Whitney’s Voice – And the Most Important Lesson from her Death

It was a lovely day on the University of Vermont college campus.  Bill (teammate and roommate) and I were relaxing at our apartment, enjoying one of our rare days off from basketball practice. Unbeknownst to me, Bill had purchased Whitney’s first album after I mentioned it.

Upon first seeing the cover of her 1985 debut album, I remember thinking, wow, this woman is gorgeous!  The album design and colors were equally as stunning.  We couldn’t wait to hear it.

That Voice. That Voice. That Voice.

We quickly forget about the cover after hearing a few songs and focused on her magnificent voice. It was like no other - Powerful, Flawless, Soulful, Eloquent, Strong, Fierce and Tender.  Many of the songs were terrific including “You Give Good Love”, which is still my favorite Whitney tune. We knew that she would be a major superstar as I’m sure most people did who heard that first album.

A few years later, I had the pleasure of seeing Whitney live in Boston. The show was fantastic as she was near perfection despite the concert being outside. Her presence was joyful and that voice rocked the entire crowd from start to finish. People in the audience were deliriously happy as they knew this new talent was something special.  

In the early 1990’s, I saw her show again. This time, the venue was Madison Square Garden (MSG) and she was a major superstar. Once again, the show was great and she was on top of the world. Her voice boomed brilliantly inside the walls of the World’s Most Famous Arena.

Before the show, I was given a few post-concert backstage passes. My guests and I were excited as I rarely got this perk even when I worked at MSG in the mid 90’s. When we got backstage, it was a scene like no other. The hysteria around Whitney was crazy.

We could see Whitney yet even with our VIP access, we couldn’t get anywhere near her. There were celebrities around us and near her along with fans that were overly excited. In addition, security wasn’t tight enough and not even close to what it would be today.

We were only able to get within 100 yards of the circle surrounding this twenty-something beauty. I’ve experienced numerous surreal moments although this was high on the list.  It was easy to see that this kind of chaos wouldn’t benefit anyone who had just poured their heart and soul out on stage. Whitney disappeared shortly after and finally the crowd began to disperse.

The final time I saw her live was in early 2001, when she appeared at a concert of Wyclef Jean’s at Carnegie Hall. My wife and I both remember how unhealthy and uncharacteristically skinny she looked.  By this time, she had been married to the troubled singer Bobby Brown for almost 10 years. She still sounded good that night though!

Since 2002, I only saw snippets of Whitney as her musical career was virtually non-existent.  There was a 5 minute TV clip on the ridiculous show of her husband called “Being Bobby Brown”.  Whitney was walking through a mall wearing sweatpants and clearly high on something. Sad was the only word to describe it.

The other moment was from an Oprah Winfrey show, where she gave the impression that she was clean and in full recovery from her troubled life of addiction.  In that interview, I felt that she was only fooling herself.  In addition, she was promoting her comeback album so she sang. Her voice was good yet not the Whitney I expected.

After a 2010 performance in Sweden, a friend (who had the misfortune of attending), described the show as “awful”.  As it turns out, my wife and I had the good fortune of selling our tickets to the aforementioned concert; being uninspired not long after purchasing them.

Whitney was one of a kind.  She had a gift that touched and impacted millions around the world.

When any life (famous or not) is taken away too soon, I always look for the lessons we can learn. There are many lessons including but not limited to:

1)      Every Decision (i.e. Bobby Brown) One Makes Has Consequences

2)      Addiction (small or BIG) Can make life difficult, miserable or deadly

3)      Irresponsibility Typically Leads Down a Dangerous Road

Link to my article, "Mistakes - Responsible or Irresponsible?

4)      Having and/or Listening to a “Voice of Reason” is Essential

Link to my article, "Voice of Reason"

The case of Whitney Houston is tragic yet not unexpected. If there is a positive with her death, it may be that she will now be remembered for her music and that golden voice, not the pathetic figure she became in the last decade.

These words from Whitney’s version of “The Greatest Love of All” are telling:

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

(Written by songwriters Michael Masser and Linda Creed)

THEY didn’t take her dignity away. Whitney did.

More lyrics…..and in my mind, gives us the most important life lesson:

The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

If only Whitney had adhered to those inspiring words and loved herself, things might have turned out differently.

Fortunately for us, her music will endure.

