Gswede Sunday

Whitney’s Voice – And the Most Important Lesson from her Death

2012-02-12T00:39:00.000-08:00

It was a lovely day on the University of Vermontcollege campus. Bill (teammate androommate) and I were relaxing at our apartment, enjoying one of our rare daysoff from basketball practice. Unbeknownst to me, Bill had purchased Whitney’sfirst album after I mentioned it.

Upon first seeing the cover of her 1985 debut album, Iremember thinking, wow, this woman is gorgeous! The album design and colors were equally asstunning. We couldn’t wait to hear it.

That Voice. That Voice. That Voice.

We quickly forget about the cover after hearing a few songsand focused on her magnificent voice. It was like no other - Powerful, Flawless,Soulful, Eloquent, Strong, Fierce and Tender. Many of the songs were terrific including “YouGive Good Love”, which is still my favorite Whitney tune. We knew that shewould be a major superstar as I’m sure most people did who heard that firstalbum.

A few years later, I had the pleasure of seeing Whitney livein Boston. Theshow was fantastic as she was near perfection despite the concert being outside.Her presence was joyful and that voice rocked the entire crowd from start tofinish. People in the audience were deliriously happy as they knew this newtalent was something special.

In the early 1990’s, I saw her show again. This time, thevenue was Madison Square Garden (MSG) and she was a major superstar. Onceagain, the show was great and she was on top of the world. Her voice boomedbrilliantly inside the walls of the World’s Most Famous Arena.

Before the show, I was given a few post-concert backstagepasses. My guests and I were excited as I rarely got this perk even when Iworked at MSG in the mid 90’s. When we got backstage, it was a scene like noother. The hysteria around Whitney was crazy.

We could see Whitney yet even with our VIP access, wecouldn’t get anywhere near her. There were celebrities around us and near heralong with fans that were overly excited. In addition, security wasn’t tightenough and not even close to what it would be today.

We were only able to get within 100 yards of the circlesurrounding this twenty-something beauty. I’ve experienced numerous surreal momentsalthough this was high on the list. Itwas easy to see that this kind of chaos wouldn’t benefit anyone who had justpoured their heart and soul out on stage. Whitney disappeared shortly after andfinally the crowd began to disperse.

The final time I saw her live was in early 2001, when sheappeared at a concert of Wyclef Jean’s at Carnegie Hall. My wife and I bothremember how unhealthy and uncharacteristically skinny she looked. By this time, she had been married to the troubledsinger Bobby Brown for almost 10 years. She still sounded good that night though!

Since 2002, I only saw snippets of Whitney as her musicalcareer was virtually non-existent. Therewas a 5 minute TV clip on the ridiculous show of her husband called “BeingBobby Brown”. Whitney was walkingthrough a mall wearing sweatpants and clearly high on something. Sad was theonly word to describe it.

The other moment was from an Oprah Winfrey show, where shegave the impression that she was clean and in full recovery from her troubledlife of addiction. In that interview, I feltthat she was only fooling herself. Inaddition, she was promoting her comeback album so she sang. Hervoice was good yet not the Whitney I expected.

After a 2010 performance in Sweden, a friend (who had themisfortune of attending), described the show as “awful”. As it turns out, my wife and I had the goodfortune of selling our tickets to the aforementioned concert; beinguninspired not long after purchasing them.

Whitney was one of a kind. She had agift that touched and impacted millions around the world.

When any life (famous or not) is taken away too soon, Ialways look for the lessons we can learn. There are many lessons including but not limited to:

1) Every Decision(i.e. Bobby Brown) One Makes Has Consequences

2) Addiction(small or BIG) Can make life difficult, miserable or deadly

3) IrresponsibilityTypically Leads Down a Dangerous Road

Link to my article, "Mistakes - Responsible or Irresponsible?

4) Havingand/or Listening to a “Voice of Reason” is Essential

Link to my article, "Voice of Reason"

The case of Whitney Houston is tragic yet not unexpected. Ifthere is a positive with her death, it may be that she will now be rememberedfor her music and that golden voice, not the pathetic figure she became in thelast decade.

These words from Whitney’s version of “The Greatest Love ofAll” are telling:

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

(Written by songwriters Michael Masser and Linda Creed)

THEY didn’t take her dignity away. Whitney did.

More lyrics…..and in my mind, gives us the most important lifelesson:

The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

If only Whitney hadadhered to those inspiring words and loved herself, things might have turnedout differently.

Fortunately for us, her music will endure.

Happy Swede Sunday!

The cover of her 1985 Debut Album.

Give a Little TODAY, Not Tomorrow

2012-02-05T13:23:00.000-08:00

Not long ago, I sent a small gift to a friend who lives in America. It wassomething that she could enjoy with friends or family. I wanted to show my appreciation for herfriendship and inspiration. In addition, she and her boyfriend are dealing withthe ill health of a loved one which is never an easy task as my family hasexperienced in both Americaand Sweden.

I was happy to hear that my gift put a smile on her face.Her reaction to the gift put a smile on my face!

We only met a few years back (2009) and I haven’t seen hersince yet she made a big impact on me. We, and a few of her other friends oftenhad weekly coffee together while I was on parental leave with my then 10 monthold daughter. She also loves sports and her knowledge about teams is better than manyguys I know! Those times were terrific and I was inspired to write an articleabout the experience. The link is below:

Article - 2 Aux Pairs in Stockholm

I’m only recounting this story to give you a small exampleof one way to impact a life in a positive way. It doesn’t take much effort andthere are numerous ways to go about it.

Why not Surprise and/or upliftsomeone with the gift of GIVING this week?

Whether it is a short letter to afriend/spouse, a small gift, a smile, a compliment, a note of appreciation to afamily member, a postcard to a former colleague, an unexpected phone call to anold friend, a spontaneous lunch invitation to someone you don't know that wellor simply a heartfelt hug. The options are plentiful!

In our busy worlds, we sometimes forget about the smallgiving moments that can make a big difference in a person's life.

Often, these moments are the mostprecious.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

This friend loves sports - One of her pictures from a college basketball game.

Spice up your Giving in 2012

2012-01-15T07:07:00.000-08:00

Since we are only weeks removed from the joys of the holidayseason (i.e. spending time with family,visiting friends and enjoying good food), the acting of giving should stillbe top of mind.

One of the beautiful outcomes from the holiday spirit is theway people choose to help those in need or less fortunate. With the dire economic straits in much of theUSA and Europe,along with the poverty around the world, giving is more important than ever.

Why not try something new in 2012? Here’s what an anonymous woman did at a Kmartstore in December:

Beforeshe left the store Tuesday evening, the Indianapoliswoman in her mid-40s had paid the layaway orders for as many as 50 people. Onthe way out, she handed out $50 bills and paid for two carts of toys for awoman in line at the cash register.

"Shewas doing it in the memory of her husband who had just died, and she said shewasn't going to be able to spend it and wanted to make people happy with it,"Deppe said. The woman did not identify herself and only asked people to"remember Ben," an apparent reference to her husband.

(http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/12/16/anonymous-donors-pay-off-kmart-layaway-accounts/#ixzz1jyhgFTtR)

Not onlydid she honor her late husband in a loving way but she touched and impacted atleast 50 families!

If youwant to spice up your giving, there are numerous ways to go about it. All ittakes is a bit of creativity.

You couldanonymously:

1) Give a Food Store giftcertificate to a family in need.

2) Pay the bill for afamily or families in a restaurant.

3) Pay the tuition for ormake a donation to the college education of a student who is strugglingfinancially.

Or youcould:

A) Visit an elderly homeor hospital with sick children while on vacation.

B) Spend one hour at yourlocal school talking to a class of children about your life/career and hearingabout their dreams. I highly recommend this!

C) Use your automobile todeliver goods for those in need or to help people who may need a ride to theirweekly hospital visit.

The skyis the limit with the number of unique ways to give!

There arealso more subtle ways to impact a life. One thing I’ve done from time to time in the USA is to “pay the toll” of theperson behind me on the highway – especially during the holidays.

Thissimple act of kindness doesn’t cost much and can’t help but put a smile on the face ofperson receiving it. In addition, itwill probably give them an incentive to be more giving.

Whenspeeding off after paying a toll, I occasionally caught a glance of thesurprised and happy face behind me and it felt great! We need more smallmoments of giving like this in our world.

Also,it’s important to note that giving need not be monetary in value. A warm smileor tender hug goes a long way in touching a soul.

Let’s notforget that the traditional ways of giving (i.e.donating money to goodorganizations) are invaluable and serve a great purpose for the numerouscompanies/entrepreneurs who are doing good work around the globe.

Since“variety is the spice of life”, I find it exciting to change one’s path orconsider doing things in a different way. No matter what you decide to do, I implore you to give a little more in2012 if you are in a position to do so. If you are inclined, spice it up a bit in order to make a unique impact.

Have ajoyous and fun time giving in 2012!

HappyGswede Sunday!

The beauty of nature! (photo by Bret)

A Taste of my Weekly SMS/Text

2012-01-08T03:25:00.000-08:00

A year before I began my weekly blog in early 2008, I wassending a Sunday “sms/text” to a select group of friends around the world who Iam close with or enjoy being around. Itwas one of the catalysts that propelled me to start putting pen to paper for myblog.

It’s been nearly 5 years since my first sms and I’m happythat I still enjoy doing it every week! Sometimes the words I transmit have todo with my weekly blog although more often than not, they are thoughts thatcome to me a day or two before I send the sms.

As with my blog, it’s a way in which I try to inspire,empower or simply make people look at things in a different light.

In addition, the sms’s I receive after my own often inspireor educate me. It’s wonderful to know that you have touched someone with athought, especially when friends reciprocate with such eloquent or poignantresponses.

Here’s an example of one I sent out (and the responses) onNovember 27, 2011:

Whether your life isgood, challenging or bad....1 thing should always be a constant - Progression.Either you are moving forward with your goals/dreams or you are wasting time.

If your home life needs fixing, fix it.
If your job is so so or you have no job, do something about it.
If negativity surrounds you, get rid of it.
If friends/family dampen your spirit instead of enhancing it, keep them out ofyour life.
Etc,Etc.

Life is too short to waste time. Progress!

Comment - From one of my most creative friends.

Brazil's motto on their flag reads, "Order and Progress2. You may havesomething there, given that they are debt-free and have just discovered oil.Nice.

Comment – From one of the most positive people I know.

Well said George!This is precisely what I am experiencing now - a personal life almost entirelybuilt on progression. And I feel like Superman!

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Interesting Wall photo (by Buddhism)

Cancer with a SMILE

2012-01-01T02:17:00.000-08:00

Happy 2012!

I can’t think of a better way to kick off the new year thanby describing a poignant moment of inspiration in my life – a moment that hasstuck with me for nearly 40 years.

It was the mid 1970’s and I was 10 or 11 years old. Iremember walking into a room to visit the older brother of a close childhoodfriend as he was very sick with cancer. I had never known a young person whowas severely ill so I was understandably nervous.

The next moment shocked me.

He greeted me with a big smile as if we were buddies whohadn’t seen each other in a long time. It was nothing less than one of thehappiest smiles that I can ever remember and an extremely positive visit. Here was a 14 year old teenager with cancer,smiling at me. It put me at ease immediately.

I don’t recall much about our conversation or who was in theroom although that SMILE looms large and has been a wonderful force in my life.That smileconfirmed to me what had been evident during his healthy times – what a fineyoung man he was. Unfortunately, he lost his battle with cancer not long after.

Over the years, I have thought about that smile when timeshave been tough although most often, the moment has just popped into my mind togive me a dose of inspiration or to let me know that nothing is worthcomplaining about.

This is the first time that I have shared this memory inabundance. I only told my mother (he was her godson) about it recently. I don’t think I ever really knew until now just how important that moment was for me.

I can’t say for sure although I think it has helped me tobecome a patient man, a giving man and a loving man. In addition, I rarelycomplain so I must attribute that in some form or fashion to the visit.

If there is one thing that most of us can do better in 2012,it would probably be to live life more positively, increase our patience andlessen our complaints. I have worked hard to evolve into the good man that I amdespite the impatience and stubbornness of my early twenties although there isstill work to be done. We can always improve upon who we are and how we liveour lives.

Maybe you have a similar moment in your life? If so, holdonto it and cherish it. It may be the key to helping you evolve into a betterperson.

Cancer with a SMILE. It’s a day I’ll never forget.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

A lovely picture from my hometown in Pennsylvania!

Gswede's Holiday Message

2011-12-25T14:00:00.000-08:00

Feliz Navidad from the warmth of San Miguel, Mexico. The temperature is absolutely perfect and I’mgrateful to be relaxing in the comfort of family.

My holiday words are simple yet very important to one’s wellbeing.

The message:

In 2012 and beyond, try to do the things you enjoy in life.Don’t put off the travel or passions or whatever you desire. Put yourself FIRST (if only now and then)thus being better able to enjoy the beauty of life and tackle its challenges.

Embrace the family and friends who enhance your life NOT thosewho lessen it.

Keep the struggles of those less fortunate top of mind alongwith those dealing with the hardship of the global financial crises and thebrave soldiers (throughout the world) fighting for freedom.

In addition, give of your time or money in whatever capacityyou can. Try to mentor our youth insome shape or form, whether they are a family member or someone close to you.Lending a helping hand to only one young person could change that life forever!

Be thankful for what you do have even if it is not what youdesire. I love this quote:

“Be Grateful for Life”

“Be Grateful to Life”

Remember to evolve or enhance yourself in the new year, likebeing more patient. One who doesn’tconsistently evolve throughout life can miss the wonderful moments revolving around them.

Don’t forget that nothing is more important than yourhealth. Nothing.

Finally, HAVE FUN! If you’re not having fun, you’re notliving life.

Have a great holiday season and a vibrant 2012.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

The pool view from our condo in Mexico!

Friend to Friend – The Truth Hurts (and Helps)

2011-12-18T19:58:00.000-08:00

Friends should be honest with each other, especially withthose who are LAZY or not showing enough GRIT in life or MISGUIDED orUNPRODUCTIVE or NOT living up to their potential.

For years with one friend and recently with another, I'veattempted to provide a 'wake up call' since they haven’t come close tofulfilling their potential.

The first has taken the constructive criticism and advicewell over the years but not the second man.

I have very little faith left in the first man as he hasshown zero progress despite good counsel and love from many. He has had well over a decade of goingfurther and further into the abyss, often chasing one misguided dream afteranother. He is a dear friend to me and a few in my inner circle although I believemost are getting tired of his unwillingness to find a normal path in life. His pattern has not worked for a long time soa change is much needed.

It’s important to note that he’s had major success as anAmerican living in Europe - one of the first to move abroad in our core group. I saw the sizzle daily when I visited him in the1990’s. It was one of the best European weeks of my life! Ever since he returned to the USA, that highlife has evaporated. It’s a shame as he had what it took to survive and thrivein Europe (not easy to do), yet those qualities have failed to bloom in the USA. I’ve written about him on several occasionsand you can find the articles at the links below:

1st article - MAJORS or Minors?

2nd article - After a Wake-Up Call...Inspiration for a Friend

3rd article - A Lesson in Humility

The second man lives in Sweden and is a good friend who has helped me in severalprojects.He’s smart, charming and good with kids. In addition, he has a kind heart. Byhis own admission, he didn’t focus in high school as a star athlete, whichprobably cost him a top sports scholarship. One of his coaches thought he couldhave been a professional baseball player.

He’s had success in various European countries with his sports background although I haven’tseen the high energy, supreme focus or effective networking in Sweden– character aspects vital to success in this country. In my opinion, he needsto show more grit and embrace the Swedish culture better than he has. Hedoesn’t seem to give people a chance to see those qualities other than thoseclose to him. It’s almost as if he putsup a protective shell when in the company of Swedes or those he doesn’t know. Without networking well in Sweden orshowing one’s true character, it’s almost impossible to succeed at a highlevel.

It was tough for him to read my recent emails although allthe correspondences were sent because I care and want to see him do better. Hewill understand this more clearly over time. Iexpected his defensive reaction as he has never taken kindly to constructivecriticism, which probably means he never had much from those close to him.

I’ve never been afraid to speak my mind to a friend, push them to be better, giveadvice or tell them when they were wrong. Fortunately, my close friends havetreated me the same way. Although nobody would say (I hope!) that I am notliving up to my potential, there have certainly been moments where the GRITwasn’t good enough or the effort wasn’t as strong as it should have been……. andfriends let me know about it.

There were a few who boldly got in my face and told me to“shape up” or sometimes used harsher words, which was exactly what Ineeded. If not for their concern andlove, my success in life might have been much less. Their timely input was spoton each time and I’m wiser because of it.

Friends need to push each other to be better because if not,who will? Do you tell your friendsthings they don’t want to hear? The truth often hurts…BUT don’t be afraidto tell it to your friends or anyone you care about, particularly if they arenot living up to their potential or not going about life in a productive manner.

These two men should be “shining lights” and they have had some moments in the sun. The first man is only a flicker of light these days, sometimesbarely seen. The second has a chance to climb to the brightness only if he is bold enough to show more grit, come out of his shell, embrace Swedenand work harder than he ever has to find a quality job or start his ownbusiness. The world is his oyster.

It all comes down to choices.

Will they choose to have a HO HUM life or choose to let thatinner beauty flow and live life at a minimum, close to their potential? I’m optimistic for the latter.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

A wonderful cheese store in Lund, Sweden.

Salespeople - Make that Last Extra Call

2011-12-11T08:44:00.000-08:00

Not long ago, I had two productive days on universities several hours apart.

It was late on the second day and my train was departing in 35 minutes.I thought about talking a lazy walk to the train but then said to myself, “whynot make one final call?”

I picked a random door and knocked. The woman I met was affable and glad to see me despite the time. I quickly uncovered her main need – anentrepreneurial textbook for hundreds of students. An added bonus was that this meeting was the mostenjoyable one of the day.

She wasn’t happy with her current textbook (my main competition) so Ipresented her with a few options. After further investigation back in my office,I later found the perfect book for her needs and sent a copy immediately.

She has a few weeks to make her decision and wants to consider all ofher options, yet if I didn’t make that final call, I would have missed a goldenopportunity. As a salesperson, one never wants to miss any chances to gainbusiness, especially new business.

While sharing my story with a colleague, he described his ultimate “lastcall” via email:

Great news on that lastcall!!! I am a big believer in making that last extra call. I will never forgetwaiting outside of a guy's office in Stockholm(economics dept). There were lots of students outside his office all day, so Iknew he must teach a big course but he wasn't in the database. Finally at justbefore 5 I stopped by again and the students were gone. He was still there andI knocked on the door. After a brief intro he said "you are either psychicor very lucky because I was just given a new course today for 350 to 500students and we need to use 2 books." It was a microeconomics course forlaw students so they picked two of our books; I DHL'd him the books and that was that. Sosometimes that last call can be the best of the day! Great job giving thatextra effort! I hope you get this one!

We (salespeople) should try to makethat last call as often as we can. One never knows what great success may bewaiting behind an unexplored door.

I made my train that day with only afew minutes to spare. Even if I missed it, the opportunity I gained would havestill been worth it!

Although I didn’t close the businesson the spot like the aforementioned colleague, my chances are high to gain thisNEW business – business that would make a strong impact for me in 2012.

In my experience, last calls arerarely the best calls of the day although like in basketball, “if you don’t takethe shot, you have no chance of scoring”!

Take that last shot.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

My wife Matilda and I before a July summer party in the south of Sweden

Life is What We Make of It

2011-12-04T08:01:00.000-08:00

In the last few years, I was fortunate to come across the words of my friend Bryson. As a writer, he is prolific and I appreciate his talent and dedication.

