A Toast to THE GOOD LIFE

Above - Enjoying the beach, Below - Father and son watching the birds.

Our July holiday in Skåne (southern Sweden) was glorious. The weather doesn't always cooperate in summer but this year it did.

Being 45 feet (15 meters) away from the sea, there is nothing better than hearing the waves caress the night air as you drift off to sleep. Once awake, breakfast outside followed by the the beach or visiting friends. Late afternoon begins the family or friend dinners in the evening sun. A sprinkling of golf, running, tennis, writing and a lot of lounging makes the holiday complete.

My longtime friend from Boston visited with his Swedish wife and child. We had a wonderful week and their daughter was in heaven playing in the sea, exploring nature and splashing in the kids pool! The GOOD LIFE as he called it. Indeed.

My son's happiness in this lovely part of Sweden was infectious. He has grown up in a variety of ways with all the new nature experiences, family, friends, the sea and fabulous weather. It was a joy for my wife and I to witness.

Below are 15 pictures throughout the 3 weeks. As you continue down the page, you will see more photos in three scenes;

GOOD LIFE, Scene 1 - Boston and Stockholm friends together

GOOD LIFE, Scene 2 - Friends and Family from the first two weeks

GOOD LIFE, Scene 3 - Visiting friends on Donsö, Sweden (small island of 1200 in the west)

Since a picture speaks louder than words there is no need to elucidate further.

A toast to The GOOD LIFE.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

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My son after a quick dip in the sea

My wife loves the outdoors

Gswede and son

Brother-in-law reading to my son

The beauty from the house in the south of Sweden

Our Stockholm friend with her 3 month old daughter

A summer walk to dinner with our friends from Boston

Bubbles fill my son with joy!

Enjoying an afternoon and evening at the summer house of our Stockholm friends in the south of Sweden. 4 couples (Stockholm and Boston) and a few friends spent the week together

Swedish friend (lives in Boston) with her daughter and playmate.

Aunt, Father in Law and girlfriend taking us out for a family dinner at the local restaurant. It has become a summer tradition

My son helping sister-in-law peel some potatoes for the family dinner

Brother-in-Law after one of his favorite activities

Returning from a day boating excursion in Donsö, Sweden. We were tired.

Our son really enjoyed the children of our Swedish friends in Donsö, Sweden

Good Life, Scene 1 - Friends from Stockholm and Boston, MA gathered for 1 week in the south of Sweden. Great weather, dinners together outside and kids in the sea/pool. A lovely week.

Good Life, Scene 2 - A couple of weeks in the south of Sweden with family/friends from the area and USA.

Good Life, Scene 3 - 2 days in Donsö, Sweden (small island of 1200 on the west coast) with Swedish friends that lived in NYC until 2004.

Boston Celtics – Misunderstood in a City that Frequently Sleeps

Watching the 2008 NBA Finals between the Boston Celtics and the Los Angelas Lakers, it never occurred to me that Boston had 12 black players and a black coach.

Boston is consistently talked about when it comes to race relations especially in the area of sports. In numerous conversations personally and heard, the city has been accused of being anti-black in life and sports.

I lived in Boston in the late 80’s and the experience was uninspiring except for the fact that I met three of my dearest friends there along with their network over time. I have rarely heard anyone speak favorably of Boston other than those who grew up there and a handful of foreigners. If New York is the city that Never sleeps, Boston is a city that Frequently sleeps.

Despite Boston's blandness, its diverse yet segregated population, and lack of sizzle, I am grateful for the experience primarily because I wouldn’t have met my Swedish wife as one of those aforementioned friends introduced us!

I was treated well and experienced no overt racism in my almost 4 years although I did notice the underlying tension regarding interracial dating. At times, that tension was intense.

Being a former Division 1 basketball player, I have always respected Red Auerbach and known about his accomplishments. There is a lack of education regarding Red and the Celtic organization and this sports city suffers for it.