Happy Swede Sunday!

The cover of her 1985 Debut Album.

Give a Little TODAY, Not Tomorrow

Not long ago, I sent a small gift to a friend who lives in America. It was something that she could enjoy with friends or family.   I wanted to show my appreciation for her friendship and inspiration. In addition, she and her boyfriend are dealing with the ill health of a loved one which is never an easy task as my family has experienced in both America and Sweden.

I was happy to hear that my gift put a smile on her face. Her reaction to the gift put a smile on my face!

We only met a few years back (2009) and I haven’t seen her since yet she made a big impact on me. We, and a few of her other friends often had weekly coffee together while I was on parental leave with my then 10 month old daughter. She also loves sports and her knowledge about teams is better than many guys I know! Those times were terrific and I was inspired to write an article about the experience. The link is below:

Article - 2 Aux Pairs in Stockholm

I’m only recounting this story to give you a small example of one way to impact a life in a positive way. It doesn’t take much effort and there are numerous ways to go about it.

Why not Surprise and/or uplift someone with the gift of GIVING this week? 

Whether it is a short letter to a friend/spouse, a small gift, a smile, a compliment, a note of appreciation to a family member, a postcard to a former colleague, an unexpected phone call to an old friend, a spontaneous lunch invitation to someone you don't know that well or simply a heartfelt hug. The options are plentiful!

In our busy worlds, we sometimes forget about the small giving moments that can make a big difference in a person's life.   

Often, these moments are the most precious.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

This friend loves sports - One of her pictures from a college basketball game.

Spice up your Giving in 2012

Since we are only weeks removed from the joys of the holiday season (i.e. spending time with family, visiting friends and enjoying good food), the acting of giving should still be top of mind.

One of the beautiful outcomes from the holiday spirit is the way people choose to help those in need or less fortunate.  With the dire economic straits in much of the USA and Europe, along with the poverty around the world, giving is more important than ever.

Why not try something new in 2012?  Here’s what an anonymous woman did at a Kmart store in December:

Before she left the store Tuesday evening, the Indianapolis woman in her mid-40s had paid the layaway orders for as many as 50 people. On the way out, she handed out $50 bills and paid for two carts of toys for a woman in line at the cash register.

"She was doing it in the memory of her husband who had just died, and she said she wasn't going to be able to spend it and wanted to make people happy with it," Deppe said. The woman did not identify herself and only asked people to "remember Ben," an apparent reference to her husband.

(http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/12/16/anonymous-donors-pay-off-kmart-layaway-accounts/#ixzz1jyhgFTtR)

Not only did she honor her late husband in a loving way but she touched and impacted at least 50 families!

If you want to spice up your giving, there are numerous ways to go about it. All it takes is a bit of creativity.

You could anonymously:

1)      Give a Food Store gift certificate to a family in need.

2)      Pay the bill for a family or families in a restaurant.

3)      Pay the tuition for or make a donation to the college education of a student who is struggling financially.

Or you could:

A)    Visit an elderly home or hospital with sick children while on vacation.

B)    Spend one hour at your local school talking to a class of children about your life/career and hearing about their dreams. I highly recommend this!

C)    Use your automobile to deliver goods for those in need or to help people who may need a ride to their weekly hospital visit.

The sky is the limit with the number of unique ways to give!

There are also more subtle ways to impact a life.  One thing I’ve done from time to time in the USA is to “pay the toll” of the person behind me on the highway – especially during the holidays.

This simple act of kindness doesn’t cost much and can’t help but put a smile on the face of person receiving it.  In addition, it will probably give them an incentive to be more giving.

When speeding off after paying a toll, I occasionally caught a glance of the surprised and happy face behind me and it felt great! We need more small moments of giving like this in our world.

Also, it’s important to note that giving need not be monetary in value. A warm smile or tender hug goes a long way in touching a soul. 

Let’s not forget that the traditional ways of giving (i.e.donating money to good organizations) are invaluable and serve a great purpose for the numerous companies/entrepreneurs who are doing good work around the globe.

Since “variety is the spice of life”, I find it exciting to change one’s path or consider doing things in a different way.  No matter what you decide to do, I implore you to give a little more in 2012 if you are in a position to do so.  If you are inclined, spice it up a bit in order to make a unique impact.