I particurlary like the passage below from his work called, "Life is What We Make of It":

Life doesn’t have to be so complicated and deep that we don’t enjoy life
Life is simply living and not existing
Enjoying every moment and everything that life has to offer
And learning from the many lessons that life will give
Some good and some bad
A combination of the joys and pains that we experience in our journey
But even with the not so good and those life experiences that sometimes hurt
Life is what we make of it

Let's make sure we enjoy the moments, all moments.....each and every day. Life is INDEED what we make of it. The entire writing is below.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

-----

Life is What We Make of It

It’s often said life is what we make of it
We spend much of our early life
Dreaming of what we would like our life to be
And then we spend the rest of our life trying to make those dreams come true

Dreams of living life to the fullest
Dreams of having the perfect life
Dreams of having the perfect job
Dreams of having the perfect love
Dreams of life becoming the perfect dream

Sometimes dreams are fulfilled
And they become that perfect reality
And sometimes those dreams that we had envisioned our lives to become go unfulfilled
And takes us down roads we never thought we would have to travel
And introduce us to experiences we never thought would become a part of our life story

But dreams fulfilled or unfulfilled doesn’t mean life cannot be all it can be
Because life is what life is and life is what we make of it

Life doesn’t have to be so complicated and deep that we don’t enjoy life
Life is simply living and not existing
Enjoying every moment and everything that life has to offer
And learning from the many lessons that life will give
Some good and some bad
A combination of the joys and pains that we experience in our journey
But even with the not so good and those life experiences that sometimes hurt
Life is what we make of it

We must understand there is chemistry with the many characteristics of life
We must realize that even work and play can be one of the same
There shouldn’t be a difference in the observation of work and play
There shouldn’t be a difference if you are working versus if you are playing
You should do one as easily as the other

And work and play should bring both comfort and joy
You should do both with a commitment, passion and seriousness that defines who you are
In work and play you should see what makes you the person you are

And most of all you should see a passion for what you do
Whatever you do should be a reflection of you
Whether you are working or playing
A true picture of you should be revealed
Find who you are in all that you do
And never allow anything to compromise the person you are

Understand that whatever you do, can be one in the same if you focus on finding satisfaction in what you do
And through a satisfaction in all that you do
You can learn to reach your full potential and live life to the fullest
And you will realize that life is what we make of it

My friend Bryson

Reading to Your Child is Fundamental for Success

2011-11-20T04:16:00.001-08:00

I believe most parents would agree that we never stop learning. Thisinsightful article (quotes and link below) from NY Times columist ThomasFriedman offers some good advice for parents regarding education.

First, a sad fact about America'syoung people. A quote:

"Every three years, the Organization for Economic Cooperation andDevelopment, or O.E.C.D., conducts exams as part of the Program for InternationalStudent Assessment, or PISA, which tests 15-year-olds in the world’s leadingindustrialized nations on their reading comprehension and ability to use whatthey’ve learned in math and science to solve real problems — the most importantskills for succeeding in college and life. America’s15-year-olds have not been distinguishing themselves in the PISAexams compared with students in Singapore,Finland and Shanghai."
(http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/20/opinion/sunday/friedman-how-about-better-parents.html)

Another quote on why the big differrence:

For instance, the PISA study revealed that “students whose parentsreported that they had read a book with their child ‘every day or almost everyday’ or ‘once or twice a week’ during the first year of primary school havemarkedly higher scores in PISA 2009 than students whose parents reported thatthey had read a book with their child ‘never or almost never’ or only ‘once ortwice a month.’ On average, the score difference is 25 points, the equivalentof well over half a school year.”

Reading toyour child may come naturally and its benefits could seem obvious although it'sclear from the study that many parents aren't reading to their children on aregular basis. I know several educated parents who admitted to me thatthey rarely read newspapers, online articles or books, which surprised me. It'sdoubtful they are frequent readers to their young ones.

One of the reasons I'm a competent writer is that my mother and father werebig proponents of education. On the nights I didn't have homework, my motheroften gave me her own homework. In addition, I love to read and much of thatstems from my parents. Because of their care, educational success was made easyand it sparked my curiosity about the world..

Currently, Americais in a lot of pain, with millions unemployed and a bad economy. One way tobring back some of the pleasure is to make sure reading stays front and centerin as many homes as possible. As this article suggests, one's background isn'tnecessarily a barrier in helping your child to succeed:

The performance advantage among students whose parents read to them intheir early school years is evident regardless of the family’s socioeconomicbackground. Parents’ engagement with their 15-year-olds is strongly associatedwith better performance in PISA.”

Additional insight:

“Monitoring homework; making sure children get to school; rewardingtheir efforts and talking up the idea of going to college. These parent actionsare linked to better attendance, grades, test scores, and preparation forcollege,” Barth wrote. “The study found that getting parents involved withtheir children’s learning at home is a more powerful driver of achievement thanparents attending P.T.A. and school board meetings, volunteering in classrooms,participating in fund-raising, and showing up at back-to-school nights.”

In our busy worlds, it would be beneficial for parents to sit back now andthen , reflect and make sure we are giving our child the best possibleopportunity for success. Readingmore is an easy way to do that.

The author's final point:

To be sure, there is no substitute for a good teacher. There isnothing more valuable than great classroom instruction. But let’s stop puttingthe whole burden on teachers. We also need better parents. Better parents canmake every teacher more effective.

Indeed.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

The beauty of Barcelona, Spain in November.

Synchronized Sunning

2011-11-13T11:36:00.000-08:00

I'm frequently at a college university for my job. The professor conversations, walks around campus and energy of the students are often inspiring. In addition, the occasional flow ofmemorable college flashbacks (25 years ago) brings a smile to my face.

One particular moment was exquisite. It occurred late oneafternoon after my last sales appointment. I was about to enter a taxi.

Before I got in, the taxi driver and I simultaneously sawtwo extraordinarily beautiful women walking across the parking lot. Any man orwoman would have looked at these college students as they were a stunning pairand would dominate any scene.

The moment was enhanced by the late afternoon sun and apleasant autumn temperature of 10c (50F). In addition, the warm and perfectlight dancing off the concrete, combined with the surrounding reflections anddistant foliage was lovely.

And then it happened.

They stopped (as if choreographed) in the middle of theempty parking lot and turned towards the sun. As they pointed their facesupward and closed their eyes, they simply basked in the glow of the sun forwhat seemed like forever although it was probably only 15 seconds.

It was the essence of harmony.

If this was an Olympic Sport, it would be called “SynchronizedSunning” and this tandem would have easily taken home the Gold! I’ve never been a fan of the actual sport (SynchronizedSwimming) yet I can appreciate its beauty.

I had the urge to pull my camera (always on me) out yet Icouldn’t take my eyes off this beautiful scene. The taxi driver was just asenthralled as I was.

After the ladies left, the driver and I simply smiled at eachother and nothing was said. Nothing more needed to be said.

The moment was (in the words of poet John Keats), “A Thing ofBeauty”.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede catching some sun at a lovely park in Barcelona, Spain.

To Stretch or Not to Stretch

2011-11-06T08:51:00.000-08:00

Below is a quote about stretching:

If you’ve neverstretched, though, don’t feel obligated to begin now, Dr. Herbert says. “Thereis little evidence that stretching does anything important,” he says, “butthere is also little to be lost from doing it. If you like stretching, then doit. On the other hand, if you don’t like stretching, or are always in a rush toexercise, you won’t be missing out on much if you don’t stretch.”

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/11/16/the-right-reasons-to-stretch-before-exercise/?src=me&ref=general

Although it seems as though stretching doesn’t do anythingbeneficial, consider this scenario:

At a New York City party in SoHo over a decade ago, a good friend casually mentionedto me that he was playing basketball the next day. I didn’t think much of his comment at thetime as the party was lively and festive. As I was leaving, I said for all to hear“Make sure you stretch your achilles”.

He laughed it off having never been seriously hurt and onlyin his early 30’s. The next day, he tore his achilles tendon.

Do you think he stretched? Of course not. When I’ve askedthose who have torn their achilles if they stretched beforehand, there was rarelya positive response.

My friend might have been injured anyway although stretchingin this instance may have prevented 2 months on crutches. I could only chucklewhen I saw him limping around after since I did give him ample warning. I’ve always stretched my achilles beforeplaying basketball or any other sport and I believe it is one of the reasonsI’ve never injured it.

As a former division1 basketball player, I was taught early on to stretch and do a light warm-upbefore taking the court. The stretching frequently made me feel better and morelimber. Surely, there has to be some benefit to that.

The real key to avoiding an injury with running or sports ingeneral is to know your body, compete within your limits and be careful not toinjure yourself because of carelessness. Below is a quote and link from aprevious article:

A message to all 40 something’s or older – stay within yourabilities or comfort zone when competing athletically and don’t try to act asif you are twenty again. I have seen numerous people injured (often with painfor years) simply because they trained or competed as if they were still incollege. A woman in my hometown was playing softball and ran the bases as ifshe was a track star; she never made it to home base and died. If she had runeasily and comfortably, she might be on this earth today. Quality of lifeshould be important and as we get older there needs to be a focus of soundjudgment in any chosen athletic endeavor or you could have an aching knee orbad back for the rest of your life.

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/07/45-is-new-35not-25.html

There has never been a moment in any type of sport/activity whereI wasn’t aware of my body and competing in the proper way, especially with regardto my knees and back – areas if injured, can limit one’s life in a major way.

I’m less than three years from 50 and my body has rarelyfelt better.

One final thought on avoiding injuries in your day to daylife; a quote from my article called“Avoid Injuries Due to Your Own Actions:

Remember the following story the nexttime you find yourself near ice:

In 2003, Dr. Atkins was enjoying the moment particularly because hiscontroversial weight loss philosophy was finally getting the respect he thoughtit deserved. He was in his early 70's and life was good.

As he was walking down a New York City street, he slipped and fell on ice. Hesuffered a severe head injury and never recovered. He died just as the glorywas shining upon him. What a shame.

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2010/02/avoid-injuries-due-to-your-own-actions.html

Happy Gswede Sunday!

The October Foliage at our country home in Sweden.

CYA (Control Your Agenda)

2011-10-23T07:03:00.000-07:00

Most of my life, I’ve followed a path of my choosing andmade it a priority to do the things I enjoyed in a responsible manner. In addition, helping others has been and alwayswill be important to me.

I’ve never been afraid to make choices that were good for mybeing or pursue a direction that interested me. Sometimes those decisions were delayed although eventually I got on theproper course.

It’s what I like to call CYA or “Control Your Agenda”.

The Best Man at my 2003 wedding talked a bit about my CYAphilosophy which brought a smile to my face. Our life is made up of choices and each one of us has the opportunity touse them to our own benefit and/or the benefit of others.

Since our time on earth is so short, why not control theflow and rhythm of your life? Isn’t alife on your terms the most worthwhile?

I realize it can be a tough road to navigate as often peoplethink they know what’s good for you, when in reality they are trying to persuadeyou to think or be like them. Sometimes, your inner voice is the one to adhereto. One can still listen to and/orfollow the wise advice and counsel of others (I have and still do) as long atthey have your best interests in mind.

Some didn’t think moving to New York City was a wise move for me. Iappreciated their concern but I wanted the sizzle, challenge and excitementthat only the Big Apple can provide. Itwas a GREAT ten years and invaluable, both personally and for my business career.

Often, one’s journey makes it impossible to live a lifedesired although in my experience, bad choices and/or irresponsibility are themain culprits in that regard. If one is prudent and responsible (not easy to doin our world of temptations), doing what you want in life is usually withinyour control. Irresponsible choices canput a severe damper on an otherwise bright light.

Or sometimes one makes good decisions too late, thus wastingprecious time/years in life or relationships. I spent four years in Boston although that wasalmost cut in half as two years was enough for me. I didn’t listen to thewisdom of friends and my inner voice. It was the only period where I wastedtime living in a place too long. Fortunately, it’s been rare when I wasted timein a relationship.

We all have known numerous people who haven’t been bold orcourageous enough to control their life in the manner they desire – some goingwith any flow or someone else’s opinion while others let life control them.

In addition, those who pepper their conversations with“should have” or “could have” can frequently be guilty of not fulfilling theirdreams.

Below is a list of “Controlling Your Agenda” aspects I’veadmired, embraced or lived; with many emanating from people close to me who exemplify “being the author of their own life”

CYA aspects of life including but not limited to:

-- Living life on your terms, NOT for others like aparent, friend or family member

-- Choosing a life of Responsibility overIrresponsibility

-- Doing a job you like or are passionate about

-- Having daily or weekly “Me Time” – undisturbedtime for yourself to do whatever you enjoy

-- Embracing life like a child occasionally

-- Having a least one passion or hobby outside ofyour day job

-- Not living “solely” for your kids and neglectingyour needs

-- Helping others

-- Putting yourself FIRST in order to serve othersbest

-- Standing up for your beliefs

-- Not living vicariously through others or yourchildren

-- Embracing music, nature and the unknown

-- Having a pattern of healthy relationships NOTtoxic ones or NOT those that waste years of your precious time

-- “Choosing Wisely” for marriage and NOT beingwith someone who only makes you feel good

-- Not falling victim to any type of addiction

-- Having good friends who enhance your life, not thosewho dampen your spirit

-- Having a yearly men’s/women’s weekend – nospouse, no kids...only those friends who you enjoy spending time with

-- Embracing the good values taught by your parents

-- NOT being controlled by a bad or non-caringparent

-- Embracing a life of healthy eating and moderate exercise

-- Passion, Enthusiasm, Boundless Energy, Positivity and Gratitude

-- Know how to relax and taking time to relax

-- Being focused, having a direction and setting goals

-- Loving deeply

-- Having FUN........one of the most important

-- Teaching one's children with love, discipline and boundaries

-- Living outside of your birth country for a few years

The aforementioned list is not the “bible” of what oneshould do nor does one have to embody the entire list. In myopinion, embracing some or many of these elements can help one lead a balanced,low stress and enjoyable life – the kind of life that leads to longevity.

You may have a different set of criteria or not even careabout CYA. There are different strokes for different folks.

Also, one can find many ways to effectively lead the lifethey envision or desire…BUT it’s hard to implement if you’re not controlling youragenda. And it’s almost impossible to reach one’s dreams if one doesn’t have agoal or direction.

Some final questions:

A) Areyou in the “would have, should have, could have” crowd?

B) Areyou leading an unfulfilled or complacent life?

C) Areyou not living up to your potential?

D) Isyour world uninspired?

E) Areyou unhappy?

F) Areyou unmotivated in your job?

If you can answer NO to all of the questions, keep doingwhat you are doing.

If you answered YES to any of the above, chances are thatyou are not adhering to CYA, or in simple terms, NOT knowing what you want inlife, NOT caring about what you desire or NOT doing what you want.

If you want to change your circumstances or outcome, CYA insome form or fashion must be top of mind.

I love the words from the song “Secret O' Life”:

And since we’re onlyhere for a while

Might as well showsome style

Give us a smile

(James Taylor)

How’s your style? Do you have one?

How’s your smile? Do you show it?

Finding your OWN style and doing it with a smile is a goodway to start “Controlling Your Agenda”. If you begin the CYA journey, life may startto bloom in ways you may have never imagined.

The late and brilliant Mr. Technology said it best in hisversion of CYA:

“Your time islimited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped bydogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't letthe noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And mostimportant, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow alreadyknow what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

(Steve Jobs)

Remember, if you’re not controlling your agenda, somethingor someone else is!

Control Your Agenda.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

He took CYA (Control Your Agenda) to its highest form.
Article on Jobs

Happy 25 Years to the 1986 UVM Alumni!

2011-10-16T23:48:00.000-07:00

Wow. 25 years has past since I graduated and left the comfort ofThe University of Vermont (UVM) and the often extraordinary fun that onlycollege can provide.

Interestingly, before I stepped foot on campus in the summerof 1982, I had a great feeling about my upcoming college experience andoverall, my 4 years lived up to my expectations.

My late spring visit to UVM was to determine if I wouldaccept their basketball scholarship offer.

Fortunately, I stayed with freshman basketball player BillBrown during my brief visit. He showed me a great time, introduced me to somenice people and took me downtown to get a taste of the nightlife UVM was knownfor. In addition, he was honest abouthis short time with the team which I appreciated. He’s been one of my dearest friends eversince.

After only a few days, I knew that this was the place forme.

Unfortunately, the basketball portion of my experienceturned out to be a low point for me (and many others) although I alwaysstayed positive and reminded myself that I was enjoying college for free – arare luxury.

During my senior year, the basketball team accomplished something courageous and important – afeat that paved the way for our great basketball success in the past 15 years. That makes me proud. A book on the teamand what occurred will be written in the future.

On my weekly blog, I’ve yet to write fully about my collegiate years as I want to dedicate the proper time and effort in order tocapture the essence of my experience. I plan to put pen to paper on UVM in thecoming year.

Since Michael Jackson was a big part of college (“Thriller” came out in my first year), I touched briefly on UVM in my article “My 3 Favorite Mike’s”. Below is a passage and the link:

First, imagine thisscene:

It's my freshman year in college as a Division 1basketball student-athlete. I have a free education due to a 4 yearscholarship. One weekend I go out with some friends to the local disco in town.Pretty young ladies are everywhere and I am on the dance floor rocking thenight away with one of them. The tune playing is Michael Jackson's BillieJean. At that moment, I felt like I was floating on a cloud! I said tomyself, "Ah,......this is the GOOD LIFE". I knew that the night, therest of year and my final three years would be something special. And were theyever - I soaked up college like a sponge and enjoyed moments that wereabsolutely delicious.

Micheal Jackson started it off for me that weekend and his music was ubiquitousduring my four years as I vividly remember dancing at parties to "ABC"or other great Jackson5/Michael tunes. In college, I don't recall an event or party that didn'tfeature at least one Jacksonsong.

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/11/my-3-favorite-mikes.html

Today, I only want to say THANK YOU to all those people who shared those magical moments with me and made mostinteractions warmly entertaining and/or interesting. Whether it was time spent with a senior in1982 or a freshman in 1985 or those in between, the memories are fond ones.

To the 1986 Alumni, I know that many of you were able to goback to campus this weekend (25 year reunion) to share memories and enjoy thebeauty of our picturesque university. Ifnot, my hope is that you took a few moments to reminisce about our excitingyears from 1982 to 1986.

In my frequent conversations over the years with a variety of alumni (older and younger), only one person expressedunhappiness about UVM. She stayed less than a year at Vermont although I wish she had stayed longer.

Every other person (some graduated in the 50’s) spokeglowingly about their time at UVM which speaks volumes about our university. It was rare not to see a big smile onsomeone’s face as we talked.

I’m grateful for the privilege.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede and UVM graduate Jeannie (Picture by Bill Brown)

"Turn Down the Lights"

2011-10-09T00:11:00.000-07:00

The year was 2000 and it wasa bitterly cold November evening in Massachusetts. I was visiting my friend Sheldon and happy tobe heading to the warmth of a pre-holiday party in the heart of downtown Boston.

As we entered the apartment,I could sense something was amiss although I couldn’t put my finger on it.Everything seemed just right. The styleof the place was elegant, the crowd was diverse and interesting, the music waslively and the food was great.

We did the usual “meet andgreet” and then came a subtle yet powerful moment.

Engaged in small talk withthe host, Sheldon whispered to him, “Youhave to turn down the lights”. Hisdelivery was firm yet caring. Not muchmore was said and with Sheldon’s well-known social history, the host promptly acquiesced.

Now that my eyes were moreopen, it was unusually bright in the apartment and the moment could have easilybeen mistaken for a daytime party!

Once the lights came down,the mood and atmosphere immediately went up a level; an incredibletransformation – the final piece of theparty puzzle. Guests were more comfortablewith the dimly lit room and the vibe became magnificent. What a difference. Itwas a lesson I’ll never forget.

I’ve tried (and usuallysucceeded) to pay attention to detail when hosting or putting together eventsalthough this moment was profound. It became crystal clear how important it isto have all the party elements in sync not just 90%.

The lesson:

Whether it is a meeting, party or any type of event,make sure to do all the things (little and big) necessary to ensure the momentis the best it can be for the guests. Attention to detail is critical.

Elements like temperature, lights, food, space, musicand diversity (just to name a few) are crucial to get right.

The aforementioned party wouldn’thave been the same without Sheldon’s deft touch.

It was a wonderful evening.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

The atmosphere at our (Elmer, Roland and Gswede) 2006 Halloween party was electric!

Sweden’s Immigrants – Paradise Lost?

2011-10-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

A dear American friend sent me an article not long ago aboutimmigrants in Sweden.It captured the essence of many immigrants I know or have spoken with – anexperience in stark contrast to the pleasant life enjoyed by most Swedes.

This friend is married to a Swedish woman and lives in the USA. If he once considered moving to Sweden, I doubtit would ever happen now after hearing and reading over the years about what he could expect. Since he rarely sends me anything, I knew the articlehit a nerve.

The article was informative yet provided no surprises for meas I have lived and learned in Swedenfor nearly 8 years – first in Stockholm and nowin a smaller town in southern Sweden.My experience after 5 years can be found on the following link.