Reading the words below (click on link for full story) from Jason Whitlock’s wonderful article should open a few eyes.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/8262606

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What gets us through the good times and the bad times are our leaders, the men and women wise enough, bold enough and confident enough to recognize our differences, conceptualize our potential and act without fear of failure.

Because of Auerbach, the Celtics are one of America's most racially liberated institutions. Because Auerbach's thinking and approach were so ahead of their time, the Celtics are still to this day completely misunderstood.

Some of us still foolishly believe the franchise is anti-black solely because the Larry Bird teams were primarily white during an era when black players dominated the league.

The truth is the Bird teams were primarily white because it was the right thing to do at the time.

No different than Boston drafting the first African-American player in 1950.

No different than the Celtics starting the NBA's first all-black lineup in 1964.

No different than Bill Russell being the NBA's first African-American head coach.

A free mind is such a beautiful thing. You can say and do things others can't imagine.

Long before it was popular, Auerbach supported his once-in-a-lifetime center with a roster that made it easy for Bill Russell to lead and command most of the attention.

When Larry Bird came along, Auerbach did the exact same thing, stocking the Boston roster with players who easily fit into an environment Bird enjoyed.

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I think Larry Bird aggravated souls because he was so good along with being a white man in a predominately black NBA. It was a tough pill for many to swallow so they resorted to petty dislike and jealousy.

I have often heard that “Larry Bird is not or was not that good”.

Uneducated and complete Nonsense!

White, Black, Red or Purple, Larry Bird was a GREAT player. Anyone who thinks otherwise doesn’t know basketball. He understood the game, had great leadership qualities, won 3 rings and always worked hard. Magic Johnson talked about Bird being the player that he feared the most. That alone should be enough to end any negativity about Bird’s talent.

Could I live in Boston again?

Probably not but it does have many positives for my family including architectural beauty, Martha’s Vineyard, fantastic sports (Red Sox/Patriots/Celtics – does it get any better?) and a few close friends.

Having been back to Boston often in the last 18 years, the needed "city awakening" was never apparent to me although in 2006 Massachusetts did elect its first black Governor, Deval Patrick; one small step in the right direction. If living in the city of Boston were more like the racially liberated history of the Celtics, it would be one of the most exciting places to live and would sparkle immensely! I hope it gets there one day.

I was happy for the Celtics because they won an NBA title in 1 year (with a new roster) which is extremely difficult to do. Red was a big part of title # 17 and a man whose legacy should be understood not misunderstood.

Happy Gswede Sunday!


Gswede with a young Rick Fox (left) at a Boston sports event in the early 90's - His best years were spent after his tenure as a Celtic, winning 3 NBA titles with the Los Angelas Lakers.

Are you making POWER MOVES?

Talking to a friend after a thrilling basketball game at Madison Square Garden in 1996, I said to him, “Are you making POWER MOVES”.

He laughed and didn’t quite know what to make of the question. I was at the height of my career, successfully working for Madison Square Garden (the world’s most famous arena). He was also shining brightly with finance as an American in Europe so he probably wondered why I was asking such a question.

I guess somewhere in my mind I knew that he wasn’t making the right power moves especially since he was planning a move to NYC, a move never to be taken lightly! As it turns out, I was right.

What are POWER MOVES?

Moves that one makes in life to advance personal and business goals, increase quality of life, help others, inspire and be a productive citizen / positive family person. The moves must be primarily positive and advance the aforementioned areas forward more often than not. In ANY situation, POWER MOVES should be top of mind.

·Advance Goals - Everyone should have career and personal goals. If you don’t how do you know what you want or where to go in life? These goals should be written down and referred to often. Every year, you should be meeting and/or improving your goals and when necessary, targeting new ones. Don’t be afraid to DREAM about what you want in life!