Have a joyous and fun time giving in 2012!

Happy Gswede Sunday!

The beauty of nature! (photo by Bret)

A Taste of my Weekly SMS/Text

A year before I began my weekly blog in early 2008, I was sending a Sunday “sms/text” to a select group of friends around the world who I am close with or enjoy being around.  It was one of the catalysts that propelled me to start putting pen to paper for my blog.

It’s been nearly 5 years since my first sms and I’m happy that I still enjoy doing it every week! Sometimes the words I transmit have to do with my weekly blog although more often than not, they are thoughts that come to me a day or two before I send the sms.

As with my blog, it’s a way in which I try to inspire, empower or simply make people look at things in a different light.

In addition, the sms’s I receive after my own often inspire or educate me. It’s wonderful to know that you have touched someone with a thought, especially when friends reciprocate with such eloquent or poignant responses.

Here’s an example of one I sent out (and the responses) on November 27, 2011:

Whether your life is good, challenging or bad....1 thing should always be a constant - Progression. Either you are moving forward with your goals/dreams or you are wasting time.

If your home life needs fixing, fix it.
If your job is so so or you have no job, do something about it.
If negativity surrounds you, get rid of it.
If friends/family dampen your spirit instead of enhancing it, keep them out of your life.
Etc,Etc.

Life is too short to waste time. Progress!

Comment - From one of my most creative friends.

Brazil's motto on their flag reads, "Order and Progress2. You may have something there, given that they are debt-free and have just discovered oil. Nice.

Comment – From one of the most positive people I know.

Well said George! This is precisely what I am experiencing now - a personal life almost entirely built on progression. And I feel like Superman!

Happy Gswede Sunday!

  

Interesting Wall photo (by Buddhism)

Cancer with a SMILE

Happy 2012!

I can’t think of a better way to kick off the new year than by describing a poignant moment of inspiration in my life – a moment that has stuck with me for nearly 40 years.

It was the mid 1970’s and I was 10 or 11 years old. I remember walking into a room to visit the older brother of a close childhood friend as he was very sick with cancer. I had never known a young person who was severely ill so I was understandably nervous.

The next moment shocked me.

He greeted me with a big smile as if we were buddies who hadn’t seen each other in a long time. It was nothing less than one of the happiest smiles that I can ever remember and an extremely positive visit.  Here was a 14 year old teenager with cancer, smiling at me. It put me at ease immediately.

I don’t recall much about our conversation or who was in the room although that SMILE looms large and has been a wonderful force in my life. That smile confirmed to me what had been evident during his healthy times – what a fine young man he was.  Unfortunately, he lost his battle with cancer not long after.

Over the years, I have thought about that smile when times have been tough although most often, the moment has just popped into my mind to give me a dose of inspiration or to let me know that nothing is worth complaining about.

This is the first time that I have shared this memory in abundance. I only told my mother (he was her godson) about it recently.  I don’t think I ever really knew until now just how important that moment was for me.

I can’t say for sure although I think it has helped me to become a patient man, a giving man and a loving man. In addition, I rarely complain so I must attribute that in some form or fashion to the visit.

If there is one thing that most of us can do better in 2012, it would probably be to live life more positively, increase our patience and lessen our complaints. I have worked hard to evolve into the good man that I am despite the impatience and stubbornness of my early twenties although there is still work to be done. We can always improve upon who we are and how we live our lives.

Maybe you have a similar moment in your life? If so, hold onto it and cherish it. It may be the key to helping you evolve into a better person.

Cancer with a SMILE.  It’s a day I’ll never forget.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

 A lovely picture from my hometown in Pennsylvania!

Gswede's Holiday Message

Feliz Navidad from the warmth of San Miguel, Mexico.  The temperature is absolutely perfect and I’m grateful to be relaxing in the comfort of family.

My holiday words are simple yet very important to one’s well being.

The message:

In 2012 and beyond, try to do the things you enjoy in life. Don’t put off the travel or passions or whatever you desire.  Put yourself FIRST (if only now and then) thus being better able to enjoy the beauty of life and tackle its challenges.

Embrace the family and friends who enhance your life NOT those who lessen it.

Keep the struggles of those less fortunate top of mind along with those dealing with the hardship of the global financial crises and the brave soldiers (throughout the world) fighting for freedom.