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/04/5-years-in-sweden-there-is-no-place-id.html

Since arriving in 2004, I’ve made it a priority to speak topeople I’ve encountered (including almost every immigrant) on my frequenttravels around Sweden. It’s been a wonderful way to learn more aboutthe culture from Swedes and the challenges from immigrants.

The immigrants who spoke with me came from variouscountries. Some were friends and clients while others were academics entrepreneurs,business people or strangers. A significant portion of stories I heard camefrom taxi drivers.

Interestingly, most were underemployed or unemployed.“Frozen” out of the job market was something the aforementioned article highlighted although it’sold news to me. Before I arrived in Sweden, I was fortunate to be toldhow difficult the job market would be.

Most immigrants were eager to speak with me. I got the sensethat some never had the chance to “exhale” and tell their story to a welcomingear. The experiences were vastly different and often compelling although eerilysimilar in two ways:

1) Themajority were glad and thankful that they had a comfortable life in Sweden – an existencemost confessed would be more challenging (and in some cases harsh) if they hadremained in their birth countries.

2) Whetherthey had lived in Swedenfor 2, 10 or 30 years, most were satisfied with life yet not happy.

The dismay about job conditions for immigrants that Imentioned earlier came from my conversations with ex-pats in Sweden before my wife and I movedhere. EACH person told me similar stories about how hard it would be to obtainquality employment along with other cultural challenges. Satisfaction reignedsupreme in their voices about Swedennot happiness.

Due to their forthright nature, I was prepared for theobstacles I would face. That made mytransition much easier. I’ve knownothers who were told the opposite (easy to find a job) before moving althoughthey spoke with Swedes beforehand not immigrants. You can imagine theirdisappointment when they thought it would be a “Cinderella” work experience.

There are exceptions to the rule in my inner circle –immigrants who are happy in Swedenalthough I hope that number will increase in future years. Most of the happy ones are blessed to havequality jobs and are very positive.

Fortunately, I’m happy. I was able to findthat rare employer willing to judge me on my merits and not the fact that I’mnot Swedish. Before I landed my job, it was tough on me as there were many jobsI was interested in yet never had the opportunity to have an interview Despite my tough beginning years in Sweden, I’mgrateful for my lovely life.

Here’s one of my interview experiences before I movedto Sweden:

I was excited eventhough I had those ex-pat voices spinning in my head. I had the interview whenmy wife and I visited one month before our move. It was pleasant, enjoyable andobvious that I was the most qualified candidate. The VD (CEO) of this very wellknown organization said after, “You have more experience than all of theother six candidates combined”, which was nice to hear. He later said, “I can’thire you because the employees wouldn’t be comfortable with a non-Swedishspeaker”. Keep in mind that everyone spoke English. That was a bitter pillto swallow as I could have helped them immensely despite the languagediscomfort but they were more concerned with what I call “Comfort over Improvement”in hiring; something that occurs far too often here in regards to employingforeigners.

Life is VERY good for a majority of the people living in Sweden – a Paradiseespecially if one compares it with other parts of the world. Our economy is strongand we are the envy of the business world due to our strong recovery from thefinancial crises.

For many immigrants, the word “Paradise” would never enterinto the conversation if they were describing their life in Sweden.

A few weeks back, I was talking to a intelligent immigrant taxi driver (9 yearshere) who was fighting the tears as he spoke of his journey. He informed me ofhis insane monthly hours and the meager pay he received for his driving efforts– shocking to say the least. According to him, it was the only job he was ableto get.

Other malicious things flowed out of his mouth as well –words that were frighteningly harsh. He’s a bitter man and displayed a rage Ihad never seen before; a rage that should worry Sweden.

After our 15 minute conversation, he said to me, “all of theimmigrants in Swedenare strangers. Some are treated better as I am sure you are coming from the USA or those from the UK. People like me (Middle East) or Muslims have a much tougher road tonavigate. But, remember, we are all strangers.”

Let’s hope we can all come closer together in future yearsas Sweden has so many positives (i.e. a great place to raise kids, safe,beautiful nature) although the black eye will always be present as long asqualified immigrants don’t have the chance to compete for jobs or feel as ifthey are “Strangers in Paradise”.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

A moment of Paradise. (lovely photo by friend Patrick)

The Art of the Chill

2011-09-25T00:49:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, my lovely wife said to me, “You’re good atchilling”.

She has always known that although seeing me in my robe, onour country house terrace, reading a book as kids pranced around helped to giveher the ultimate Gswede “chill” perspective.

My response to her:

“You’re right, I’ve always been.”

Chilling (or in non-slang terms, relaxing) has beenprominent in my life for as long as I can remember.

I’ve always enjoyed my daily “Me Time” or being alone torelax my mind, body and soul. I alsofind moments to relax on the rare occasions when I’m around stressful people orchaotic situations. My life wouldn’t beas serene without the precious time I make to relax.

Even when you’re not alone, it’s not difficult to relax ifyou know how to do it.

Even with small kids, it’s possible although you need to bea “Michael Jordan” level relaxer to accomplish that. Some of my best and most relaxingmoments have been alone with my children.

Deepak's words convey the importance::

Relaxation is the prerequisite

For that innerexpansion that allows a person

To express thesource of inspiration and joy within

(Deepak Chopra)

The happiest and most well adjusted friends/acquaintances inmy inner circle are master relaxers. They inspire me.

In addition, (and maybe most importantly), they are relaxedaround their children which can only be a positive for nurturing a low stressand well balanced child

The aforementioned group also takes care of themselves FIRSTas they know that they are able to serve others best if their soul is joyfuland their mind clear despite life’s challenges. If you asked them what are their top priorities, making time to relaxwould be near or at the top of their list.

As we all have seen, some people never seem to relax whichprobably stems from a variety of elements including but not limited to growingup with parents who more often than not kept them “doing something” instead ofletting them learn to discover the beauty of relaxation or being a bit bored.

Boredom is something we all have to confront in life yet somany modern day parents with young children choose to keep their kids doing, doing and doing insteadof giving them the freedom to deal with boredom or discover the adventure of life on theirown.

In my opinion, one of the best ways to relax is to let the “ToDo” list wait. Doing so may ruffle some feathers or not sit well with thehusband or girlfriend so keep that in mind.

That “To do” list will always be full in our hectic worldsso why not take the chance now and then to relax (especially if alone)instead of laborinng with tasks that are often tedious.

You might not want to take the “The Art of the Chill” to mylevel though as my wife recently said, “Sometimes you chill TOO MUCH”. She’s right.....I need to work on that!

If you’re not someone who has mastered “The Art of theChill”, I implore you to improve or seek help to learn. If you can’t relax, what message/lesson do youthink that sends to your children and/or loved ones? And we know that being unable to relax isn’ta positive for anyone’s health.

If you care about “expressing the source of inspiration andjoy within” that Deepak so eloquently writes about, then relaxing needs to be apart of your daily life in some form or fashion.

If not, your true happiness will probably stay hiddenbeneath the surface and your soul will be bubbling with anticipation for thejoy to emerge.

One way to relax is to “Master your Me Time”. A link to my article on the subject is below.

Master your "Me Time"

Whatever you choose to do, if you care about YOU, find a wayto relax.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede basking in the warm sunshine on a lovely Swedish late afternoon.

Severely Disabled yet on the Treadmill

2011-09-18T06:02:00.000-07:00

I found myself at the gym on 3 consecutive days last week. I wasinspired to get into better shape by my wife as she is very consistent with herexercise. I’m fortunate in that myweight doesn’t fluctuate, my health is terrific and I feel good almost everyday despite inconsistent exercise.

Consistency is my aim as I know I can feel even better if Iexercise more frequently. My body is already starting to feel stronger.

On the third day, a BIG dose of inspiration hit me. It was a“wow” moment.

It was 8am and I was warming up on the treadmill before myworkout. The gym wasn’t crowded so it was easy to notice people. I saw a guy come up to the treadmill who was mentally andphysically disabled. I’ve never seen someone in his severe condition at any gym.He could barely walk on his own so his friend was guiding him.

Not soon after, he was on the treadmill doing his morningworkout. What an inspiration! He was going along at a decent pace consideringhis limitations. Later, I saw him downstairs attempting to do some other exercises.

I couldn’t help but think of the times I’ve a) been too lazyto run or b) not gone to the gym or worked out because I was tired. Afterseeing him, I hope those “lazy moments” disappear forever.

After a friend heard about this brief encounter, he wrotethe following:

“Iuse to work with the Special Olympics and these special groups of people aretruly inspiring. You will be surprised how much you enjoy working with them andhow you will build some special relationships that you would truly cherish.”

I’ve read or seen many stories aboutSpecial Olympics although it was good to get that encouragement from someonewho has previous experience.

His encouragement went further:

“Iwould definitely think about doing some things with the special needspopulations or the mentally disabled and mentally ill with your sportsbackground.”

I do have some experience in thatarea as I’ve worked with a special needs 7 year-old boy for sixmonths at his school. It was a tough yet worthwhile adventure. I learned quitea bit about myself and gained a better understanding of what individuals like himgo through on a day to day basis.

Inspiration comes in many forms. Thispast week was a trifecta - (wife’s exercise consistency, disabled man’sability and friend’s encouragement).

Three days in the gym and threedoses of inspiration. Life is good.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

The Moat at a couple's castle - A lovely Sunday afternoon in southern Sweden

If Helped, Return the Favor when Asked

2011-09-04T06:40:00.000-07:00

Few things in life irritate me. This is one that does.

Recently, Friend A askedFriend B for a minor favor – a favor most of us would have done without blinking an eye. Instead, Friend B selfishly voiced major complaints beforefinally agreeing to do it. I was beyond surprised that he didn’t freely andimmediately say yes as Friend A helped him in a MAJOR way previously.

Without the help of Friend A, Friends B’s enormous taskwould have been much tougher and the outcome wouldn’t have been nearly as nice.He obviously didn’t appreciate what Friend A had done for him.

To put things in perspective without divulging theirdetails, what Friend A was asking for was the equivalent of borrowing a car forone day while the major favor Friend B received from Friend A was equal to acar being loaned to him for six months.

I confronted Friend A and asked, “Why didn’t you mentionwhat you did for him” as I knew that would enlighten his selfish act and makehim act respectfully. Friend A wasn’t comfortable doing that.

My philosophy has always been:

If someone has helpedyou or been good to you in the past, you do everything in your power to helpthem when asked. You might not be ableto fulfil their need although the effort should always be made.

You would be surprised how many times I’ve seen or heard ofa person unwillingly to help someone who has helped them in the past.

Fortunately, I’ve only experienced it a few times. In thosemoments, I warmly and directly reminded the people what I had done for themin the past – kindnesses that usually required more effort than what I wasasking for. After those conversations, I had no issues with the help I needed,including future requests.

The majority of people I’ve helped have bent overbackwards to assist me when asked. And I have done the same for those who havebeen good to me or simply provided a helping hand to someone in need. Helping one another isa beautiful thing and something that is essential to moving forward in our busy and often complexworlds.

What I don’t mean to convey is that those you’ve helped oweyou something. They don’t. Helpingpeople is what we should all do more freely and consistently. But, when you ask for their help, they shouldbe there with open arms.

One favor I needed (since I was asked for help) stilltouches my heart. A few years ago, I asked a friend in the USA for a favor– something that had to be done quickly.

The request was to deliver flowers to a woman who was visitingNYC for a cancer treatment. Another friend in Sweden was close to the woman (andher husband) yet had no way to have them delivered fast and inexpensively. Heasked for my help because of my Manhattanconnections.

I immediately got on the phone with my NYC pal and he spranginto action without hesitation; not only buying and delivering the roses but doing so with styleand grace. The couple was touched that my friend in Sweden had thought of her and I wasimpressed by the eloquence of the delivery. I heard it was a lovely moment.

Helping people is what life should be about. Do it wheneverand wherever you can. Even be pro-active sometimes by offering help before youare asked.

If someone has been good to you in the past or helpedadvance your being in life, don’t disrespect yourself or that person by NOTbeing open to assisting them if asked. It’s the right thing to do.

“People nevor forget that helping hand especially when timesare tough” -- (Catherine Pulsifer)

Happy Gswede Sunday!

My son and friends excited before the summer circus in August!

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish

2011-08-28T01:30:00.000-07:00

In light of Steve Jobs recent resignation as CEO (he's still Chairman) of Apple, I recently viewed a wonderful commencement speech he gave at Stanford in 2005.

It's not flashy although he makes some insightful points and offers wise advice. A great speech for anyone to see yet particularly important for our future generation - the YOUTH around the world.

My friend Brian eloquently described his talent this way:

"First there was Henry Ford; revolutionary, visionary, changed not only the game, but the rules and the playing field. Then Steve Jobs; revolutionary, visionary, changed the game, the rules, the playing field AND got just about everyone to come and join the game."

This description (from NY Times) is my favorite and captures the essence of the man::

"Even when Microsoft or Google or Hewlett-Packard tried to mimic Apple’s every move, run its designs through the corporate copying machine, they never succeeded. And that’s because they never had such a single, razor-focused, deeply opinionated, micromanaging, uncompromising, charismatic, persuasive, mind-blowingly visionary leader."

http://pogue.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/08/25/steve-jobs-reshaped-industries/

I don't think we will see anyone come close to his genius in my lifetime. The title of my blog, "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish" will make sense once you watch the 14 minute video.

The link is below:

Steve Jobs Stanford Commencement Speech in 2005

Happy Gswede Sunday!

An old Mac I saw in the office of a technology professor earlier this year

Sense and Sensibility – President Bush (The Elder)

2011-08-21T14:47:00.000-07:00

The NY Times writer and author Thomas Friedman is rarely off point.

His article on George H.W. Bush (fatherof our recent president) will not disappoint those who appreciate hiswisdom and insight. It’s refreshing and shines a light on a man who as Friedmansays (and I agree), is “underrated”.

Some may be surprised by Bush Sr’s actions in office:

1) He wasn’t afraid to raise taxes despite saying that hewouldn’t. His common sense prevailed unlike many American “conservatives on theright” today.

Friedmanquote:

Despitehaving run on the promise of “Read my lips: No new taxes,” when the deficitstarted spiraling to dangerous levels under his presidency, Bush agreed to acompromise with Democrats to raise several taxes, along with spending cuts, aspart of a 1990 budget deal that helped to pave the way for the prosperity ofthat decade. It definitely hurt his re-election, but he did it anyway.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/31/opinion/sunday/friedman-bring-back-poppy.html?ref=opinion

2) After taking SaddamHussein out of Kuwait, hedidn’t wage war in Baghdad. As everyone knows,his son (George H. Bush.) started awar on the basis of information that has proven to be false. Again, a bigdose of sense by the elder Bush.

Friedman quote:
George H.W. Bush also believed that to bea conservative was to act with “prudence,” one of his favorite words and aphilosophy he demonstrated in foreign policy by deciding, once he defeatedSaddam Hussein in Kuwait,not to follow him to Baghdad.

In addition, he was sensible in embracingscience.

Friedman quote:
George H.W. Bush also believed in science. Howmany Republicans know that he and his aide Boyden Gray pioneered the use ofcap-and-trade to deal — very effectively — with the problem of acid rainproduced by power-plant emissions?

I find it hard to look at today’s G.O.P. withoutthinking how far it has drifted from the kind of balanced conservatism theelder Bush brought to politics. Today’s G.O.P. has gone from espousingcap-and-trade to deal with pollution to espousing the notion that all theworld’s climate scientists have secretly gotten together and perpetrated a“hoax,” called climate change, in order to expand government — all of this at atime of record heat waves and climate disruptions.

Not all of Bush’s actions were of the sensiblekind. A stain that Freidman failed to mention is the William Horton drama– a campaign ad instrumental in helping Bush win the White house.

For those unfamiliar, it was a TV campaign showingprisoners going in and out of a revolving prison door. The ad’s intention was toshowcase the “light on crime” record of Michael Dukakis (1988 Democrat Presidential Nominee). William Horton wasserving a life sentence when he was released on a weekend parole program duringthe Dukakis administration in Massachusetts.While out, he attacked a white couple. Eventhough many didn’t like this type of racial and fear-based advertising, it was veryeffective.

A quote about and link to the “Revolving Door” adis below:

This stark and unsettling ad from the Bush campaign doesn't mention thenotorious escaped convict William Horton by name. (Although he went by William,the Bush campaign referred to him by the less respectable name “Willie”).However, with its release just a few weeks after the independently financed ad"Willie Horton" had generated controversy and national presscoverage, the connection was clear. Under the direction of campaign managerRoger Ailes, Dukakis was linked with the case of the African American felon whofled Massachusetts during a weekend furloughand attacked a young white couple in Maryland.
http://www.livingroomcandidate.org/commercials/1988

Bush’s main strategist, the late Lee Atwater was aprimary force behind the campaign. It seemed to work brilliantly asDukakis lost his double digit lead from the summer of 1988 – and subsequentlythe election. Atwaterlater apologized for the ad which is a good thing.

A few quotes are below:

Dukakis is the person to whom Atwater most famously apologized, in astartlingly candid, first-person piece in Life magazine published twomonths before his death.

Atwater recounted how, speaking of Dukakis during the '88 campaign, hepromised to “strip the bark off the little bastard” and “make Willie Horton hisrunning mate.”

Then he said: “I amsorry for both statements . . . the first for its naked cruelty, thesecond because it makes me sound racist, which I am not.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20060519/news_1c19fixin.html

In my opinion, presidential nominees should stayaway from this kind of racial advertising – messages that play to the fears ofthe misguided, uneducated or hateful.

From the aforementioned points above, Bush Sr. wasa president who made decisions based on logical insight and most importantly,decisions that kept the best interest of Americans in mind. We could usesome of his prudence today.

William Horton aside, many of his actions were sensiblealthough I doubt he would fare well in the current Republican Party, whoseshining stars (Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman and Rick Perry) are more suitedfor a comedy tour. In 2011, far too many conservatives and/or Tea Partysupporters seem to care less about the country and more about keeping Obama outof a 2^nd term.

Any intelligent or compassionate person knows thatin order for Americato begin to rise out of the financial ashes, taxes MUST be raised. Judging from his past history, Bush Sr. would probably be in agreement with atax increase in 2011, unlike his son, who kept taxes low while authorizing twowars.

Even the “Gipper” and most beloved conservative (President Ronald Reagan) raised taxes!

Who on the conservative or Tea Party side will becourageous enough to show some or any of the sense and sensibility of George“Poppy” Bush?

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Another George (aka Gswede) enjoying the Good Life in Sardinia, Itlay - June 2011

Sweden’s Strong Economy

2011-08-07T01:44:00.000-07:00

The overarching lesson the Swedesoffer is this: When you have a financial crisis, and Sweden had a nasty one in the early1990s, learn from it. Don’t simply muddle through and hope that growth willeventually return. Rather, address the underlying causes of the crisis tocreate an economic and financial system that will be more resilient when badtimes return.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/five-economic-lessons-from---sweden-the-rock-star-of-the-recovery/2011/06/21/AGyuJ3iH_story.html

-----

I’ve been singing the praises of the Swedish Economy (and some of our greatbenefits) for years although it’s not easy to explain to those who don’t livehere. The quote above begins to clarify why Sweden has risen above the globalfinancial abyss.

Without waxing poetic, I will let two articles speak forthemselves. They will provide some insight about how socialism benefits thosein Sweden with childrenalong with some facts about our strong economy.

1) Myarticle on parental leave. I had 5 months off from work TWICE – once with eachof my children! The link:

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/09/fathers-parental-leave-swedish-syle.html

2) TheWashington Post online article titled “5 economic lessons from Sweden – The Rock Star of the Recovery.”The lessons are below. To read the full story, click on the link above.

Keep your fiscal house in order when times are good, so you will have more room to maneuver when things are bad.

Fiscal stimulus can be more effective when it is automatic.

Use monetary policy aggressively.

Keep the value of your currency flexible.

Bankers will always make blunders; just make sure they don’t doom the economy.

It’s important to remember that despite having a greateconomy, not everyone is reaping the benefits, including some immigrants Iknow. A quote from one:

36 year old Immigrantfrom USA living in Stockholm:

“Amazing how stablethe economy is yet I know so many people who aren't employed or simplypartially employed.. wait they're not Swedes. Nevermind.”

It’s never paradise for everyone in a country although mostpeople in this country have a VERY good life – something I hope they aregrateful for.