·Increase Quality of Life – This entails knowing what type of life you want to have (can be a goal) and taking the proper steps to obtain it. Maybe you want to live in a nicer house or move to a new city. Or find a quality relationship? Whatever you desire, you should consistently move toward it. And remember, increasing the quality of life does not have to mean financial although money can often help in this area. Volunteering is one of the best ways to improve life and it costs very little.

·Help Others – We should all know what this means but sadly many don’t even care about it. The community, various charities, your country and the world need the help of people willing to give of their time and/or money. If you don’t know what to do or how to make an impact, email me or ask someone you know that helps others.

A great American Civil Rights leader said it best with this quote:

Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love

--Martin Luther King, Jr.

·Inspire – Any interesting, memorable or inpactful person that I have met always inspired me. Some of the qualities they possess include intellect, entrepreneurship, humor, caring for others, passion, focus, ambition, courage, humbleness, strength, tenderness, energy and thought provoking. At the very least, work on being interesting as that can usually take one quite far in life!

·Productive Citizen – In order to be a productive citizen one must obviously abide by the country law along with impacting your community and other parts of the world in a positive fashion.

·Positive Family Person – One that respects the teachings and values of their parents by the way they live their life. If raised improperly, one must work to improve as a person so as to be ready to raise a quality family of his/her own.

If one adheres to the values of honesty, integrity, trust and loyalty, being a productive citizen/positive family person should come easily.

My friend did make that move to NYC but for the past decade, he has failed to make POWER MOVES so his time in the Big Apple has been full of struggles but powerful in life lessons.

One reason he didn’t blossom was the lack of preparation in coming to what I consider the best city in the world. He knew the phrase, “If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere” but neglected to do his homework.

He thought he could easily get a job in finance but didn’t realize that success in Madrid is not that impressive when trying to get a position in the world's financial capital, Manhattan. Getting a job or making strong connections beforehand would have been beneficial.

Another reason is once he arrived in NYC, he didn’t work like a dog to network and build his brand. Networking is invaluable in this city and he should have known that especially with many friends living there to confide in. Today, 11 years later, I still don’t think he is networking effectively.

Finally, he was offered a job not long after he moved at what would become and still is a top internet company. Would you believe me if I told you that he turned it down? He did. Being that he couldn't find a good position in finance and had no job, he should have taken that opportunity. It was a way to pay the bills while still pursuing his dream.

He is one of the people I LIKE the most but he hasn’t inspired me in the way I know he is capable of. He is a diamond in the rough and he needs to bloom before it is too late. Maybe he should move out of Manhattan? I have told him to consider that many times over the years. Now may be a good moment. After long years without success, a new venue could be fruitful.

I have recently expanded the POWER MOVES questioning and recently asked a close friend in Stockholm, “Are you making POWER MOVES or powerless moves?

This time, there was no need to clarify the question.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

PS
Even though Gswede Sunday was 4 days late, it is NEVER a dollar short. I was busy making POWER MOVES during the beginning of my vacation and had no access to a computer.


One of the best POWER MOVES I have made - Gswede volunteering in the program "Everybody Wins" (reading to a child weekly) in NYC. This picture from the mid 90's speaks volumes!

Swedish Midsummer - A lovely tradition

Swedish Twins (daughters of host) before Midsummer festivities

Last Friday, my family celebrated Midsummer in Sweden. It was a beautiful day with a 20C (70F) temperature. It is one of my favorite times of the year although the weather doesn't always cooperate. In 2004, we couldn't even leave the house as it rained the entire day!

What I love about the tradition is the great food (herring), drinks (shots of snaps) picking flowers, singing/dancing and spending quality time with family and good friends. It seems to be a moment where people embrace the beauty of nature and forget (if only temporarily) about the struggles of life.

In addition, you can find many of these celebrations in America where Swedes are plentiful like Minnesota or Manhattan.

If you ever get a chance to experience Sweden in late June, make sure to go to one of the thousands of celebrations in this vast county.

