We had a fantastic weekend with friends in Hakuba, Japan in late February – our first ski vacation as a family. I felt nothing but gratitude throughout, as the scenery, snow, comradery and sun was majestic at times. The nearby city of Nagano was the host of The 1998 Winter Olympics.
Our children learned to ski
(daughter) and snowboard (son) in 2 days. My wife hadn’t been on a snowy
mountain in over two decades, although she picked it up again rather easily. As
a beginner, I wasn't nearly as good as my son but could confidently snowboard
down the hill (including a Red run) after one private lesson and a few days on
my own.
The privilege and joy of being on
the Japanese Alps brought back memories of when I gently burst a teenager’s privilege
bubble after he said to me - without me asking – “I'm a great skier”. He’s a good kid and I like him, yet it
never fails to concern me when someone proclaims greatness out of the blue.
Since I knew about his ‘below
average to average’ history in non-snow sports and had seen him in action, I let
him know that most able-bodied youth can learn to ski within a few days. He was
surprised until I asked him this question:
"Tell me another major sport
where you can learn to do it competently as a beginner in a day or
two?"
He had no answer.
I told him that one can't do it in
basketball, golf, baseball, swimming, cycling, hockey, soccer, cricket, tennis,
athletics or American football. For beginners, those sports take much more time
just to feel confident on a pitch, court, field, course… or in an arena.
I mentioned that to be a college or
professional skier (or high-level in any major sport) is impressive, with most
considering it a great achievement, and that maybe he would fall into that category
one day. I didn’t want to discourage him from dreaming. Judging from his lack
of athletic ability though, I doubt that he could be great in any major sport.
He seemed to be in that privilege
bubble of thinking that he was a special skier, unaware of the family finances
that allowed him to be on the slopes, along with not realizing that he wasn’t particularly
good in other sports. Why is it that far too many youth (and often their
parents) have an inflated opinion of their athletic prowess? If he was a better
athlete, I would have been more inclined to believe his claim of greatness. For
some, skiing can give the illusion of significant athletic accomplishment.
His confidence is off the charts
(which will serve him well in life), not unlike my own 10 year-old son, who not
only thinks he can do most sports well, but was making declarations about being
a very good snowboarder before he ever put two feet on one. I also have to
bring him down to earth now and then.
During our 5 days in Hakuba, I saw
two young men who looked like they had been snowboarding for years. Impressed
at their skills and after chatting with one for a few minutes, I found out that
they were only beginners – having snowboarded for 2 days. I wished that the
aforementioned teenager and my son could have witnessed this twosome.
Most of those I know who ski or
snowboard do it well, although interestingly, a good portion don't perform
capably or have interest in any other sports. If it wasn't for the privilege of
their yearly trips to the mountains, they wouldn't have a sports rack to hang
their hat on - not unlike this young man. In his defense, he was probably
elated to find a sport he was actually good at, thus the abundance of
overconfidence.
My hope is that I opened his eyes
with a small dose of reality, including (and maybe most importantly) how we are
amongst the fortunate few in our world who have the luxury to ski. He knows
about my college basketball background so he seemed to respect my words.
Wealth and/or access to opportunity
(like the slopes) can be a blessing, as it gives many youth a strong belief in
their abilities, which is useful in getting jobs, networking effectively and
advancing in the business world, but it can be detrimental as well, when they
think that they are better than they actually are due to the privilege of
having access to things that most don’t.
This kind of privilege can manifest
in the worst way when a child grows up in a thriving family business, gets
his/her choice of job and then proceeds to not only be underwhelming, but in
some cases harm the brand that was so carefully built.
In the National Basketball
Association (NBA), there is at least one child of privilege (Jim Buss) who got
a high profile management job from a father (NBA Lakers owner Jerry Buss) who
was not only ahead of his time, but also a diligent and smart visionary. I
often wonder how he couldn’t see that his son was ill-equipped to follow in his
flourishing footsteps. As EVP of Basketball Operations, Buss was recently fired
after years of dismal results. As a die-hard Los Angeles Lakers fan, I’m
thrilled that we now have the chance to rise again.
Privilege and the confidence that
comes with it can be a wonderful thing, as long as the picture of who people
are or what they can become is not lost in a distorted reality.
Guess that is where strong, competent
and wise parenting comes in.
Happy Gswede Sunday!
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| Hakuba, Japan |