I’m grateful.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

The Swedish Flag

A Negative Person No Longer in my Life

2011-07-31T03:14:00.000-07:00

As I’ve written on numerous occasions, NEGATIVE peopleshould not be in your life. They can be a drain on a positive force and theenergy they emit can be harmful to the soul. Occasionally, one has littlechoice (i.e. family members) although usually the decision is in your hands.

Recently, the wife of a friend wrote a negative andmean-spirited comment about me in a public forum – words that were unkind andhad a tinge of jealousy to them. I quickly responded to her with a positive yetclever line that put a spotlight on her disparaging comment. She had noworthwhile response after so she wrote “Whatever”.

Being a long time friend of her husband, one would think shewould show more respect. If her comment had been sarcastic or funny, I wouldhave embraced it. It bothered me becauseof its mean and negative nature. Publiclyor privately, most people I know would never use her words to another.

After our initial introduction over a decade ago,it was:

A) Irritating inthe way she frequently jumped into conversations to make her point, especiallywhen she was on the outside of the conversation.

B) Not fun tobe around her unpleasant nature.

C) Notsurprising when others expressed similar feelings about her.

Interestingly, her husband is a great guy - admirable andone of the most genuine men I know.

Some years back, she also spoke to my mother disrespectfully- words and tone. Her husband made her apologize immediately as heknew her words were inappropriate and unkind. My respect for him grew even morewhen I heard about how he handled the incident. Actions like hers should never be tolerated.

Since I carry no hate in my heart, her positive side must bebrought to the surface. She’s been married a long time and they have kind andwell adjusted children. I’ve rarely met children as pleasant. Collectively,they have created and nurtured a beautiful family.

I realize that I will encounter her in the future as myfriendship with her husband will not be broken although my correspondence withher online or by phone will not emerge again. It’s a shame as she has displayedsome friendly moments in our infrequent banter online.

I’ve rarely encountered a person with such negative energy. For all practical purposes, she is no longer in my life.Negativity (even small in size like this incident) wields a silent dagger and Iwon’t allow it to grab hold of me.

I’m hopeful that she is humble enough to change or get help one day. She has aplethora of blessings and a life to be grateful for. If she’s not careful, her dispositioncould dampen or spoil the quality life that she has worked so diligently tocreate.

I wish her well.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

A beautiful fountain on the campus of Lund University, Sweden

Only Love Can Conquer Hate

2011-07-24T14:48:00.001-07:00

After seeing the aftermath of the Oslo, Norway bombing on TV and hearing about the people who were gunned down at a Norwegian youth camp on Friday, I immediately thought of the profound Marvin Gaye song “What’s Going On”.

Similar thoughts echoed in my mind on 9/11 in New York City as I was there on that horrific day. Those lyrics helped to sooth my soul in my Brooklyn apartment that morning.

When our complex world rears its ugly head, a song’s eloquent words can be uplifting.

Father, father
We don't need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9KC7uhMY9s
(video of Marvin singing)

The terror could be as large as the 2004 Madrid, Spain bombing or Oklahoma City, USA in 1995. Or it might arise insidiously, like the evil nature of numerous banking organizations - companies that were instrumental in creating the worldwide financial crises. It could be the racism of a father who threatened to disown his daughter if she continued to see me or the evilness shown between members of the same family. It could also be the hate of a dictator ruining a nation or a government that cares more about its wealthy citizens than the vast majority of poor/unemployed people.

We won’t all agree on the whys of such hate and terror although it's safe to say that people who engage in these types of evil acts probably didn’t receive enough love in their childhood or formative teenage years.

When people want to know what they can do to help improve the world or contribute in times of crises, I usually let them know that loving more frequently or deeply can help our children, families, friends and the world in ways we might never imagine.

I’m a loving man who was fortunate to have loving parents although I know I need to do more……we all need to do more. Giving of one’s time or financial donations to those less fortunate is crucial although providing love consistently throughout our daily lives is just as important.

Unfortunately, terrorism is here to stay and hate will always be around. So what can we do to combat it?

Love.

In my opinion, the most important act of love for fighting hate is to ensure that we are loving our own children as much as possible so they will be grow up to be good, secure and happy people - individuals that will make positive contributions in their future years.

Secondly, we must be aware of our daily actions. We should be more conscious of how we treat people whether we know them or not, the manner in which we judge others, the way we use our words (verbally or written) and the impact we have on our children or youth. You can always look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Am I loving enough?”

The little acts of love can mean a lot.

Recently, I've been giving my young son and daughter a kiss and hug every morning when I wake up. I haven’t always done that but I plan to make it a ritual. That little act of love usually brightens up both of our days and can only help in making my children more loving and secure.

Big acts of love are a necessity as well especially with positive leaders that can make a difference. Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela changed our world for the better and the central theme of how they went about helping others and fighting inequality was based in love. Mandela spent 27 years in jail and came out a loving man; that fact is never far from my mind and inspires me.

Where are the future Dr. King's and Mandela’s? Are they even out there? We may never see men with their loving power again although we need courageous and ethical leaders who can fight for the injustice and hate that is far too prevalent around the globe.

When the world makes you wonder “What’s Going On”, fight back with a tiny, small or big dose of LOVE in any way you feel might make a difference. Love your children, Love others and spread Love whenever and wherever you can. In addition, be grateful for the love you have in your life - as we know, it can be gone in a heartbeat.

So many lost souls slip through the cracks and into the abyss when all they might have needed was the comforting touch of a caring person in their life.

If you know a troubled soul (family or otherwise) that can be helped by your intervention, don’t be afraid to lend a helping hand. Your outreach may push him/her in a positive direction and prevent them from committing future acts of violence like the gunman who killed those innocent souls in Norway.

Marvin on judgement:

Father, father, everybody thinks we're wrong
Oh, but who are they to judge us
Simply because our hair is long
Oh, you know we've got to find a way
To bring some understanding here today

I implore you to listen to “What’s Going On” (video link above) and remember to keep love glowing brightly and passionately in your heart.

Only Love can Conquer Hate.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Joe and the Juice

2011-07-17T09:11:00.000-07:00

Famished and walking to mylate morning flight at Copenhagenairport, all I could think about was getting some food in my system. Fortunately, I stumbled upon a sandwich andjuice place called “Joe and The Juice”.

It was sizzling from thestart:

-- Young, hip andpersonable staff

-- Spacious andstylish dining area

-- Soulful music

-- Great selectionof drinks and food

The ambiance and welcomingstaff made me think to myself, “I’m glad I chose this place”.

Most importantly, the foodwas fresh and super tasty. My tuna mix, raspberry/apple/ginger smoothie andlatte gave my soul the boost of energy it so desperately needed. I stayed anextra 30 minutes just to soak in the atmosphere.

More companies need to focuson the customer, especially if they are interested in long term success. Atthis location, Joe and The Juice exquisitely show what a great consumerexperience should be.

I’ve been back several timessince and was equally as impressed.

If you find yourself near alocation (Denmark and United Kingdom), I implore you to visitand welcome the experience.

Joe and The Juice link

You won’t be disappointed.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

My delicious latte that morning!

An Article EVERY Parent Should Read

2011-07-10T07:33:00.000-07:00

This insightful article was published 4 years ago by the Washington Post yet couldn't be more timely for the modern day parent. I love this quote:

"Let's shore up boundaries and let them be kids in the kid zone. And let's allow them to experience some of life's disappointments. Let's talk on the phone and go out on weekends with our friends. Let's start worrying less whether our kids are happy all the time and more about whether we are enjoying them and ourselves. Let's get a life in the parent zone."

The article (and link) is below in its entirety.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
-----

A Lost Art: Instilling Respect

By Patricia Dalton

Special to The Washington Post
Tuesday, September 11, 2007

There's been a fundamental change in family life, and it has played out over the years in my office. Teachers, pediatricians and therapists like me are seeing children of all ages who are not afraid of their parents. Not one bit. Not of their power, not of their position, not of their ability to apply standards and enforce consequences.

I am not advocating authoritarian or abusive parental behavior, which can do untold damage. No, I am talking about a feeling that was common to us baby boomers when we were kids. One of my friends described it this way: "All my mother had to do was shoot me a look." I knew exactly what she was talking about. It was a look that stopped us in our tracks -- or got us moving. And not when we felt like it.

Now.

These days, that look seems to have been replaced by a feeble nod of parental acquiescence -- and an earnest acknowledgment of "how hard it is to be a kid these days."

In my office, I have seen small children call their parents names and tell them how stupid they are; I have heard adolescents use strings of expletives toward them; and I remember one 6-year-old whose parents told me he refused to obey, debated them ad nauseam and sometimes even lashed out. As if on cue, the boy kicked his father right there in the office. When I asked the father how he reacts at home, he told me that he runs to another room!

It came to me like a lightning bolt: Not only are the kids unafraid of their parents, parents are afraid of their kids!

What ever happened to the colorful phrases our parents relied on to put us in our place? "Keep your shirt on." "On the double." "What do you think we are, made of money?" "Because I said so." "If you want sympathy, look it up in the dictionary." Or one of my personal favorites: "Don't bother me unless you're bleeding," which a friend's mother said to her six kids when she sat down to read before dinner.

The Honor Is Yours
Today's generation of children is the most closely observed, monitored, cherished and scheduled in our history. They are also the most praised. Families are smaller, and there are fewer children upon whom parents can beam their attention.

Today there are moms and dads who aren't just parents -- they believe in "parenting." They read volumes and volumes about how to be good parents and view parenting as both an art and a science that must be studied and updated and practiced self-consciously. Letting children run around the neighborhood and be bored some of the time is anathema to them.

Many parents these days don't expect their children to contribute much around the house, although they do expect them to achieve outside the house. They have strong beliefs about what makes children successful and happy-ever-after, and underpinning those beliefs is the concept that they -- the parents -- are all-important in this quest. Such parents believe that self-esteem is the key to lifetime success, and to this end they compliment their children a lot.

They are egalitarian, and they believe families should be democracies. Needless to say, they don't give orders. They believe that children will do things when they are ready to. They ask their child politely if he or she will do something and are surprised and dismayed when the response is "no."

It's as if parents have rewritten the Fourth Commandment to read, "Honor thy children."

And, boy, are they paying for it.

When a teacher, pediatrician or therapist suggests that perhaps these "parenting" behaviors are not helping but in fact causing harm, such earnest parents can be hard to convince. They don't want to have to hear that their New Age concepts for raising kids not only do not work, but actually are prescriptions for disaster.

'Scrumptious'? Please.
Let's take the constant parental praise. I first noticed it when my three children were small, and I would hear mothers lauding their kids' incredible artwork or rich vocabulary. I can recall one mother who brought her 6-year-old to my office after the school observed some social difficulties. "Isn't she scrumptious?" she said, in front of her beaming daughter. (I made a mental note to myself: This may be part of the problem.)

After all, there is a difference between appreciation, which is from the heart, and flattery, which is from the mouth.

Starting in the mid-1990s, a team led by psychologist Carol Dweck did a series of experiments on fifth-graders over a 10-year period. One study compared two randomized groups of children in a classroom setting. In one group, researchers attributed children's achievement to their effort and in the other to their intelligence. Those praised for their hard work, it turned out, were more likely to attempt difficult tasks and performed better than those praised for intelligence. Children who were told that innate intelligence is the key were less likely to expend effort and take risks, perhaps because they were trying to maintain an image that they felt was not under their control.

A later study that Dweck conducted among seventh- and eighth-graders confirmed these findings and found that an effort mind-set also led to higher achievement, as measured by math grades.

More-serious concerns were raised by a 1996 review of 200 studies on self-esteem by Roy Baumeister, a psychologist at Florida State University. Rather than promoting success, he found that an "unrealistically positive self-appraisal" was linked to aggression, crime and violence.

It all makes a therapist long for the days of the good old inferiority complex. And for parents who could put children in their place. Some interesting research on interpersonal attraction has shown that self-confidence in combination with some degree of vulnerability makes a person more appealing to others. Unshakable self-regard is a liability. And dominance is the kiss of death.

Over-parented and under-disciplined children can also have trouble later as young adults with the process of separating from home and creating an independent life. Kids who were constantly praised often become thin-skinned adults who have trouble taking negative feedback on their job or in their personal lives. And I have had more than one client over the years who was positively indignant when a boss expected him or her to be at work on time and to call in sick only when necessary.

Kids who were told, "You can do anything," may have extremely high expectations that can be hard to attain in our multifaceted modern lives. In her 2006 book, "Generation Me," Jean Twenge, a psychologist at San Diego State University, documented an enormous rise in young people's expectations from the late '60s to the late '90s. Twenge refers to a quote from the character Tyler Durden in the movie "Fight Club": "We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very [ticked] off."

Maybe it wouldn't be so painful if parents would sign on to the following manifesto: Let's expect more help from our kids around the house and withdraw some of our frenetic investment in their academic, sporting and social achievements. Let's shore up boundaries and let them be kids in the kid zone. And let's allow them to experience some of life's disappointments. Let's talk on the phone and go out on weekends with our friends. Let's start worrying less whether our kids are happy all the time and more about whether we are enjoying them and ourselves. Let's get a life in the parent zone. And last but not least, let's resurrect an old concept: Father and Mother Know Best. ?

Patricia Dalton is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Washington.

Link to "Instilling Respect"

A lovely path to paradise in southern Sweden

A Photo Capturing the Essence of Summer

2011-07-03T04:55:00.000-07:00

Since 2004, my wife and I have spent summers in a small village on the sea in southern Sweden. After the birth of our children, we continued to do so. The past few years, we have been spending them in our own country home in the village - located a one minute walk from the water.

It's a lovely and calm village with its own tennis club and golf course. In addition, one can kite surf, ride horses, feed sheep, jog on soft paths or simply relax on the white sandy beach. Since the age of 2, my wife has been fortunate to enjoy all her summers in this picturesque place.

In 2006, I took a random photo (below) that not only captures the essence of our summer but could serve as a postcard for the joy, beauty, freedom and relaxation that summer can provide.

It's one of my favorite photo's.

Livet är bra (Life is Good!).

Happy Gswede Sunday!

The coast of southern Sweden by the sea - Tuva and Alma in 2006.

Golf's Rory Mcllroy - Refreshing BUT he's no Tiger (or Jack)

2011-06-26T06:25:00.000-07:00

Tiger Woods hasn’t done many things right since returning to the comfort of the greens following his scandal although he did make a wise decision by dropping out of golf’s 111th US Open. If he had played, he would have surely been in the pack that got demolished by Rory Mcllroy.

With Tiger being injured and his future uncertain, golf needed to get some sizzle back and it appears that Mcllroy will help in that regard. He annihilated the field at the US Open earlier this month, played at Congressional Country Club in Maryland, with a dominating performance of -16 under par.

His stellar performance came on the heels of one of golf’s biggest chokes – Rory’s Masters implosion in April. After three and a half rounds of great golf, who will ever forget that day at Augusta, beginning at the 10th hole, when Rory hit a horrible drive that essentially sealed his defeat? He had a triple bogey and his Masters opportunity evaporated.

What’s refreshing about Rory is that he gained strength from that crushing loss and came out cool as a cucumber (and remained that way) for 4 rounds at the US Open. I was impressed as I never thought he would come back so strong. From humiliation at the Masters to slaughtering the entire field at the US Open says much about his demeanor despite his tender age of 22.

Keep in mind that Tiger never had a collapse remotely close to Rory’s in his entire career. What he did do was run away from the field at the 1997 Masters when he was younger (age 21) than Rory is now.

Will Rory be the next Tiger? I don’t think so. It’s understandable that golf fans and the media want some new pizzaz as TV ratings and tournament attendance suffer tremendously when Tiger isn’t playing. The pressure on this kid to try and fill that gap isn’t something I would wish on anyone.

Tiger’s 14 Majors at age 35 sets the bar too high. Does he have a chance to win multiple majors? Certainly. His performance in the last four Majors speaks for itself and shows that he is ready for prime time. Rory finished T3 in the 2010 British Open and PGA Championship. The Masters was a disaster but he came back strong to win the US Open.

Is he capable of being the next golf superstar? Absolutely. Some of his peers rave about his game in ways that sound similar to the old Tiger.

Here’s what Graeme McDowell (last year’s US Open Champion) said about Rory:
(It’s important to note that Graeme is one of Rory’s best friend’s and he hails from the same country, Ireland)

He's the best player I've ever seen,” McDowell said.

“I didn't have a chance to play with Tiger when he was in his real pomp, and this guy is the best I've ever seen, simple as that.

“He's great for golf. He's a breath of fresh air for the game and perhaps we're ready for golf's next superstar.

“And maybe Rory is it.”
http://msn.foxsports.com/golf/story/Dont-call-Rory-McIlroy-the-next-Tiger-Woods-061911

I never thought I would see another young person dominate a Major like Tiger did in 1997 although Rory has only won 1 Major Championship. In addition, he pails in comparison to Tiger’s results after his first 100 tournaments. The facts:

This was McIlroy’s 100th tournament as a professional on the US and European tours. He has three wins. After 100 tournaments, Woods had 28 wins and almost twice as many top-10n finishes.
http://msn.foxsports.com/golf/story/Dont-call-Rory-McIlroy-the-next-Tiger-Woods-061911

Not everyone is as thrilled about the crown being thrust upon Rory. Several golfers wrote interesting comments to me, with most being irritated at the media for the Tiger comparison after one big win. One comment is below:

Comment from "country club" golfer:
I readily admit that my thoughts on Rory McIlroy's win are "uncharitable", but i cannot help but think of Gerry Cooney as I watch the adoration and hope that is happening now. Rory seems like a great kid and a good golfer, but all of this excitement and comparison to Tiger seems to be fueled by the desire of the media (and all of my golfing buddies at my club) to find the anti-Tiger. Maybe 10 or 12 years of sustained excellence might warrant comparisons, but right now Rory is on a list that includes Louie Ouisthaven, Trevor Immelman, Charl Schwartzel, Lucas Glover, Martin Kaymer, Graeme McDowell, Stewart Cink, Angel Cabrera, Michael Campbell, Zach Johnson and Geoff Ogilvey.

Rory seems to be level-headed and appears to have a good team around him – two key elements for success in the precarious and tempting world of professional sports.

One thing is certain – Tiger’s quest to be the best isn’t any easier with Rory in the field. His presence should inspire Tiger to gain a better focus. If not, Tiger’s goal of winning 5 more majors may remain elusive.

Why Rory has a chance to be one of the greats in summed up by three-time Major Champion Padraig Harrington. Despite Harrington being another Irishman, his comments are sensible and on point unlike the aforementioned Irishman:

“I think Rory has set himself apart now,” he said.

“There might be people capable of winning a major, but there's not too many people capable of dominating and running away from the field in a major.”

It will be interesting to see how this all unfolds. Rory must stay grounded, focused and not let these silly Tiger Comparisons get the best of him. He should also know that it would be almost miraculous to do what Tiger did since 1997.

Let’s not forget about the longevity and excellence of Jack Nicholas, who won the most Majors (18), the last one at age 46. That record appears to be a struggle even for Tiger to reach now although I think he will surpass Jack before his career is over.

A couple of final points to ponder:

A) David Duval was #1 in the world in 1999 before Tiger began his assault on the record books. He won the 2001 British Open and was never the same after that huge win. His career Major Championship total = 1.
http://golf.about.com/od/golfersmen/p/david_duval.htm

B) Todd Hamilton won the 2004 British Open and is now ranked 199th in the world. He is an afterthought in golf. His career Major Championship total = 1.

I believe we will see much better results from Rory in the years to come but he’s no Tiger (or Jack).

We need to allow him to be Rory.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede at the golf range with friends in Copenhagen, Denmark.

Your Father - Embrace What You Have

2011-06-19T00:32:00.000-07:00

There’s a moment of perfect bliss for everyone.

It could be a magical golf shot, a heartfelt moment with a best friend, precious time with a child, the euphoria from a great run, a moment of surprise, one’s wedding day, reading a touching book, winning an award or a kiss.

As a writer, I feel good about most articles I create yet there are always those that resonate incredibly with me while others impact the readers in ways I could have never imagined. The article I read this past week gave me that blissful feeling. I’ve never read a more profound article about a father.

The writer, Charles Blow (NY Times columnist) says this about his father:

He could relate to my brothers’ tactile approaches to the world but not to my cerebral one. He understood the very real sensation of touching things — the weight of a good wrench, the tension of a guitar string, the soft hairs on the nape of a harlot’s neck — more than the ephemeral magic of literature and learning.

