduced us to a few
close friends. The vibe was magnificent, and soon we were enjoying a fine
spread of delicious soul food. Any thoughts of our earlier loss were firmly in
the back of our minds and the night was filled with laughter, new connections
and quality conversation.
Years later, while working in NYC, I came to know several people
who were clients of Earl Sr. One was particularly impressed by his negotiating
skills and his tenacity for closing a deal. “George, he just wouldn’t give up,”
he told me once during a round of golf.
Although my encounter with Earl Sr. was
brief, I remember the way he fiercely compelled our coach to let me and my
teammates join him that evening, something that was otherwise
not permitted after a game on the road. Now I realize why the man we only knew
as Butch’s father made such an impression: he made things happen.
Earl Graves, Sr. owned a successful publishing company and was one
of the top African-American business leaders. He was chairman and CEO of
PepsiCo’s operations in Washington, DC. and General Partner at one of
their bottling
franchise companies
in South Africa. And
before his phenomenal career in business, a much younger Earl Graves earned a
B.A. degree in Economics, served a couple of years in the Army and was an
administrative assistant to none other than Senator Robert F. Kennedy.
His relentless nature that day after his son’s game at Yale
stayed with me, although at the time I couldn’t fully realize its impact. I’ve
used it as inspiration when facing a challenging customer or dealing with
obstacle after obstacle on a tough sale.
Early in my sales career, I was fortunate to work with two
salesmen who also displayed the same kind of
relentlessness. Watching them in sales calls was enlightening, as they were
zealous in going after and closing deals. I saw a lot of Earl Sr. in those two
men.
It was a perfect trifecta of learning – powerfully at Yale and more
nuanced with two of the best salespeople I’ve worked with. That attitude of
what I like to call ‘persuasive persistence’ proved invaluable in my sales career.
I met Earl Sr. again in 1996 at one of our company events. One of
the highlights of working for the world’s most famous arena, Madison Square
Garden, was connecting with so many inspiring people like Earl Graves. I reminded
him about the game and his generosity a decade earlier, thinking he might
recall our first encounter. He said, "George, I can't even remember what I
did yesterday", and we both laughed. I thanked him once again and conveyed
how much I appreciated him taking the time to care.
Earl Graves Sr. died last week. He was 85.
With prominent individuals, one doesn't usually hear about the way
in which they positively impact others. That dinner for us may have been normal
for him or a ‘small thing’ in his life but it was a profound moment in the eye
of a young athlete and a cherished memory.
My hope is that more of us (including those blessed with influence
and fortune), take the time to give in much the same way he touched our
lives.
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| Earl Graves Sr. |