Below is some insight about Midsummer from The Local (Swedish news in English). You can click on the link for the full article.

Enjoy your summer! When possible, remember to carpool or take a bus/train during you summer vacation as this will help the environment immensely.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

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Midsommar is just about as Swedish as it gets. Rain, shine, snow or full blown blizzard, Swedes always herald the beauty of Swedish nature even if they need to huddle shivering under dripping tree branches. Nothing gets between a Swede and her exuberance in the glory of Sweden a-grow in green.

The place to find these nature loving Swedes is anywhere but in the city. Swedes head to their holiday homes or cast anchor and sail to a crowded cove. As a result, the streets are eerily empty, and if you have the rare experience of driving to the big city and searching for that normally elusive parking spot, you are in for a once-a-year opportunity of having the pick of the prime spots—all of them.

Historically, Midsommar is the celebration of the summer solstice. In true Swedish pragmatic tradition, Midsummer’s Day is these days marked on the Saturday that falls between 20 and 26 June. As with all Swedish tradition, it’s the eve that brings on the festivities.(http://www.thelocal.se/4134/20060621/)

Our small Midsummer celebration

Honor your Father, Today and Everyday

On this American Father's Day (November in Sweden), thoughts of fatherhood are swirling in my head.

--- I will never forget the speech that a dear friend gave in Pennsylvania at the funeral of his father. It was eloquent, funny and moving. His words helped me tremendously when only a few years later I was in the same position. He continues to inspire me.

--- Many of my friends have had children from 2005 -2008 and most of them are good fathers (not all unfortunately). Those who do not take fatherhood seriously tend not to spend enough time with their kids and/or don't put the child's best interests first. They run life on their terms and the kids have to fit in. What a shame.

--- A childhood friend in Boston has inspired me as a person and as a father. His young son has a serious illness that will take several years to cure although he is doing better now. I think of his entire family often. They have overcome some huge obstacles over the years. I cannot imagine the pain of seeing one's precious child experiencing such an ordeal.

-- Two of my friends in Sweden take the father role seriously. One has a daughter that is wise beyond her years. On my first day of substitute teaching a few years ago, she helped me organize and maintain composure in the classroom. She was 9 years old! The second speaks of his daughter in such a loving and passionate way. I have never heard someone show such emotion when talking about a child.

--- The best boss I ever had is a wonderful father. We have had some enriching conversations throughout the years. If you were to see him with his two daughters, there would be no doubt in your mind about how he is as a father. He has inspired me from the moment we met.

--- In late 2005, during the Xmas holidays, one of my childhood friends (and loving father of 3) sent me an email about his father being sick. It was like a dagger to the heart as I truly felt for him especially since I had recently lost my father. His father died not long after his message to me. What I loved about his father was the pure joy and pleasant nature he exuded! He was a kind and decent man and I always felt better after being in his presence.

--- Since an early age, I have had the privilege of spending time with and learning from one of my mother's cousins (like an uncle to me). He consistently looked out for me in my career and his success in business and life was invaluable to witness and hear about. His three lovely daughters are very fortunate to have him as their father which I am sure they know.

--- My first basketball coach has been like a father to me. Without his care and teaching, I would have never reached the Division 1 heights in college basketball. In addition, his life lessons during my teenage years were very helpful. It brought me sincere joy to bring him over to Sweden from 2005-2007 to inspire youth utilizing basketball as a tool.

--- My college basketball teammate is one of my dearest friends and seeing him around his kids has been refreshing for me. I learned a lot from him before I had children regarding the tough task of raising kids. He was always frank with me and didn't sugarcoat his words which I appreciated. I admire the father and man that he is.

--- One of my most interesting friends in NYC lost his father last year. I only met him once but it was memorable. He was smart, cool and very hip for being in his 70's. Everyone enjoyed his company on that summer Manhattan night.