So, not understanding me, he simply ignored me — not just emotionally, but physically as well. Never once did he hug me, never once a pat on the back or a hand on the shoulder or a tousling of the hair. I was forced to experience him as a distant form in a heavy fog, forced to nurse a longing that he was neither equipped nor inclined to satisfy.

My best memories of him were from his episodic attempts at engagement.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/18/opinion/18blow.html?_r=1&scp=4&sq=charles%20blow&st=cse

Even though his father had serious issues, "he wasn’t a mean man" writes the author. He goes on to say:

ALTHOUGH he had never told me that he loved me, I would cling to that day as the greatest evidence of that fact.

He had never intended me any wrong. He just didn’t know how to love me right. He wasn’t a mean man. I had never once seen him angry. He had never been physically abusive in any way. His crime and his cruelty was the withholding of affection — not out of malice but out of indifference.

One would have understood if he completely disengaged from his father as so many young and older people do who have the misfortune of a bad parent. Instead of becoming bitter growing up or distancing himself, the writer embraced the rare experiences he did have with his father.

Unlike the writer, my father was a good man although he wasn’t capable of giving me everything I desired (i.e. sports, modern wisdom for a teenager, etc) and that was okay. I got those things elsewhere. What he did give me was an abundance of love and support which I am grateful for. Even though we had our share of father/son struggles in my teenage years, our bond became much stronger as I grew into a wiser man.

Like the writer, I wholeheartedly embraced the times my father was capable of giving me. I was fortunate to have the best of both worlds as my first basketball coach (and mentor today) gave me high doses of the aforementioned elements that my father couldn’t provide.

Whether you father is seldom there, indifferent, good (but not great) or non-caring, you should gain strength and/or insight from the beautiful words in this article.

The writer eloquently describes the NEED we have for a father’s love:

It just goes to show that no matter how estranged the father, no matter how deep the damage, no matter how shattered the bond, there is still time, still space, still a need for even the smallest bit of evidence of a father’s love.

Charles Blow, this was your perfect story.

Have a wonderful Father’s Day (USA) and Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede enjoying the moment on the lovely coast of southern Sweden

A Magnificent Quote from the 30th President of the United States

2011-06-12T04:36:00.001-07:00

Yes, the 30th President has a cool name (Calvin Coolidge) although he is also known for some profound and important quotes.

After reading the quote below, my hope is that you will begin to grab the life that you want or start living the dreams that have been deferred. At the very least, it should inspire you. It continues to inspire me.

Maybe you already have persistence as a top characteristic although from my experience, far too many don't and live life for others thus neglecting their needs or don't feed their soul with their passions. A little persistence for what you want out of our short time on earth will go a long way in curing a misguided life.

Go after whatever you may desire with dogged persistence and determination. If there is a better way to live, I haven't seen it!

People often say to me, "I have no time to exercise or do the things I like" yet they find time to be on Facebook or watch TV - time that could be spent living your passion. I'm as busy as any person with a challenging job, spouse and two kids yet I find the time on a daily basis to do the things I'm passionate about - most importantly, my writing. Because of my determination in this area, I am a better father, son, husband and friend. I can't imagine a life without my "Me Time".

Remember, if you don't take care of yourself FIRST, how can you possibly be the most effective in looking after, uplifting or inspiring the loved ones in your life?

As President Coolidge said: "The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

Happy Gswede Sunday!
-----
“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

~Calvin Coolidge in 1932
http://calvin-coolidge.org/html/p.html

Swedish Strawberry - If there is a better Strawberry in the world, I would like to taste it!

Inspiration from NOT Being Called on Stage

2011-06-05T04:44:00.000-07:00

The early days of January 2009 were wonderful yet challenging. We were the proud parents of a month old baby girl and my wife was in the beginning of her maternity leave. The tough moment for both of us was my upcoming work conference which typically takes place in mid January. I had to be away for four days, leaving my wife to handle the responsibility for a newborn and our then almost 2 year old son.

The conference took place in Lisbon, Portugal (I know, not a bad place to be) and I wasn’t in a particularly festive mood as I missed my sales target for 2008. I could have taken comfort in my efforts that year because I was on parental leave for the first three months of 2008 – our key selling season.

I didn’t. Nothing is comforting to me about not hitting target.

I did take comfort in stabilizing important “building blocks” for future growth in my territory, yet all that lingered in my mind was the missed target.

Throughout our meetings, I couldn’t help but notice that one particular salesperson knew the product extremely well and had insightful and frequent comments at each session. What was most impressive was that he was young and a NEW salesman at the company! I was inspired.

At the annual awards dinner on a lovely Lisbon evening, I wasn’t surprised when he won one of the top awards for 2008, achieving 22% over his goal. The applause as he accepted the prize on stage was both heartfelt and well deserved. Again, I was inspired.

His moment in the sun was profound for me as I don’t recall ever being so inspired by the success of someone I didn’t know. His joy along with his wide smile as he walked on stage was infectious! That positivity exploded inside of me and I began to set my sights on 2009.

Soon thereafter, I said to myself, “George, I am going to be on that stage next year”.

The hard work, displine and focus began to payoff dividends almost immediately and by the summer of 2009; I knew my year was going to be strong. There was dogged focus on key elements to make my sales target and I was laser-like in going after other elements of my goals.

In addition to my commitment to success, I was fortunate in that there were few customer aspects that didn’t go my way or end on a positive note. 2009 was a fantastic year for me! I was well north of 40% over goal.

What made my success in 2009 that much sweeter was achieving it in only 8 months of work as I was on parental leave from late August 2009 to early February 2010.

The 2010 January conference was in Monte, Carlo, France – a place of great beauty. Since I was on parental leave, I could only attend for the day of the gala awards dinner. I was in the country for less than 24 hours yet happy to be there because I wanted to be with my colleagues to celebrate our team success! It was a joyous occasion as every member made their sales target.

During the evening, I knew I had a chance to win a top award with my high percentage over goal. It was a great year for many teams throughout Europe/Midde East/Africa so I expected any award to be won by a close margin. To my surprise, I won “Rep of the Year” – the annual award given to the top salesperson and the biggest honor of the evening. The euphoria inside my body was surreal. It was a sparkling moment and one of the brightest in my business career.

After the awards ended and the dancing had begun, one of the first people to congratulate me was the aforementioned salesperson. We shared a nice moment.

Sometimes in life, one must go through a little pain to get to a bigger pleasure. 2008 was painful as I have rarely missed a sales target in my long and diverse sales career. 2009 was one of the top pleasures of my life – a year I gain strength from.

I don’t know if I would have reached the heights of success in 2009 if it weren’t for the inspiration in Portugal from the young salesperson and for “not being called on stage”.

Inspiration is a beautiful thing.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

My mom in southern Sweden on a recent visit - A lifetime of inspiration for Gswede!

Love in its Purest Form

2011-05-29T01:37:00.000-07:00

Since professional and top amateur athletes tend to get a reputation for selfishness and/or being uneducated, it excites me when I read about a superstar who exemplifies the qualities of a kind, smart and well-round individual.

Most athletes aren’t “dumb jocks” – many simply don’t apply themselves in the real world. They receive more praise/perks/money than the common man thus often choosing to solely concentrate on the actions in their particular sport.

Consequently, far too many go through life with a mind or heart that is seldom used to its potential. In addition, the snowballs of temptation are constant and these men are often not prepared to deal with that precarious avalanche.

I write from experience as I played Divisional 1 Basketball for four years, getting to know some teammates and opposing players quite well during my collegiate days. I met men who had the world as their oyster yet failed to fulfil their dreams due to overconfidence, lack of applying their skills outside of basketball and most importantly, not utilizing the college scholarship as a stepping stone to even higher success.

Since a tiny percentage (3 of 10,000) of high school players will be drafted by a professional NBA team and only 3.1% of these athletes will play college basketball at a NCAA member institution (www.ncaa.org), a majority of them need to use the advantages of a free university education to secure a future life in the business world. Sadly, many don’t even graduate from college.

Chris Paul of the New Orleans Hornets is a person any mother would be proud to call their son. His basketball prowess aside, here is what the sportswriter Rick Reilly wrote in a recent column:

This is the kind of man Chris Paul is: He was president of his high school class all three years. When Lebron James’ girlfriend had a baby, James made sure Paul was there. He's so humble that if you didn't know who he was, you'd swear he was the pool man.

(http://espn.go.com/espn/print?id=6436820&type=story)

More from Reilly about Paul’s remarkable display of love:

This kid floors me. Not just with the way he can dominate an NBA playoff game at 6 feet tall in elevator sneakers. Not just for the way he can twist Kobe Bryant into a Crazy Straw. Not just for the way he'd rather pass through a doughnut hole than take the shot himself.

No, what floors me about Chris Paul is his humanity. If strangers had bound my weak-hearted grandfather, beat him for no reason and killed him for the cash in his wallet -- strangers who to this day have not shown a thimbleful of contrition -- I'd want them in prison 100 years after they were in the dirt.

Is there a love purer than what Paul has shown? In every article I have read on similar tragedies, there has never been a person who has displayed so much compassion and humanity for those who killed the person nearest and dearest to them.

Paul’s act should inspire everyone to be kinder, gentler and more loving to those close to us, those not so close to us, those we may not like and those random souls that pass in and out of our lives.

It has inspired me.

Stevie Wonder sang it beautifully in his timely 1977 song, “Love’s in need of Love Today” – I wrote an article about it in 2010. The link and a few lyrics are below:

Hate’s going round
Breaking many hearts
Stop it please
Before its gone too far

The force of evil plans
To make you its possession
And it will if we let it
Destroy ev-er-y-body

We all must take
Precautionary measures
If love and peace
You treasure
Then you’ll hear me when I say

Oh that
Love’s in need of love today

(http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2010/09/loves-in-need-of-love-today.html)

We may never reach the heights of love like a Nelson Mandela or a Chris Paul although I don’t think there are many of us who cannot improve upon the love in our hearts and minds, particularly when it comes to helping the less fortunate in our global world.

The next time you get angry or upset over some minor issue, think of Chris Paul and the love that he displayed after thugs killed his beloved grandfather.

What I have learned from Paul is that there are very few experiences in life that cannot be enhanced with love – even if only in small doses.

Dr. King said it best when talking about greatness, love and one’s soul:

Everybody can be great, because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.
--Martin Luther King

Happy Gswede Sunday!

An interesting 5 minutes of HAIL in southern Sweden - May 2011

Married Men Behaving Badly

2011-05-22T23:43:00.000-07:00

After the lengthy scandal of Tiger Woods along with numerous before him, I thought we might get a break from the sad acts of high profile men. Nope. We got a simultaneous bonus in 2011 – a movie actor and a government official. With the Terminator's recent admission and the IMF Frenchman’s arrest, I felt a compulsion to revisit temptation and the seemingly endless decline of the “Family Man”.

The former Mr. Olympia and Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger recently admitted to fathering a child outside of his marriage over a decade ago. His act was not surprising with his reputation of behaving badly with women. While a man should be innocent until proven guilty, Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s (DSK) life and career have been damaged forever with the rape allegations against him in New York City. His reputation with women is equally as disheartening as The Terminator's. DSK’s lawyers have suggested that if something did occur, it was consensual.

And it’s not only the powerful and privileged few who fall victim to these types of temptations. It occurs far too often in the lives of the common man:

Here’s a brief story of two non-celebrities:

1) A man with children (Mr. X) was unhappy in his marriage and nearly at his boiling point. Instead of confronting his wife about his displeasure, he decided to take the easy route out by having an affair. The unbelievable part of this story is that he knew the husband of his mistress yet decided to still play with fire – occasionally meeting her in his own home!

To make a long story short, the mistress became pregnant yet never delivered the baby. Mr. X is still married to his wife and seems much happier today. He was extremely lucky to get out of that situation relatively unscathed. At least he was smart enough to have “voices of reason” (including me) so our advice may have helped.

2) An acquaintance without children (Mr. Y) was miserable in marriage for a variety of reasons. In addition, he was living in a place where support and/or advice for him were limited at best.

In his unbalanced state of mind, temptation was too strong to resist and he succumbed to the fruit of a younger woman. Unlike the man above, his mistress had the baby and his world was instantly turned upside down. It was only a matter of time before the marriage ended in a bitter fashion.

Some friends lost respect for this man. Before his bad behaviour, I would have never envisioned him in this predicament as he is one of the most likable, smart and interesting guys I have ever been around.

Why is it that some married men give into temptation so easily? I realize that many have made an unwise spousal choice or can't deal effectively with the compromises of marriage although that doesn’t excuse throwing “caution to the wind”.

I’ve not heard of or seen many who had the courage to confront their spouse with their unhappiness instead of cheating. The few close friends who did, had a much better experience than the two aforementioned men. The truth may hurt a spouse although in the end, it usually is respected despite what circumstances may occur after.

We expect this type of bad behaviour on the hit show, “Mad Men” as Don Draper and crew make for good TV. In the real world, emulating the actions of the “Mad Men” posse is a true recipe for disaster.

--Men, we can be better. We should be better.

--Confront your unhappiness with words to your spouse not adultery.

--Work hard on being a good man.

--Men, think of your wife and kids before acting stupidly. Think about the message you are sending to your daughter and/or son.

--Embrace “Integrity” in your life.

--Think before you act.

--Men, stay close to the values taught by your parents.

--For those men or women who desire biblical inspiration, below is one of my favorite quotes – profound advice that I read on a consistent basis.

Run from anything that gives you evil thoughts.....but stay close to anything that makes you want to do right.
- 2 Timothy 2:22 (Living Bible)

--Men, can you honestly call yourself a “Family Man”? Most in my inner circle can which I am grateful for. If you can, are you living up to your expectations? If you can’t, what are you doing about it?

--Are you a “voice of reason” or an enabler to those friends around you who display this bad behaviour?

Finally, you can find my poem on temptation at the link below. The person that inspired it continues to inspire me as he has become a man I am proud of.

Including the word "family" in the original version might have enhanced the poem. If I had, the ending would have flowed like this:

Falling for the flesh
A pattern so hard to fight
If it came back to bite you
Would you then see the light?

Courage
Not Flesh

Honor
Not Flesh

Loyalty
Not Flesh

Family
Not flesh

Don’t fall for it.

--"Don't Fall for the Flesh"
(http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/04/temptation-dont-fall-for-it.html)

Over the years, I have called myself a “Family Man” to a select group of friends in order to convey my top priority and promote the values associated with it. At first there was some laughter but it soon became clear that the term was something I was proud to associate myself with.

I don’t want to the see these important words (Family Man) become a running joke although sometimes it seems like they already are.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

The "Sea of Temptation" is vast and often filled with serious consequences

My Lakers - Disappointed YET excited about 2012

2011-05-15T04:15:00.000-07:00

Here's a moment that put a dagger in my heart. A dear woman friend (Swedish) in the USA who has never critiqued my Los Angeles Lakers wrote:

"They didn't even bother to show up.... Bunch of ??????? (except Fisher);

I purposely left out the derogatory word as it's painful to read. Her "spot on" comment hit me like a ton of bricks. As a die-hard Lakers fan, that was a big dose of reality about their pathetic play.

Another moment that aptly describes this series was early in the 3rd quarter of Game 4. Laker Ron Artest had an open layup that would have cut the lead to 17 points. The momentum was in LA's favor as Dallas came out lazy in the 2nd half after a glorious first half of basketball. Artest missed the terribly easy shot and in an instant, the game was back to a 25 point Dallas lead.

Game and series over.

There was still a glimmer of hope when Artest choked yet his failure exemplified the consistently poor play of the Lakers throughout this series.

Magic Johnson (NBA Hall of Famer) couldn't explain the complete collapse of his beloved team. I can't. I don't think anyone can. There must be some underlying issue as I have never seen any legendary franchise compete this poorly in a playoff series. Is someone in the Laker organization dying and we don't know about it? That might explain a collapse of this proportion.

Whatever the reason, let's not forget that this Dallas team played extraordinary basketball. When two players hit 15 of 16 three-point shots as Jason Terry and Peja Stojakovic did in game 4, it's nearly impossible for an opposing team to get a victory.

For my Lakers to get blown out in this pivotal game 4 is embarrassing. As a fan who has been bleeding Purple and Gold for 32 years, it was painful to witness. It's happened to us before (Memorial Day Massacre) when Boston crushed us in Game 1 of the 1985 NBA finals although it was only one bad game. The Lakers recovered after that terrible defeat and went on to capture the 1985 NBA championship.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIja-CPHfUI)

Am I angry? A bit.

Am I disappointed? A lot.

Does it hurt? Sure does.

Am I excited for the 2011- 2012 season and beyond? Absolutely!

We have a proud and long history of success - namely 16 NBA titles and we will be back.

Mitch Kupcheck (Lakers GM) will have to make some tough choices in the coming months. In my opinion, every player except Kobe Bryant is expendable. I would love to see them make a serious effort for Dwight Howard of the Orland Magic and we have the players that others teams desire ( Gasol, Odom or Bynum) to make a deal like that happen.

After this disaster, we need new blood and that includes the coach.

Brian Shaw has been a faithful assistant to Phil Jackson for 6 years. In addition, he played on some great Laker teams and was a strong player and leader on and off the court. I hope they are smart enough to give the reins to him.

As for Dallas, the way they are playing gives them a great opportunity to win an NBA title. If they don't get their first championship, the heavy sweep of the Lakers won't mean much. It will just be another playoff failure for this solid organization. I wish them well as I am a fan of their owner, Mark Cuban.

For all the Laker Haters (and there are many), enjoy your time in the sun as it won't be long. The Lakers will rise again and compete for the 2012 NBA championship.

A personal thanks to the greatest coach of all-time, Phil Jackson. He guided this Lakers franchise to 5 thrilling championships in the last decade including last year's stunning victory over Boston - my personal favorite.

Kobe, get re-focused. NBA teams, watch out.

Laker Doubters, I look forward to smiling down on you with the NBA's O'Brien trophy glistening in the air as we hold it up for our 17th NBA title.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Phil Jackson and Kobe Bryant - Great memories and 5 NBA Championships.
(www. lakers.topbuzz.com)

A Poem for my Mother

2011-05-08T22:28:00.000-07:00

I’ve written several poem and/or letters for my mother over the years. She reminded me recently about one I wrote in high school – words I had forgotten about yet they still touch her heart decades later.

Earlier this week, she received a poem I produced for Mother’s day. Poetry doesn’t come easy for me although I enjoy the challenge and creativity of the process.

These 2011 words give a snapshot of my dear mother and how she raised me. 3 key elements of her parenting style were love, boundaries and discipline. In my opinion, one can’t go wrong with consistency in those areas.

From the moment I became a parent 4 years ago, it was obvious how important her teachings were……..and still are.

Poignant words from a favorite song should remind everyone how crucial it is to speak fondly to or write sincerely about those you care for:

So here's a few words from your kid brother
If you admire somebody you should go ahead and tell um
People never get the flowers while they could smell um
-- Kanye West’s “Big Brother”
(http://www.elyrics.net/read/k/kanye-west-lyrics/big-brother-lyrics.html)

Don’t be afraid to tell someone how much you care. Today, not tomorrow.

My poem titled, “The Love of my Mother” is below.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
-----

The Love of my Mother

Reflecting on childhood
Do you know what my fondest memory would be?
....Not gifts at Christmas
....Not nice clothes I wore
....Not early sports success
Two words – Love & Security

Is there anything warmer or more endearing
Than a child knowing their world is safe and secure?

With love and protection, I thought my life was the norm
Yet, seeing promising souls begin to disinigrate
Made me wonder, contemplate – now I was torn

What did I have that they lacked?
So I stayed on a focused path
It soon became obvious
As it wasn’t hard to do the math

Two capable parents
Taking their roles seriously
Loving me fiercely
Despite their marriage woes
The focus remained on me

My mother was the catalyst
Promoting education so I wouldn’t lose
On nights I didn’t have homework
She gave me her own; daring me to refuse

Basketball entered my world at 9
I was an instant success!
My mother’s mission didn’t change
Be kind, ambitious, work hard and do your best

A momentary lapse of boredom at 11
Made me the class clown
When mom was called to school one day
All I remember is the frown

Soon thereafter, I got simple advice
Direct words that were crystal clear
“If I ever come back to this school George,
Basketball is over my dear”!