In addition, give of your time or money in whatever capacity you can.  Try to mentor our youth in some shape or form, whether they are a family member or someone close to you. Lending a helping hand to only one young person could change that life forever!

Be thankful for what you do have even if it is not what you desire. I love this quote:

“Be Grateful for Life”

“Be Grateful to Life”

Remember to evolve or enhance yourself in the new year, like being more patient.  One who doesn’t consistently evolve throughout life can miss the wonderful moments revolving around them.

Don’t forget that nothing is more important than your health. Nothing.

Finally, HAVE FUN! If you’re not having fun, you’re not living life.

Have a great holiday season and a vibrant 2012.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

The pool view from our condo in Mexico!

Friend to Friend – The Truth Hurts (and Helps)

Friends should be honest with each other, especially with those who are LAZY or not showing enough GRIT in life or MISGUIDED or UNPRODUCTIVE or NOT living up to their potential.

For years with one friend and recently with another, I've attempted to provide a 'wake up call' since they haven’t come close to fulfilling their potential.

The first has taken the constructive criticism and advice well over the years but not the second man.

I have very little faith left in the first man as he has shown zero progress despite good counsel and love from many.  He has had well over a decade of going further and further into the abyss, often chasing one misguided dream after another. He is a dear friend to me and a few in my inner circle although I believe most are getting tired of his unwillingness to find a normal path in life.  His pattern has not worked for a long time so a change is much needed.

It’s important to note that he’s had major success as an American living in Europe - one of the first to move abroad in our core group.  I saw the sizzle daily when I visited him in the 1990’s. It was one of the best European weeks of my life!  Ever since he returned to the USA, that high life has evaporated. It’s a shame as he had what it took to survive and thrive in Europe (not easy to do), yet those qualities have failed to bloom in the USA.  I’ve written about him on several occasions and you can find the articles at the links below:

1st article - MAJORS or Minors?

2nd article - After a Wake-Up Call...Inspiration for a Friend

3rd article - A Lesson in Humility

The second man lives in Sweden and is a good friend who has helped me in several projects. He’s smart, charming and good with kids. In addition, he has a kind heart. By his own admission, he didn’t focus in high school as a star athlete, which probably cost him a top sports scholarship. One of his coaches thought he could have been a professional baseball player.

He’s had success in various European countries with his sports background although I haven’t seen the high energy, supreme focus or effective networking in Sweden – character aspects vital to success in this country. In my opinion, he needs to show more grit and embrace the Swedish culture better than he has. He doesn’t seem to give people a chance to see those qualities other than those close to him.  It’s almost as if he puts up a protective shell when in the company of Swedes or those he doesn’t know.   Without networking well in Sweden or showing one’s true character, it’s almost impossible to succeed at a high level.

It was tough for him to read my recent emails although all the correspondences were sent because I care and want to see him do better. He will understand this more clearly over time.  I expected his defensive reaction as he has never taken kindly to constructive criticism, which probably means he never had much from those close to him.

I’ve never been afraid to speak my mind to a friend, push them to be better, give advice or tell them when they were wrong. Fortunately, my close friends have treated me the same way. Although nobody would say (I hope!) that I am not living up to my potential, there have certainly been moments where the GRIT wasn’t good enough or the effort wasn’t as strong as it should have been……. and friends let me know about it.

There were a few who boldly got in my face and told me to “shape up” or sometimes used harsher words, which was exactly what I needed.  If not for their concern and love, my success in life might have been much less. Their timely input was spot on each time and I’m wiser because of it. 

Friends need to push each other to be better because if not, who will? Do you tell your friends things they don’t want to hear?  The truth often hurts…BUT don’t be afraid to tell it to your friends or anyone you care about, particularly if they are not living up to their potential or not going about life in a productive manner.

These two men should be “shining lights” and they have had some moments in the sun. The first man is only a flicker of light these days, sometimes barely seen. The second has a chance to climb to the brightness only if he is bold enough to show more grit, come out of his shell, embrace Sweden and work harder than he ever has to find a quality job or start his own business. The world is his oyster.

It all comes down to choices.

Will they choose to have a HO HUM life or choose to let that inner beauty flow and live life at a minimum, close to their potential?  I’m optimistic for the latter.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

A wonderful cheese store in Lund, Sweden.