An Act of Kindness

I’ve seen and experienced random acts of kindness throughout my years, although one shines brighter than most, as it was both unexpected and enjoyable. Generosity with good intentions would usually be welcomed, yet this one almost didn’t happen.

It was the mid 1980's and my basketball team from the University of Vermont had just suffered another disappointing loss at Yale. After the game, a parent from Yale asked our head coach if he and his son could treat a few of our players to dinner. It was an extremely generous offer, a no-brainer in every sense of the word, yet our coach refused. What happened next not only changed the course of the evening, it would be one of the most transformative events of my life.

That parent was Earl Graves, Sr.

I will never forget how he confronted our coach for insulting him that day; the swift way in which he pulled him aside to discuss the matter in private. He kept his composure and never raised his voice but the stern look on his face spoke volumes. Whatever Earl Graves, Sr. said at that moment prompted our coach to accept his offer immediately.

After leaving Yale’s campus, three of my teammates and I accompanied him to his Rolls Royce which seemed to almost float through New Haven. We were greeted by his son, Earl Jr. (a.k.a. ‘Butch’ – then Yale’s star player) who opened the door of a beautiful home and introduced us to a few close friends. The vibe was magnificent, and soon we were enjoying a fine spread of delicious soul food. Any thoughts of our earlier loss were firmly in the back of our minds and the night was filled with laughter, new connections and quality conversation.

Years later, while working in NYC, I came to know several people who were clients of Earl Sr. One was particularly impressed by his negotiating skills and his tenacity for closing a deal. “George, he just wouldn’t give up,” he told me once during a round of golf. 

Although my encounter with Earl Sr. was brief, I remember the way he fiercely compelled our coach to let me and my teammates join him that evening, something that was otherwise not permitted after a game on the road. Now I realize why the man we only knew as Butch’s father made such an impression: he made things happen.

Earl Graves, Sr. owned a successful publishing company and was one of the top African-American business leaders. He was chairman and CEO of PepsiCo’s operations in Washington, DC. and General Partner at one of their bottling franchise companies in South Africa. And before his phenomenal career in business, a much younger Earl Graves earned a B.A. degree in Economics, served a couple of years in the Army and was an administrative assistant to none other than Senator Robert F. Kennedy.

(Earl G. Graves Sr. - A Voice for Black Entrepreneurs)

His relentless nature that day after his son’s game at Yale stayed with me, although at the time I couldn’t fully realize its impact. I’ve used it as inspiration when facing a challenging customer or dealing with obstacle after obstacle on a tough sale.

Early in my sales career, I was fortunate to work with two salesmen who also displayed the same kind of relentlessness. Watching them in sales calls was enlightening, as they were zealous in going after and closing deals. I saw a lot of Earl Sr. in those two men.

(2 Salesmen - Simply the Best)

It was a perfect trifecta of learning – powerfully at Yale and more nuanced with two of the best salespeople I’ve worked with. That attitude of what I like to call ‘persuasive persistence’ proved invaluable in my sales career.

I met Earl Sr. again in 1996 at one of our company events. One of the highlights of working for the world’s most famous arena, Madison Square Garden, was connecting with so many inspiring people like Earl Graves. I reminded him about the game and his generosity a decade earlier, thinking he might recall our first encounter. He said, "George, I can't even remember what I did yesterday", and we both laughed. I thanked him once again and conveyed how much I appreciated him taking the time to care.

Earl Graves Sr. died last week. He was 85.

With prominent individuals, one doesn't usually hear about the way in which they positively impact others. That dinner for us may have been normal for him or a ‘small thing’ in his life but it was a profound moment in the eye of a young athlete and a cherished memory.

My hope is that more of us (including those blessed with influence and fortune), take the time to give in much the same way he touched our lives.

Earl Graves Sr.