One of many lessons taught early on
By a mother unwilling to waste my or her time
My antics quickly changed
Never again caught in a school bind

A popular high school athlete
Put on a pedestal for my basketball game
Praise and adoration were constant
Life would never be the same

Did my mom gloat, brag or make my ego swell higher?
Au Contraire
She kept educating and teaching
And chasing that goal, she never got tired

Because of her values, discipline and boundaries
Along with her loving care
Never doubted for a minute
That I would have a strong parental flare

Giving me the tools I needed
To be a good man, good husband and wise father of two
Now the ball’s in my court
To follow those lessons through

Even missing her only child in Sweden
Rarely getting to see his face
She keeps her head held high
Handling it magnificently…..with an eloquent grace

Marvelling at how well she taught me
With plenty of obstacles to bear
Never wavering, losing passion or complaining
Only persevering with a steady care

I’ve had an interesting, fun and dynamic life
Expecting no regrets until I die
Maybe her most important lesson lies in the confidence to embrace the bold words…..
I Believe I can Fly.

May 2011 in New England, USA - (Picture by Mia)

2 men who CHOSE UNWISELY in Marriage (Update)

2011-05-01T09:30:00.000-07:00

I’ve consistently told people that who you marry is the most important decision you will make in your lifetime.

A key element of the marriage process is choosing a spouse. In my opinion, it’s a choice that if made without careful evaluation of your needs and how that person fits those needs, usually results in an OK life at best or a life of complete misery in the worst case.

In a 2008 article titled “Losing your Life; All at Once or One Day at a Time”, here’s what I wrote about two friends who didn’t choose wisely in marriage:

Two of the most dynamic and appealing men I know are as they say, "caught between a rock and a hard place". Lately, they have been on my mind as they have common ground in life similarities and level of marital suffering.

I have spent quality time (infrequently) with both men and we share a friend dear to all of us. At a point in the near future, I hope they gain the courage and inspiration to change their lives and move forward in a positive and productive manner. My gut feeling is that they are getting little or no advice in order to improve their situation; something many people need, particularly in an unhealthy marriage.
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/11/losing.html

Th update:

Surprising no one and to my expectation, the first man and his wife are no longer together. Even though they have a child, there seems to be an amicable relationship with regards to raising the child in the most positive way. Because of the inauspicious beginning of their relationship, a life together would not have been pleasant; in some ways they were doomed from the start.

I haven’t talked with the second man in quite some time although we exchange emails occasionally. He is making the best of his situation.

During our last email conversation, I could almost feel the pain and frustration through his words. He knows he made an unwise marriage choice yet he is staying positive and doing what is necessary to make it work.

It’s admirable for him to stay with his family and young children as some men would have left the situation years ago. In my opinion, couples with young children should do everything possible to keep the family together as long as doing so is a positive for the children. Sometimes, splitting up is the best thing (like the aforementioned friend) although more often than not, couples need to try harder before ending a relationship.

Another passage from the 2008 article is below:

If asked, my message to them would be:

Although you made the mistake of choosing the wrong life partner, it is never too late to turn that negative into a positive. You are two of the most interesting men I know but you have built yourself a "house of cards", that while still standing, is not far from collapse. You must DO SOMETHING about it with regard to moving your life and the life of your family forward. There are only two paths to take; Attempting to gain your happiness back in marriage OR a journey in the other less favorable direction (divorce) which could actually be the best thing for everyone in the long run. Each day you "dangle in the wind" is another day of lost hope while the abyss gets deeper and deeper.
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/11/losing.html

Are you unhappy in your marriage? If so, what are you doing about it?

If you’re about to be married, have you thought carefully about your choice?

If you want to be married some day, do you know what you are looking for?

Whatever the situation may be, ACT NOW so you’re not stuck in a life of pain or a future marriage that you don’t desire.

My two friends made unwise marriage choices and have paid and will continue to pay the price for it. You don't have to make the same mistake.

Be Wiser.

Be Bold.

Know what you are looking for.

Evaluate.

Choose Wisely.

Think about what you really want before it’s too late.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

The Beauty of Spring in Sweden!

Our Country House – Worth the move from Stockholm!

2011-04-24T23:19:00.000-07:00

On a recent overnight trip to Stockholm for a 40th birthday party, the overwhelmingly repetitive question posed to my wife and I was.......”How do you like the south of Sweden?”

I didn’t know how to respond at first.

Life has been so busy (jobs, new day-care, new city, travelling, new house, etc) that we haven’t had much time to think about our big change from a city of millions to one with 100,000.

Upon further reflection that night, the answer started to formulate in my mind. One of the best benefits has been the luxury of going to our country home on weekends. We are grateful to have a quiet village getaway to free our minds from the hustle and bustle of the city. If we still lived in Stockholm, the best we could have hoped for was a visit 4-5 times year. Since moving late last year, we’ve already visited 10 times with a short 50 minute drive.

I had no idea that getting away from a typical “weekend routine” in the city and into the fresh county air would be so relaxing and calm; in some ways magical. The house is located in a small village full of beautiful nature - with a one minute walk to a lovely sandy beach. For walking or jogging, it’s a true paradise whether one does it on the beach or the soft earth paths.

This past winter was cold although the warmth of the crackling wood fireplace provided a cozy atmosphere. Despite the heavy snow, the scenery was often spectacular with glistening ice on the trees and beach.

The kids love the change of scenery on weekends as much or more than we do. When we arrived on a recent Friday night, my young son sprinted to his room with a joy that was infectious!

So how do we like our new life in the south of Sweden?

We are enjoying our new surroundings immensely as life is much simpler and easier than Stockholm in a variety of ways, not to mention the close proximity to Copenhagen, Denmark. I wanted to make the move to the south years ago so I am thrilled that it has become a reality.

My first couple of answers to the question that festive night consisted of the aforementioned “easier life” although after my epiphany, my standard response quickly changed to this one:

“Life is very good. Our country house “alone” has been worth the move from Stockholm”.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

An April view from the country house

My Favorite “Gswede Sunday” Articles – Year 1

2011-04-17T03:36:00.000-07:00

Last month was the 3 year anniversary of my blog (Gswede Sunday). When I began this writing experience in March 2008, I had no idea it would become my top personal passion. I love to write and it usually came easy to me although I didn’t do enough of it prior to my first article.

What’s interesting is that I started the blog in the midst of the busiest time in my life. I had a one year old son and another child on the way. In addition, my wife had a demanding job and I was in the 5th month of my half-year parental leave.

The biggest help came from my friend Sheldon, who gave me a gentle push; I started soon thereafter. He’s frequently encouraged me to give the world more of my thoughts as he usually enjoyed my philosophy on life. It was inspiring to get that final nudge from him!

It took some time to find my rhythm and style although the process was fulfilling. The challenge is still present to create a weekly story that I like which pleases me. I never want to feel too comfortable with the writing process.

Below are 15 (title, a quote and link) of my favorite articles from Year 1. Some tended to be more popular with my readers and those are included as well. If you have read some of my past articles, I want to thank you for taking the time out of your busy day. My appreciation runs deep for all my readers.

Finally, if what you love to do most is missing from you life, I encourage you to act on or find that passion today, not tomorrow. Being busy or not having time should not be an excuse. In conversations with friends throughout the years, it’s clear that “Me Time” frequently takes a backseat to the daily routines in life. In my opinion, doing what you love (if only for an hour a week) should always be in the driver’s seat!

My life has improved immeasurably from my weekly blog and it’s one of the biggest joys in my life. I cannot imagine a life without putting pen to paper.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
--
Are you Better off now than you were 4 Years ago? – March 23, 2008

A quote:
Life should be about progressing and improving in the aforementioned areas but sadly far too many people don't examine their life at all. No one can be great in all these areas but these are key areas to look at, work on and monitor for success and happiness.

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/03/are-you-better-off-now-than-you-were-4.html
-----
CHOOSE WISELY for marriage – March 30, 2008

A quote:
A successful friend (and good man) didn't choose wisely when he met and married a woman that was not someone he was really interested in or anything like the women he had dated before. He now has a child and is a shade above miserable although he puts on a good face. Sad thing is, he knew better and always chose wisely in the past. A weak moment may cost him a lifetime of pain.

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/03/choose-wisely-for-marriage.html
-----
Ken Mack - A Unique Perspective on Barack Obama – April 20, 2008

A quote:
Ken's success has never surprised me. Like Obama, he is smart, focused and knew what he wanted to do from an early age. That dream has been fulfilled and he is currently a tenured professor at Harvard Law School.

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/04/ken-mack-unique-perspective-on-barack.html
-----
Temptation - Don't Fall for it – April 27, 2008

A quote:
A good friend of mine was frequently tempted with women when he was single. He is an engaging, charming and smart man. That combination has massive appeal. Fortunately, he survived his single life relatively unscathed although there was some luck involved

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/04/temptation-dont-fall-for-it.html
-----
Leisure Time - Do you get enough? – May 11, 2008

A quote:
Many use the people (spouse, family member) or time excuse for not getting leisure time. They only need to be a little stronger or bolder. "Things to do" or "unhappy people" will always try to stop you but who ultimately gets hurt as the years fly by?

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/05/leisure-time-do-you-get-enough.html
-----
Welcome to Swedish Paradise – June 8, 2008

A quote:
Since the weather has been warm and delightful for weeks, we were happy to embrace the Swedish archipelago for a few days. After an easy drive north to a small ferry, we reached our island destination in 75 minutes. The final part of our journey was a short and relaxing motorboat ride to the house.

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/06/welcome-to-swedish-paradise.html
-----
Are you making POWER MOVES? – July 3, 2008

A quote:
What are POWER MOVES?

Moves that one makes in life to advance personal and business goals, increase quality of life, help others, inspire and be a productive citizen / positive family person. The moves must be primarily positive and advance the aforementioned areas forward more often than not. In ANY situation, POWER MOVES should be top of mind.

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/07/are-you-making-power-moves.html
-----
Take the EMOTION out of it – July 20, 2008

A quote:
An emotional attachment to someone or something often makes a person forget about the potential downside and only focus on the upside. Emotion is a great thing but it has to be used with caution. Emotion with wise decision making is the best way to live life and often leads to success. Emotion with unwise decisions will give you a life at best, decent and at worst, miserable beyond belief. Who really wants the latter?

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/07/take-emotion-out-of-it.html
-----
Equal or better, Preferably BETTER – August 10, 2008

A quote:
Definition for Equal or Better, Preferably Better:

To consider someone for relationships/marriage ONLY if they are equal or better to your qualities and/or characteristics as an individual. That doesn't mean that everything has to be the same but overall, she/he should be on a level playing field with you. Equal is the lowest you should accept. Ideally, the person should be BETTER so that you can learn from them and have even more power and strength as a couple which will help immensely in the inevitable tough times.

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/08/equal-or-better-preferably-better_10.html
-----
Sept 11, 2001 - Pain, Giving, Renewal – Sept 21, 2008

A quote:
Not long after, I knew something terrible was happening when I saw on TV, a fireball explosion of immense intensity in the other tower. As we now know, that was the next airplane hitting the 2nd tower, a scene that was played over and over during the morning and is as horrific to watch now as it was then.

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/09/sept-11-2001-my-view-from-brooklyn-not.html
-----
Mistakes - Responsible or Irresponsible? – September 28, 2008

A quote:
There are two kinds of mistakes in life, Responsible or Irresponsible.

The focus tends to be on (and should) the BIG irresponsible ones like adultery. misguided relationships or bad parenting but there are a host of others that can cause just as much misery including family, career, financial or lack of common sense.

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/09/mistakes-responsible-or-irresponsible.html
-----
World Financial Crisis - Are you swimming or sinking? – October 12, 2008

A quote:
There are very few good things about this disheartening financial crises and it will strongly affect many people and countries for years to come. If you adhered to most of the aforementioned lessons, your pain is probably at worst bearable. If not, your pain is at best bearable and at worst a hole that you will never financially recover from.

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/10/save-for-sunday.html
-----
Losing your Life: All at Once or One Day at a Time – Nov 16, 2008

A quote:
Two of the most dynamic and appealing men I know are as they say, "caught between a rock and a hard place". Lately, they have been on my mind as they have common ground in life similarities and level of marital suffering.

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/11/losing.html
-----
GIVING is More Important than Ever – December 21, 2008

A quote:
There is an abundance of quality giving and I get inspired daily by articles I read, moments I see or stories I am told. Unfortunately, there is still a portion of our world (including some I know), who don’t do enough and only live in their tiny “ME” bubble. That must change and those of us who do give must challenge and encourage those less inclined to do more or at least do something on a consistent basis.

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/12/yes.html
-----
Losing our Dads, Gaining a Son – December 28, 2008

A quote:
My father was an intelligent, humble, loving and giving man who tried his hardest to be the best father that he could. As I said at his funeral, “he wasn’t a great father but he was a good father”. While we had our differences (and arguments) when I was younger, when I look back, our confrontations are almost laughable as my father was stubborn and frustrated in not being able to impose his wisdom on me and I was arrogant in thinking I knew what was best for me. We both should have been more open-minded.

Link:
http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/12/losing-our-dads-gaining-son.html

The pond in front of my father-in-law's house - Southern Sweden

Sleep is the Cousin of Death

2011-04-10T01:39:00.000-07:00

I’ve been averaging 6 hours of sleep per night for as long as I can remember although a recent week was considerably less due to an early train for work and a sports event.

Every April, I watch the USA championship game in college basketball. Unfortunately, it begins at 3am Swedish time. This game is near and dear to me since I love basketball and played the sport in college. This particular night, I woke up at 3am and after the game ended at 5:30, I was inspired to write an article for my blog. It was a great night!

Despite my 4.5 hours sleeping average the week of the sports event, it was a productive and interesting work week. I felt good.

I’m not advocating sleeping less as I believe sleep is important… BUT I do think some of us sleep our life away and miss doing the things we love.

Sleeping too much won’t bring about a literal death although figuratively, the death can be profound. By choosing sleep over living life to the fullest, one can bring death to the spirit or mind.

In my opinion, 7-8 hours of sleep is good for any adult although anything over 8 is time that could be spent doing something else albeit work, exercise or a passion.

I’ve heard numerous people talk about “not having enough time” or “being too busy to pursue a hobby”. When I inquired about their sleeping habits, it was clear that a modest decrease would bring about a dramatic change in their life.

I’m glad I function well on 6 hours of sleep. It gives me plenty of time (2-6 hours weekly) to write which is my top personal passion. In addition, I also have time for other “Me Time” interests. At this point in my life, I couldn’t even imagine sleeping 8 hours.

For those who sleep 8-10 hours and don’t feel that you’re living a full life (generally speaking means lack of “Me Time” in my opinion), I have two simple tips:

1) Read my two articles on “Me Time” :

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/05/master-your-me-time.html - May 2009

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2010/03/mastering-your-me-time-revisiting.html - March 2010

2) Sleep 1 hour less every night:

That’s an additional 7 hours a week to do whatever tickles your fancy. That’s more than an entire day you will gain per month!

If your life isn’t progressing in the manner you like or is in a “spiral of spiritual death” due to an abundance of sleep, don’t be afraid to get your soul back on track by sleeping less and living more. Be bold.

While sleeping might not be the cousin of death”, TOO MUCH sleep can be.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Summer 2009 - (Picture by Heidi)

The Resolve of an Entrepreneur

2011-04-03T01:13:00.000-07:00

I’ve helped or counseled numerous individuals over the years, both in life and business. This is the first time that I’ve worked so closely with an entrepreneur (also a friend) in terms of helping him succeed.

This individual has three things I like – Good Man, Great Mind and Steely Determination.

Good Man - Being a good man is something I pride myself on being and expect in others I lend a helping hand to. Despite the sometimes overwhelming obstacles he has been confronted with after moving to Sweden, his good man nature is intact.

Great Mind – After seeing him mastermind a well-attended fundraising concert for victims of a horrible tragedy, I knew he had what it takes to succeed as an entrepreneur. The speech he eloquently delivered after the musicians performed was powerful and confident along with presenting an important challenge to those in attendance.

In addition, I’ve had many private conversations with him on a variety of topics and he never fails to make me think or be interesting. He also has a savvy technological brain and a great view of what appeals to consumers.

Steely Determination – His current entrepreneurial project is exciting and timely, especially with the fast changing technology around the globe. The drive to start-up his company along with the discipline it takes to obtain investment has been nothing less than fierce. After two years of dogged pursuit, he’s very close to getting his first angel investor.

I expect great things from this man as his idea is one that a) should appeal to consumers on a broad scale and b) is in one of the world’s hottest industries – an industry currently in an infant stage compared to where it will be ten years from now.

He is crossing over a big hurdle (investment) currently although the challenge of building a first class company is no easy task and will probably be the most difficult thing he has ever done.

I believe he is destined to make a lasting impact in our society.

To achieve his dream, he has to believe in that destiny despite the jagged roads or dangling cliffs that may lie ahead. The level of his belief, strength of his resolve and doing whatever it ethically takes to make his idea shine among the masses will determine how great his company will be.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

April 2011 - Gswede's daughter enjoying a taste of summer

Team Success and the 4 C's

2011-03-27T00:56:00.000-07:00

I’ve worked on numerous teams throughout my career in sales/fundraising; for small and large companies in the USA, Serbia and Sweden. During that time, there were a few that thoroughly exemplified the 4 C’s – Confidence, Competence, Commitment and Caring.

In my opinion, those aforementioned elements are crucial for any team to succeed at the highest level. Two teams (let’s call them X and Y) were the most impressive.

Confidence – To be effective in any endeavour requires confidence. Teams X and Y had confidence to spare.

Competence – The time spent with these teams was wonderful in terms of results and the overall competence played a big role in our success. That knowledge along with the ability to use it to achieve challenging goals inspired me on numerous occasions!

Commitment – One can be confident and competent yet lack the commitment it takes to succeed in a competitive business world. I didn’t see any evidence of a team member not being 100% committed to our goals.

Caring – Last but not least is the caring aspect of teams X and Y. Numerous team members spent time with me during my first year to make sure I understood the industry which gave me great insight on how to succeed. They also were gracious with their feedback when I peppered them with questions.

In addition, I didn’t see or hear about any jealous acts or insincere commentary which was refreshing. I also like the fact that we tended to tease or make fun of each other occasionally which I consider the sign of a caring team. Some of my best laughing moments have been with these teams!

The importance of caring should not be overlooked in business or life and separates these teams from others I have worked with. With some, there were those who only cared about themselves or weren’t as committed to our goals. While these individuals may have had personal success, the team’s ability to perform at the highest level was compromised.

I had an interesting, challenging, fun and successful time with teams X and Y and much of that emanated from the 4 C’s. Life has been good to me and I enjoyed most of the teams I’ve worked with although these two were special.

Here’s hoping your team possesses the 4 C’s – Confidence, Competence, Commitment and Caring.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

A man's fire of wood on the beach in southern Sweden

"IF" - The Kipling Poem

2011-03-20T07:47:00.000-07:00

During an enlightening conversation with a professor, a poem by Rudyard Kipling came up. I hadn't thought about the poem in quite some time so I was anxious to read it again. Immediately after I left his office, I read it slowly and absorbed its power and eloquence.

It gave me a tremendous boost of inspiration that afternoon!

You will find the poem below in its entirety.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
-----

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run --
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!

(http://www.poetryloverspage.com/poets/kipling/if.html)

Venice - "IF" you have never been to Venice, Italy, it's worth a visit! (picture by Bill)

An Injury didn’t Deter my Basketball Success

2011-03-13T01:00:00.000-08:00

From the time I was 10 years old, I was usually the best basketball player on the court. The sport came easy to me and I was fortunate to have a) supportive parents and b) a man with a great basketball mind as my first coach.

Entering high school (10th grade), I was the lone sophomore on the starting five of our basketball team along with 4 talented seniors. Before I burst onto the scene, it was a certainty that the starting team would be five seniors so many of those senior players weren’t too happy with my prime position. They made it very physical and tough on me in practice which didn’t faze me as I knew my talent was at a minimum, equal to theirs. Also, one of the popular teammates (a senior) had to take a backup role due to my presence.

The often harsh treatment inspired me to deliver deft offensive moves every practice and display an astute knowledge of the game, quickly earning their respect. It was an exciting time as I knew the year would be fun and my skills would be tested at the highest level!

During an early season game, my perfect world of basketball bliss came to a screeching halt. As I was running down the court, I accidently ran into an opposing player rather forcefully. At first, I thought nothing of it although soon thereafter, my shoulder was throbbing. I had a broken collarbone.