--- My high school basketball coach died in March 2007. He was instrumental in preparing me for the rigors of college basketball. He was 54 years old and had two sons. After speaking to him in January of that year, he gave me some fatherly advice. He said "don't push your son into sports if it is not something that he wants to do". Important words for any father to hear.

--- The godfather of my son is a gentleman that I have known less than 5 years although it feels like I have known him for 20 years. He is a good father and godfather and someone I always enjoy being around. He has 3 boys so his insight and candidness about fatherhood have been important to hear.

-- My father had a stroke in 2003. The last time he was conscious was on Father's Day 2005 when my mother and cousin read a letter to him that I wrote about fatherhood. I got choked up hearing about his reaction as I was in Belgrade, Serbia at the time. He died in July 2005. He was a good man and good father. As the years go by, I realize how much I learned from him and how comforting it was hearing his voice.

Writing to a few friends this morning, I conveyed that we must all continue to be be strong, value oriented, disciplined and loving fathers that spend as much time with our kids as possible. In addition, our children's best interests and well being should always be at the top of our agendas.

We can even learn from the far too many absent and non-caring fathers that surround us. I witnessed quite a few growing up and I instantly knew that I didn't want to be like them.

It is important to have one or several father figures or mentors in your life. If you do, talk to them, observe them and learn from them before and after you have children. If you don't, be diligent in finding one because life can be tough without the wise counsel and care of people outside of mom and dad.

My mentors continue to inspire and benefit me.

Honor your father on this day and everyday. The best way to do that is by being a good man, a good father, a good husband, helping others and continuing to evolve as a person.

One never knows how long our father's or mother's will be around.

Happy Father's Day and Gswede Sunday!
Gswede and many good fathers celebrating during my wedding brunch. One of my wife's best friends (and new mother) was having a good time along with us!

Welcome to Swedish Paradise

Sweden's National Day was Friday June 6. My family was invited to a summer house outside of Stockholm.

Since the weather has been warm and delightful for weeks, we were happy to embrace the Swedish archipelago for a few days. After an easy drive north to a small ferry, we reached our island destination in 75 minutes. The final part of our journey was a short and relaxing motorboat ride to the house.

Our host greeted us with "Welcome to Swedish Paradise". Her words beautifully described the scenery. The house is a typical Swedish summer home, located on the water in a private cul-de- sac of calm atmosphere. (see photo below)

It was a magnificent weekend full of good food, kids playing around the house/in the water, perfect weather, stimulating conversation and sleep as deep and comfortable as you can imagine. "A Thing of Beauty" as the poet John Keats would say.

Take that trip to Stockholm, Sweden if you have never been and make sure to visit at least one of the lovely places in the vast archipelago. (http://www.thelocal.se/travel/)

When the weather cooperates, it is one of the most beautiful places in the world.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
----- A typical Swedish summer home - my son had a blast!

The Good Life

Life as an Expat in Sweden

I was reading a British newspaper a few months back when I came across an article about an expat living in France.

He clearly enjoyed his French life but made it abundantly clear it was not an easy road.

The 3 stages of living abroad were described in this way:

1) Joyful Honeymoon

2) Inevitable Discontentment

3) Things Balancing out

As an American living abroad, I agree with his assessment but I prefer to call stage 2 disappointment instead of discontentment. After 4 years, my life has balanced out.

One has to be bold to live in a foreign country as it can be an uncomfortable or difficult road. I have friends in Sweden that probably shouldn't be here since they are not positive about the experience and constantly complain. The years just pass them by with no real focus.

The expat from France also indicated that if the flow is not similar to his 3 stages, one must think about change. Indeed. Some of those aforementioned friends should consider life outside of Sweden.

To me, it has been an fascinating and rewarding experience. Most days are very interesting.

If I have the chance to do it again, I wouldn't hesitate.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
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As an ExPat, it is important to give back to the community - The 2nd year (2006) of my "American Basketball Coach in Sweden" program.