By the time my injury healed, the season was nearly over and I never had the chance to find my rhythm. The team had smashing success without me which I was happy about, finishing with a record of 28-4. Being the best outside shooter on the team, I can only imagine what we could have achieved with me in the starting rotation.

This injury was probably the best thing to happen to me. It made me workout harder, improve my discipline and obtain a stronger focus. I made these changes in order to limit injuries along with giving me the best opportunity for a productive and stellar final two years - time that would be crucial for impressing college basketball coaches.

Fortunately, I averaged 23 points per game my junior and senior years and was injury free. In addition, I was twice named to the team of the best 15 players in my region – called “The Big 15”.

Would I have been a better player if I didn’t get injured? Who knows? What I do know is that I wasn’t going to let anything or anyone deter me from achieving the goal I had since I was young – receiving a basketball scholarship. I had worked extremely hard perfecting my skills before the injury so I considered it nothing more than a small obstacle or in car terms, a bump in the road.

I played 4 years of Division 1 College Basketball at the University of Vermont. That basketball scholarship allowed me the privilege of a free education and a wonderful university experience.

In sports or life, sometimes a curveball is thrown our way in the form of an injury or unfortunate incident yet one can’t allow these short term distractions to deter a goal or dream.

Basketball has taken me a long way in life and provided opportunities I may otherwise not have had. I’m thankful for that as well as achieving my goal despite an untimely injury.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

The University of Vermont provided great opportunties for Gswede

(Picture by Tony Friede)

A Powerful Story on Honesty

2011-03-06T23:27:00.000-08:00

It's not often that I come across a fictional story that exemplifies honesty as well as other admirable traits.

Honesty is not always the easy route as evidenced by all the greed (i.e. Financial Crisis) displayed around the world in the last 3 years. And when nobody is watching or one is away from family/friends, honesty can occasionally take a back seat.

In addition, some people tend to shy away from honesty towards others as they fear hurting them or telling the truth. An honest opinion or comment is exactly what a person needs to hear more often than not. Sometimes, the “truth hurts”.

“Honesty is the best policy” is not only a well-known cliché but something that if adhered to, can make life much easier and success more fulfilling.

Enjoy the story below.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
-----

Fictional Story on Honesty

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.

Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you.”

The young executives were Shocked, but the boss continued. “I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you.

I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.

Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.

By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however, he just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.

Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at
the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes.. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed - Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!

His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.

"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends

* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness

* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment

* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective

* If you plant hard work, you will reap success

* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation

So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.

The beauty of the water from a beach in Mexico (picture by Mia)

Belgrade, Serbia - City with a Soul

2011-02-27T09:54:00.000-08:00

In 2005, UNICEF in Belgrade hired me as a fundraiser for a farewell basketball event for Sasa Djordjevic, one of Serbia’s biggest sports celebrities. He was retiring from competitive basketball. After struggling to find quality work (including UNICEF in Stockholm) for close to one year, it felt good to be appreciated and hired for my sales and fundraising skills.

Having never been to Eastern Europe, I was excited to visit Belgrade, a city with a tumultuous history. My contract had me there for nearly two months.

I had 3 goals before my journey:

1) Obtain 1 sponsorship for the basketball event by utilizing my networking skills

2) Explore and learn about Belgrade

3) Have Fun!

My time was short (two weeks before sales deadline) for the first goal although I was optimistic I could close at least one sponsorship. That deal came in the form of a 10,000 Euro bank sponsorship. In addition, the entire fundraising team was very successful. I worked with a wonderful group of people at UNICEF who welcomed me with open arms.

Goal number two (explore) was a never ending adventure! The first weekend, a friend at the office took me to a spirited Friday night event where I met a diverse group of people including a woman who would become a good friend. She connected me to the inside world of advertising as well as numerous key connections around Belgrade.

Subsequent weeks found me racing to the last goal (have fun!) by enjoying the vibrant nightlife, walking in historic areas, watching a Jameroqui concert, working in Novi Sad (city outside of Belgrade), attending a music festival (thousands of youth), and meeting a plethora of interesting people.

I quickly felt a close bond to the city so I decided to have my own party after only one month. Some people laughed at me (in disbelief) when I told them I was expecting over 100 guests! In the past, I organized big parties in NYC along with plenty of social gatherings in Stockholm so I had no doubt that this one would be a success. I persuaded two dear friends from the USA to get a taste of this fine city - they arrived a few days before the party. Everyone had a blast, with close to 120 people dancing to soul and hip hop music all night!

The Novi Sad musical event was an exciting event to be part of. Young people came from various parts of Serbia as well as Eastern Europe for 4 days of extreme fun – listening to bands, dancing and embracing the moment. I don’t think I will ever experience such a mass of youth (over 150,000 attended) having the time of their life despite the rainy and muddy conditions.

Flying back to Stockholm and overlooking the devastating beauty of the city, I couldn’t help but wonder why the “Big Apple” of Scandinavia didn’t exude more of the energy and optimism of Belgrade. Stockholm could learn a lot from Belgrade – a city with a lovely soul.

From my short time there, most of the people I met appreciated what they had, hardly ever complained, lived life in the present moment and were fun to be around. In my opinion, that’s living a good life.

It was one of the best two months of my life.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede enjoying a view of Belgrade, Serbia in 2005

A "Moment of Truth" in Business

2011-02-20T04:11:00.000-08:00

While working at a top entertainment firm in NYC, I had a "moment of truth" that would define my experience.

We had a new boss who was affable and a true salesman. I liked his style immediately as I could tell that he would give most of the sales staff two things they desired - a chance to shine and make money.

Not long after he began, I was called into his office. He said, "I want $100,000 in sales from you George and you have two months to close it". He was firm and crystal clear. I had strong prospects in the pipeline although in my mind, his deadline was very tight.

My focus became laser-like on the elements that would help me close this demanding goal as I knew I had to pass his test. It was one of my toughest moments in business and the goal was never far from my thoughts, day or night.

To make a long and challenging story short, I managed to close $106,000 before the deadline of two months. I was relentless, positive and persistent in making my goal and no time was wasted. The boss never bothered me after that and I had a wonderful time at the organization. The lessons I learned from two of the best salesman I've worked with came in handy for this task - I wrote about them below (see link) in an article called "2 Salesmen, Simply the Best".

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/02/2-salesmen-simply-best.html

When you have a "moment of truth" in business or life, go after it with the same force as our Egyptian brothers and sisters went after freedom. Leave no stone unturned, stay positive and let nothing get in the way to your goals or dreams.

A "moment of truth" can make or break a career or personal life. For this frequently tough journey, make sure your mind is clear, your focus strong and your discipline high, thus giving you the best chance for success.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede and son on the icy beach of southern Sweden

The Talented Esperanza Spalding

2011-02-13T04:07:00.000-08:00

If you are a music lover and don't know the name above, you need to rectify that immediately.

If you saw her for the first time on TV (like me last year), you probably noticed the hair, style and beauty of this amazing artist. She's a sight to behold before she weaves her musical magic.

Her talent is uniquely powerful as was evidenced by winning the "Best New Artist" Grammy in the USA - the first time a jazz artist has won the award. She plays bass and has a magnificent voice. In addition, she is a favorite of President Obama - he chose her to play at his Nobel Prize ceremony.

I love music and when it comes wrapped in a package that is unique, soulful and soothing, it never fails to inspire me. If you love music (especially jazz), I can almost guarantee that you will enjoy or be moved by Esperanza Spalding.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

(www.esperanzaspalding.com)

Esperanza Spalding

A Lesson in Humility

2011-02-06T00:07:00.000-08:00

I’ve written about a close friend on several occasions during the last 3 years. He lost his way since 1998 for a variety of reasons, most of that time living in NYC. Currently, he’s trying to climb back up the ladder of success in the Big Apple although his attitude and mindset are not in sync with reality, thus the climb will be extra strenuous.

His main problem is that he talks, sometimes incessantly about what he will do or wants to do, with money being at the core of his conversation, as if he is some hot-shot businessman. In addition, he dreams of making top money in finance yet fails to realize the hard work necessary for success in that arena – especially in today’s economic conditions. His words are not appealing to numerous friends and can be irritable to those who don’t know him.

Recently, I wrote him an email about a gentleman I met in the 1990’s who exemplifies humility. I thought my friend might be inspired by the way this man carries himself. I was inspired.

Parts of the email are below.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
-----

Dear ____:

I was a member of a health club in NYC for 8 years. One of the moments I looked forward to the most was seeing Mr X (name not important) at the gym. He always had a smile, we talked basketball and he showed a genuine interest in me. I never knew much about him and that was okay.

After finding out what he did for a living, my opinion of him didn't change. He was the same likable guy.

Here's a moment when my respect for him grew even more:

The two of us were sitting with a group of people and I said (in a nice way), "great magazine cover I saw you on last week - and I mentioned the publication". He immediately played it down and was a bit embarrassed as those around him didn't know much about what he did. What a gentleman I thought - playing down his status. I felt a bit bad for saying it.

You may wonder what he did for a living. Well, he's one of the biggest finance guys in the USA. He's been on the cover of magazines and I have seen articles about him in the NY Times. At that time, he was making well north of 10 million a year! BUT he never talked about himself in any way or boasted. He was just a nice guy. The only reason I found out about his status was due to a friend telling me.

The Lesson:

Be humble about what you do and be likable.

You have all the tools for likability but you must use them. It's what made me and others like you in the first place. Most people won’t care about BIG deals you fantasize about, money you might make or women you desire, etc, etc. What most do care about are kindness, compassion and being genuine. You have it. USE IT.

BE HUMBLE, KIND, COMPASSIONATE, and GENUINE. Make it your mission in 2011.

Your friend,

George

A southern Sweden "Beach of Ice" in February - Gswede's son taking a break.

Men at Age 50 – How do you Feel?

2011-01-30T03:42:00.000-08:00

I don’t know what it is about the age of 50 that often brings injuries, tough times or dire consequences in regards to the health of a man. It’s probably a combination of things including but not limited to:

a) An unhealthy lifestyle coming back to haunt a man in the form of sickness or death

b) Getting older

c) Trying to live a life of a man 10 or 20 years younger

d) Previous stress that has built up over the years

e) Karma

In some cases, it’s simply bad luck or fortune not smiling on an individual.

I started thinking about this in 2009 when Michael Jackson died at the age of 50 although his problems were plentiful. Within the last month, I’ve heard of several men suffering and/or dying. I know one, met another and the last man I heard of through a family member. Two died rather suddenly while the third man recovered after some very scary moments. All were 50.

As we creep over 40 and sneak up on 50, some of us do push ourselves as if we were back in our collegiate days. Recently, a good friend (age 46) came back from a skiing trip and I inquired about his health as I figured that he might have thrown “caution to the wind”. He admitted that he pushed himself too much and had to go the doctor upon his return. He has had leg problems so he should have been more careful and was fortunate to avoid a serious injury.

I wrote about this subject in a 2009 article called “45 is the new 35 (not 25)”. The link and a quote are below:

A message to all 40 something’s or older – stay within your abilities or comfort zone when competing athletically and don’t try to act as if you are twenty again. I have seen numerous people injured (often with pain for years) simply because they trained or competed as if they were still in college. A woman in my hometown was playing softball and ran the bases as if she was a track star; she never made it to home base and died. If she had run easily and comfortably, she might be on this earth today. Quality of life should be important and as we get older there needs to be a focus of sound judgment in any chosen athletic endeavor or you could have an aching knee or bad back for the rest of your life.
(http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/07/45-is-new-35not-25.html)

Take it easy men (and women) around middle age. That doesn’t mean that you can’t live life to the fullest - it means that one’s health and the elements (proper nutrition, exercise, “Me Time”, giving, loyalty, etc) that go into keeping one’s body, mind and spirit in top form should be a priority.

As I have said and wrote on more than one occasion, “There is nothing more important than our health”.

Men, we sometimes forget those aforementioned words in our competitive and fast-paced world so consider this a gentle reminder.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede can't wait for summer 2011 in southern Sweden!. (Picture is from summer 2007)

Sorrento, Italy – Beautiful Place (Hope to see more of it next time!)

2011-01-23T01:19:00.000-08:00

It’s ironic that I was reading the autobiography of the tennis player, Andrea Agassi during my journey earlier this month to Sorrento, Italy.

While our lives have been and are very different, we do share one thing in common – during his tennis career he visited wonderful places around the world yet never got the chance to truly explore the cities due to the focus and pressure of tennis tournaments. Likewise, my current career takes me to a nice European city twice a year although there is never time to get the true sense of the region because of the diverse information that needs to be absorbed during the conference. Oh well. Could be worse!

I have always enjoyed Italy, having spent numerous weeks in the north - great places like Florence, Rome, Padua, Rimini and Venice. Having never been to the southern part, I was excited to get a small taste of Sorrento (which overlooks the Bay of Naples). It didn’t disappoint.

During the day, we were in full work mode although we did get to venture out to the square at night to enjoy the delicious Italian food. In addition, the temperature was around 12-13 celsius every day which was a pleasant difference from the cold in Sweden! One consistent quality about Italy is the wonderful food. Each time I have been there, the food has been delicious whether I was in a private home or restaurant.

Even though there was no time to explore Sorrento, the beauty of the place was captivating. During the drive to the hotel, there were marvelous scenes of water, mountains and quaint locations. Also, we were fortunate to have a meeting room during the week that had a picturesque view of Sorrento.

I would enjoy going back one day to get a full sense of the region including areas close to Sorrento - Naples, Pompeii, Herculaneum and the Amalfi Coast.

For those who have never been to Italy, I encourage you to consider it for your next vacation. In my opinion, it’s one of those countries that is a “must see” in a lifetime.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede during a break in the meeting - Sorrento, Italy

The Beauty of a Small Town

2011-01-16T04:12:00.000-08:00

Recently, my family moved from the “Big Apple” of Scandinavia (Stockholm) to a small town in southern Sweden. The reasons were plentiful including my wife’s new job, closer to family, a calmer lifestyle and a more ideal place for our kids to grow up.

As we were settling into our new house, I was casually thinking that one of our neighbors might welcome us with a home baked pie or something similar. I had never experienced it although I saw it plenty of times in the movies. Maybe this is what happens in small communities I thought.

A few nights later, as our kids were eating a snack, we heard a knock on the door. To our pleasant surprise it was a neighbour holding a “fresh from the oven” cake that smelled absolutely divine. It brought smiles to all of our faces! What a beautiful gesture.

By the way, the cake tasted just as heavenly as it smelled with Gswede devouring most of it fortunately (taste) or unfortunately (calories and sugar).

Since I have never lived in a small town other than my hometown (doesn’t count), I’m hoping this is one of many beauties that will occur.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

The beauty surrounding a small community (picture by Peter while fishing)

A Star Athlete’s "Giving" Inspiration

2011-01-09T03:36:00.000-08:00

While reading the paragraph below, I couldn’t help but get a bit emotional. That this athlete would sit at the side of Aiden (who was dying) until he woke up was powerful.

They became texting buddies and, one day, Sanchez surprised Aiden’s parents by asking, “Can I come over?” When Sanchez arrived, the boy was sleeping. Sanchez sat at Aiden’s feet, waiting until he woke up.

“He opened his eyes and there was Mark, sitting on the couch,” Lisa said. “He was so sweet.”

They ended up having a long conversation, like a couple of old friends. Aiden took Sanchez to his bedroom and showed him his sports stuff, including his hockey stick. He gave Sanchez a camouflage bracelet with the inscription “Binkley’s Battle.” Sanchez and Keller were wearing the bracelets Wednesday in the Jets’ locker room.
(http://sports.espn.go.com/new-york/nfl/news/story?id=5991920)

Rather than attempting to wax poetic about the New York Jets quarterback, Mark Sanchez and his inspiration for a dying boy, I’ll let the story speak for itself.

Suffice it to say that this star athlete went above and beyond in order to make a very sick boy happy – if only for a few special moments.

I encourage you to read this article from ESPN as it may inspire you to improve your giving or helping of others.

You will find the story below in its entirety.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
-----
FLORHAM PARK, N.J. -- Mark Sanchez went to work Tuesday, preparing for a big football game. Some 40 miles away, a little boy from Queens, N.Y., was buried -- a friend of the New York Jets quarterback.

Sanchez and Aiden Binkley, 11, met each other only a few weeks ago, but they became fast friends. Binkley was suffering from a rare form of cancer, and he had only two wishes -- he wanted his two brothers to stay healthy and he wanted to meet Sanchez.

And so he did.

Aiden visited the Jets' training facility Dec. 15, and he received the VIP treatment, as if he were a big-name player making a free-agent visit. He watched practice and was escorted to owner Woody Johnson's second-floor office, where he met Antonio Cromartie, Dustin Keller, Mike Devito and others.

And, finally, Sanchez. The people who were there say Aiden's face lit up like Broadway at night.

"He sat there, beaming and smiling," said Aiden's mother, Lisa Binkley, who initially wasn't sure if it was a good idea to make the trip because Aiden was in such pain.

"Nothing meant more to him than coming here and meeting Mark and meeting the Jets," Keller said quietly Wednesday in the Jets' locker room. "Great kid ... a tough situation."

The 24-year-old quarterback was immediately taken by Aiden and his upbeat personality and his love of the Jets. A few days later, Sanchez & Co. beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh -- the biggest win of the season -- and Sanchez sent his new friend a game ball.

Sanchez was deeply touched by Aiden, who battled rhabdomyosarcoma, according to a 2008 New York Daily News article. There was a lemon-sized tumor that spread from his pelvis to his lungs, and he required 60 weeks of chemotherapy.

They became texting buddies and, one day, Sanchez surprised Aiden's parents by asking, "Can I come over?" When Sanchez arrived, the boy was sleeping. Sanchez sat at Aiden's feet, waiting until he woke up.

He opened his eyes and there was Mark, sitting on the couch," Lisa said. "He was so sweet."

They ended up having a long conversation, like a couple of old friends. Aiden took Sanchez to his bedroom and showed him his sports stuff, including his hockey stick. He gave Sanchez a camouflage bracelet with the inscription "Binkley's Battle."

Sanchez and Keller were wearing the bracelets Wednesday in the Jets' locker room.

"My man, Aiden ... breaks my heart," Sanchez said Tuesday during his weekly spot on "The Michael Kay Show" on 1050 ESPN Radio. "He's so tough."

Sanchez, choked with emotion, paused several times as he talked about Aiden, whom he met through the Teddy Atlas Foundation. Atlas, the boxing trainer and ESPN analyst, was a Jets special assistant under former coach Eric Mangini.

"He brought me so much inspiration. ... It's hard to talk about him," Sanchez said. "He meant the world to me. I felt like I've known him forever. ... I saw his personality. I saw his competitive spirit. I saw him fighting every day.

"I'm complaining about a shoulder. Are you kidding me? ... I think he was 11 years old, and he has cancer eating away at his body," Sanchez continued. "This kid is fighting every day. He's smiling every time I talk to him. I visited him at his home. I mean, he has to get carried up the stairs because he's so weak and all he wants to talk about is LT [LaDainian Tomlinson] and Darrelle Revis and Rex Ryan and me.

"Oh, man, it kills you, just thinking about it. I love him to death."

Mark Sanchez and Aiden Binkely. (Photo from Binkely family)

Take your Life Up (or down) a Notch in 2011!

2011-01-02T13:12:00.000-08:00

My first article for this blog in 2008 was called, “Are you better off now than you were 4 years ago”. 4 years is a good time to reflect and look back to see if your life has improved, is simmering in mediocrity or has gone down hill. Here’s the link:

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2008/03/are-you-better-off-now-than-you-were-4.html

My kick-off article in 2009 dealt with the benefits of life and how we need to focus on them. The link is below:

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/01/life-is-and-should-be-all-about.html

My first article in 2010 was titled, “A Voice of Reason”. The main theme centered on the need for having one or more voices in order to help us live the life we desire. The link:

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2010/01/voice-of-reason.html

Since I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions (most don’t stick to them), I embrace the beginning of each year with the intention of finding ways in which I can improve the benefits in my life.

“Taking it UP (or down) a Notch” is my focus in 2011.

Everyone has parts of their life that they adore or enjoy whether it be hobbies, family, work, playing with your kids, sports, “Me Time”, cooking, getting a massage, networking or simply relaxing. Whatever your particular passion may be, I encourage you to embrace it even more in 2011. Or if you have not started that book you want to write or begun the exercise you desire, there is no time like the present to move forward! Take it up a notch.

Life should be about getting as much FUN out of it as you can so why not increase the level of pleasure with those things you most enjoy. I enjoy running and have made it a priority to improve my jogging consistency in 2011. In addition, I want to take my “helping of others” to a new level.

This year, I’ve added a new twist to my goals - including lessening or getting rid of elements that don’t add value to my life or I don’t enjoy. Thankfully, there aren’t many although there are a few that will be firmly decreased as they are counter-productive and often waste my time.

I understand that certain elements of our life must be dealt with whether we enjoy them or not. In my opinion, most things we don’t like or are not pleasant for us are BY CHOICE. Can you or people you know relate to any of these?

 In a relationship or marriage that should have ended years ago

 Keeping a friend in your life who is negative or doesn’t add value

 Family members who don’t have your best interests in mind

 Drama at work because you don’t enjoy it or are only in it for the money

 Keeping people in your life because you have known them a long time and not because you enjoy them

 Being irresponsible with your choices by throwing caution to the wind

 Needlessly wasting money on things you don’t need

 Eating in abundance or being addicted to a certain type of food

 “Making money” being one’s sole focus

 Having quality mentors yet not listening to their advice

If you can relate to any of the aforementioned, I implore you to do something about it while you still have the chance. Don’t be afraid to tackle the problem head on because if you have a person, action or job that is bringing you down or adding negativity to your life, where is the benefit for you? Take it down a notch!

This paragraph from my benefits article in 2009 sums up my philosophy on taking care of YOU first in order to be at full strength for maximizing the enjoyment of life:

M) You are # 1 – If you are not, how can you live a good life or benefit others? People tend to forget that taking care of YOU FIRST is the most important thing in life. Living life for others or through others is a sure way to experience a HO HUM existence. There are many ways to achieve this no matter how busy you are in life. One is to act on a passion you have and make sure to do it every week if only for an hour. Surely you can spare an hour? You will be surprised how that one hour enhances your life. I have been thinking about starting a blog for years but never acted on it. I finally began it last year during one of the busiest times in my life and the benefits have been amazing!

Things that don’t add joy and/or value to your life are “time wasters” and I don’t think anyone reading this wants to waste the precious and often short time we have.

Take Your Life up (or down) a Notch, depending on where your life is right now.

The best thing is to always be searching for ways to do this whether it is January, June or November. Positive change is never easy although those bold enough to do it often experience joy and/or peace of mind that they never thought possible.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede looks forward to every year including 2011!

JD’s Christmas "SMS" Message

2010-12-26T09:23:00.000-08:00

What I enjoy about my friend JD is his love of life and family, his humour, his care for others, his positivity and his genuine nature. He’s one of the most fun people to be around!

Like me, he’s a former Division 1 basketball player so we share that unique bond. We were recently reminiscing about our college hoop years at a small going away gathering for yours truly. JD’s stories had everyone laughing! In addition, he loves the power of words and we both enjoy sending inspirational sms’s to our inner circles.

His Christmas sms/text message was not only touching but had me reflecting on a deeper level about the blessing of family, friends and loved ones during the holiday season. The gratefulness I have in my heart at being able to spend another positive holiday with those close to me was enhanced by his beautiful words.

JD’s sms is below:

At Christmas, a man is at his finest towards the finish of the year. He’s almost what he should be when the Christmas season’s here. Then, he’s thinking more of others then he’s thought the months before. And the laughter of his children is a joy worth toiling for. When the Christmas spirit rules him he comes close to the sublime. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Thanks JD.

Happy Holidays and Happy Gswede Sunday!

Santa visiting during the holidays!

Holiday Cards – Are they important to you?

2010-12-19T09:27:00.000-08:00

I’m a firm believer in sending holiday and/or Christmas cards. It’s a yearly priority that has been important since I became an adult. For me, they serve a variety of purposes:

1) Most importantly, they give me a chance to send a warm holiday message to those I care about and are close to me.

2) For those people I rarely get a chance to see, it’s great to say hello and keep them abreast of how my family is doing.

3) As a networking tool, it has proved invaluable.

I’ve tried to convey the importance of sending holidays cards to those in my inner circle as I sensed that many wanted to although making the time to do it was difficult for some. Having “no time” is a bad excuse because if something is important to you, you should find the time.

I’m as busy as anyone especially this year with travel to the USA, work, kids, moving to another city and much more. In addition, my wife has a new job. Together, we still managed to get 70 of our over 100 cards out by mid December.

I suspect that many of you reading this would like to improve upon or begin sending your holiday cards. If so, I implore you to do so. Yes, it will take some hours out of your November/December time although if you begin early, the time necessary won’t seem so cumbersome.

Cards of this nature may hold no interest for you. If that is the case, I would like you to consider this – sending at least 1 or more hand written notes/letters to those you care about during 2011. Maybe you do this already although most do not.

The art of the hand written note seems to be lost in the age of email/twitter/facebook/technology, etc. One of the gentle surprises I enjoy the most is getting a note from someone in the mail. It never fails to brighten my day.

Finally, the power of a holiday card was on full display as I was talking with a group of 10-15 executives a decade ago. As one person in the group was preparing to leave, he said “Thanks for the Christmas card George, I appreciate it”. His words came with a big smile and were loud enough for the whole room to hear! A wonderful moment.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Southern Sweden during the Holidays!

CVC (Cablevision) – A Stock for your Portfolio?

2010-12-12T01:06:00.000-08:00

Not long ago, I wrote an article about one of my favorite stocks – SIRI (Sirius Satellite Radio). The link is below:

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2010/10/stock-symbol-siri-great-product-but.html

Not dissimilar to SIRI, I told a group of friends about CVC when it was around $22.00. In fact, I’ve been telling those close to me about this stock for years as it has several elements I like:

1) 5 million cable subscribers in the New York Metropolitan area!

2) A good management team along with a diversity of businesses.

3) A company that has shown boldness and risk.

4) A stock that has been volatile over the years which can be good for making profits.

A good friend acted on my recommendation. He purchased it in the low 20’s and today, it is in the $33-35.00 range. I’ve been doing well with CVC since the 1990’s and it has rarely disappointed.

If you want to consider CVC for your portfolio, I suggest that you do your own thorough research as my stock tastes may not be what you desire.

I’ll leave you with these parting words:

 In my view, this stock is a very good one for the long term

 For short term profits, it’s important to watch this stock closely if you want to do well

All the best with your investing and Happy Gswede Sunday!

There's no Cablevision in this part of the world - Southern Sweden by the sea.

Having a "GPS" Will Save You Time

2010-12-05T00:52:00.000-08:00

I received a sms from a relative recently saying, “missed my turn, uurrrgh” as she arrived at least 30 minutes later than she planned to her new job.

A few years ago, numerous friends were going to meet an American couple visiting Sweden including my family. The couple was staying in a remote place outside of Stockholm. I remember saying to my wife, “I am glad we have GPS as this place would be tough to find without it”. Indeed. It took another couple 45 extra minutes to get there.

Four years ago, I was driving with a colleague to a university. We found the college easily although the campus was quite vast. We were lost trying to find the building we needed. She had been there before so being lost was a bit surprising to me. I said to her, “why don’t you have a GPS”. I don’t remember what her answer was yet it was clear that she wanted one that day.

She informed me that when she began her job (which required visiting universities) in Sweden, it took her much longer to accomplish things because of the time spent looking for universities and buildings.

What do the aforementioned 3 scenarios have in common?

1) If they had a GPS (Global Positioning System), they would have gone directly to their destination.

2) And most importantly, they wasted valuable time – something I don’t think anyone embraces.

It’s interesting to hear people defend the non-GPS way, believing that internet directions or someone giving you directions is better than GPS. When I ask them to tell me how directions on a paper that you have to pick up and look at while driving is better than having exact directions (hands free) to any place in your country (with or without sound), I have yet to get a cohesive answer.

I realize that many are comfortable with the old way of doing things although that same mindset might as well use a typewriter instead of a computer. Did I mention with paper directions, you have to spend time on a computer and then write or print the directions? Or if you dare go with directions someone is writing down for you or giving to you over the telephone, I hope you see the various pitfalls with that path. With a GPS, you simply punch in the address and drive.

If you cannot afford one or don’t travel much by car, not having one is understandable. If you are a car person, a GPS is a must if you care about getting to your destination promptly and not wasting time.

In the last 4 years, I only had one incident where it took me an extra few minutes to find a place because the street wasn’t on the GPS. Why? It was a newly built area and hadn’t been updated to GPS. 99.9% of the time, my device took me straight to my destination.

The woman I mentioned in the third paragraph, wasted more time in one day without a GPS than I did in 4 years with mine. In addition, since I have been lost in far too many cars as a passenger, I rarely travel in that manner unless I have my GPS with me. There’s another benefit, a GPS can be portable!

Can you survive without a GPS? Of course you can although the average car person without one will probably spend needless hours per month trying to find places. You can buy a good one for $100.00 (700 kronor) and the printing of directions and looking at them while driving (very dangerous) will be a thing of the past. In addtion, many mobile phones have GPS which makes it quite easy to use.

Life is complicated and challenging enough for most of us so why complicate it even further. Wasting time is something I try to avoid on a daily basis as it takes away focus, hinders the reaching of goals and lessens the fun in life.

We all have things that waste our time – some out of our control and some in our control. Going places directly and efficiently is something anyone can control.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

In this weather, a GPS will be very useful. (southern Sweden)

Sean - A True Friend

2010-11-28T23:30:00.000-08:00

One of the great things about true friendship is the diversity of experiences……those you can learn from - those that are pure fun - those you can laugh about - the ones that surprise you and those you gain inspiration from.

I’ve learned from my friend Sean in a variety of ways although one moment was poignant for me:

It occurred at a drying cleaning place on one of our business travels. I was impatient and rude with an employee because my shirt collar was not done to my satisfaction. Sean immediately confronted me on the disrespect I was displaying to this woman. He wasn’t done. After we left the shop, he got in my face and told me how lousy my attitude was and that I should not have treated her that way.

He was right. It was a moment I still cringe at when I think about it as it was less about the woman and more about my lack of PATIENCE. No friend has ever been in my face to that degree although I am glad he did. From that day, I vowed to become a more patient man and it might not have happened if Sean wasn’t bold enough to tell me exactly what I needed to hear. Today, I’m proud of my patience.

The pure fun we’ve had is extensive and some of the best moments of my life. I’ll touch on one—our times in the Big Apple. I lived in NYC for 10 years and Sean often visited for business and pleasure. I was able to introduce him to a great connection for his sales job and he closed the business quickly. The big sale required him to be in NYC from time to time and that was when our NYC time together blossomed!

Our times were sizzling and always interesting, including time spent watching the exciting NY Knicks basketball team, Bill Clinton fundraisers, attending glamorous events along with meeting some of the USA’s most dynamic business people. The beauty of NYC is that unless you have lived there, you won’t ever have an idea about the pulse, energy and day to day life of what I call the “best city in the world”. For never living in NYC, Sean came about as close as one can to knowing what it would be like to be a resident.

Now, what is friendship without a good laugh?

Since we both share a passion for golf, this moment has to be mentioned. We can laugh at it now but it wasn’t so funny for Sean at the time.

Sean is a good golfer although there was a time when he lost his “mojo”. His simply couldn’t hit the ball. Let me clarify. If Sean was standing on the beach and his only goal was to hit the ball into the open water, it would have been a tough task. I’ve never seen anything like it but being the competitive person I am, I knew I had to take advantage of it and him.

I’m a competent golfer although I had never beaten Sean in all our years of golfing prior to his downfall. So when his “golfing gone wild” moment occurred, I pounced on the opportunity and beat him six times in a row…….and I was having a ball! I had to laugh occasionally as the inability for such a good golfer to turn briefly into an aimless beginner was frankly laughable. I did feel for him sometimes yet I knew this tough moment wouldn’t last long.

He eventually got that fine golf swing back and I’ve never beaten him since but those six times were pure fun. Just as enjoyable were the hundreds of times we’ve played golf as a twosome or foursome, often meeting at 6am to tee off! Few things are better than playing a round of golf with true friends.

I’ve learned to embrace surprises over the years, particularly the unexpected ones. Those that have occurred less frequently for me are the gentle surprises – ones that touch the heart. One of those occurred at my wedding in Sweden.

At a typical Swedish wedding, there are many toasts to the bride and groom, sometimes 15-20 speeches. When Sean stood up to give his toast, I expected one about our time together yet I was gently surprised at what came out of his mouth.

Now keep in mind that Swedes are not religious people. Sean knew this about Sweden but as a man of faith, he stayed true to his self and asked all the guests to bow their heads and then proceeded to bless us with a prayer – a prayer that moved me immensely. Even though there weren’t many religious people in the room, I know they felt his eloquence and the power that is prayer.

In my opinion, a necessity of true friendship is inspiration. One of those times for me was at the funeral of Sean’s father. He talked about his father in such a loving and eloquent manner - capturing the essence of the man. I didn’t know his father but was blown away and inspired by the speech he delivered that day. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I would need that inspiration only 4 shorts years later when my father died.

Preparing my speech for my dad’s funeral, I drew strength from Sean’s words. I don’t know if I would have been as effective in honoring my dad that day if I didn’t hear his speech 4 years earlier.

Sean is one of my closest and dearest friends. He’s one of a handful of friends that I trust implicitly and know that I can rely on him for whatever my needs may be. I’m a better man because of his friendship.

Even though I live thousands of miles away, the bond we share will never be broken.

The psychologist and philosopher William James said it best with this quote:

“Wherever you are, it is your friends who make your world”

Sean, I am glad and grateful that you are a part of my world.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Sean and his two sons

A Thing of Beauty or Nothingness?

2010-11-21T22:24:00.000-08:00

The beginning of a John Keats poem (Endymion) is one of my favorites:

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing

Most probably aspire to have elements of life that are “A Thing of Beauty” – I know I do. When a person passes away, it wouldn’t be a bad thing for someone to say that his/her life was “A Thing of Beauty”.

The word “Nothingness” is powerful in the poem as well and something that most people probably would like to avoid.

In my opinion, a life with elements of Nothingness comes in many forms including but not limited to:

 A life lived for others
 A life with little or no “Me Time”
 A HIGH stress life
 A life with little or no risk/boldness
 A life where irresponsible mistakes are made over and over again
 A life without love
 A life with a pattern of chaos and/or drama in relationship after relationship
 A life ruled by emotions
 A life of worrying
 A life ruled by food
 A life of negativity
 A life of arrogance
 A life of not helping others
 A life spent complaining

Living a full and well-rounded life is not easy although if you are just sitting around waiting for life to happen to you, you will probably be waiting for a very long time. If you can relate to any of the aforementioned points above, I implore you to do something positive about it and don’t let your life simmer in Nothingness.

Grab life as hard as you can while there is still life to grab! Don’t be afraid to be laser-like in going after your dreams or goals. Time waits for no one.

A final question to ponder:

Does your life resemble “A Thing of Beauty” or are you more closely aligned with elements of Nothingness?

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Snow is always "A Thing of Beauty" - November 2010 on the coast of Southern Sweden (Picture by Fredrik)

Being Black on Amtrack

2010-11-14T13:44:00.000-08:00

Although John Edgar Wideman is a celebrated author, I've only read a few of his novels. I've actually read more about his personal life as it is compelling. He was a Rhodes scholar and won the PEN/Faulkner Award, has a daughter who played professional basketball and has the double tragedy of a brother and a son in jail for life.

A snapshot of his life:

John Edgar Wideman is one of the leading chroniclers of life in urban black America. An author who intertwines ghetto experiences with experimental fiction techniques, personal history with social events, Wideman is the only artist who has won the prestigious PEN/Faulkner Award for literature twice.
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For Wideman, an Oxford-trained scholar, that process of absorbing a community and relating its history artistically has provided grist for complex revelations on family relationships, isolation, and the search for self.
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The novel Hiding Place deals with a young boy on the run from a petty robbery that turned deadly. The situation is very similar to the circumstances surrounding the incarceration of Robby Wideman. Robby, the author's younger brother, was sentenced in 1976 to life in prison for his part in a larceny/murder case. Wideman sought to understand his brother's plight, publishing Brothers and Keepers, in 1984. The book, Wideman's only major nonfiction piece to date, attempts to address the difficult questions of "success" and "failure" on white society's terms as well as the sense of guilt Wideman felt about his brother's fate.
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Tragedy struck again in 1986. Wideman's second son, Jacob, fatally stabbed a fellow camper during an outing in Arizona. Both boys were sixteen. Facing the death penalty, Jacob Wideman agreed to plead guilty and was sentenced to life in prison. John Wideman has steadfastly refused to comment on the case in interviews. "I don't like to talk about it," he said.
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In 1965 he married Judith Ann Goldman, an attorney, with whom he has three children: Daniel, Jacob, and Jamila. That marriage ended in divorce in 2000. In 2004 he married a former French journalist, with whom he resides on the lower East Side of Manhattan in New York City.
(http://www.answers.com/topic/john-edgar-wideman)

In early October, he wrote an insightful op-ed for the New York Times called, "Seat Not Taken".

I’m a man of color, one of the few on the train and often the only one in the quiet car, and I’ve concluded that color explains a lot about my experience. Unless the car is nearly full, color will determine, even if it doesn’t exactly clarify, why 9 times out of 10 people will shun a free seat if it means sitting beside me.
(http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/07/opinion/07Wideman.html?scp=1&sq=wideman&st=cse)

I implore you to read it as it clearly presents how race still matters in the USA despite the progress made - progress that has given America our first black President.

As a man of color, I could easily identify to the "casual experiment" the author describes. Throughout my life, I've noticed similar instances although never thought to formalize my observations.

The article is printed in its entirety below. I feel it's important for everyone to read especially those who have little or no knowledge about this aspect of race in the USA.

Happy Gswede Sunday!
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October 6, 2010

The Seat Not Taken

By JOHN EDGAR WIDEMAN

AT least twice a week I ride Amtrak’s high-speed Acela train from my home in New York City to my teaching job in Providence, R.I. The route passes through a region of the country populated by, statistics tell us, a significant segment of its most educated, affluent, sophisticated and enlightened citizens.

Over the last four years, excluding summers, I have conducted a casual sociological experiment in which I am both participant and observer. It’s a survey I began not because I had some specific point to prove by gathering data to support it, but because I couldn’t avoid becoming aware of an obvious, disquieting truth.

Almost invariably, after I have hustled aboard early and occupied one half of a vacant double seat in the usually crowded quiet car, the empty place next to me will remain empty for the entire trip.

I’m a man of color, one of the few on the train and often the only one in the quiet car, and I’ve concluded that color explains a lot about my experience. Unless the car is nearly full, color will determine, even if it doesn’t exactly clarify, why 9 times out of 10 people will shun a free seat if it means sitting beside me.

Giving them and myself the benefit of the doubt, I can rule out excessive body odor or bad breath; a hateful, intimidating scowl; hip-hop clothing; or a hideous deformity as possible objections to my person. Considering also the cost of an Acela ticket, the fact that I display no visible indications of religious preference and, finally, the numerous external signs of middle-class membership I share with the majority of the passengers, color appears to be a sufficient reason for the behavior I have recorded.

Of course, I’m not registering a complaint about the privilege, conferred upon me by color, to enjoy the luxury of an extra seat to myself. I relish the opportunity to spread out, savor the privacy and quiet and work or gaze at the scenic New England woods and coast. It’s a particularly appealing perk if I compare the train to air travel or any other mode of transportation, besides walking or bicycling, for negotiating the mercilessly congested Northeast Corridor. Still, in the year 2010, with an African-descended, brown president in the White House and a nation confidently asserting its passage into a postracial era, it strikes me as odd to ride beside a vacant seat, just about every time I embark on a three-hour journey each way, from home to work and back.

I admit I look forward to the moment when other passengers, searching for a good seat, or any seat at all on the busiest days, stop anxiously prowling the quiet-car aisle, the moment when they have all settled elsewhere, including the ones who willfully blinded themselves to the open seat beside me or were unconvinced of its availability when they passed by. I savor that precise moment when the train sighs and begins to glide away from Penn or Providence Station, and I’m able to say to myself, with relative assurance, that the vacant place beside me is free, free at last, or at least free until the next station. I can relax, prop open my briefcase or rest papers, snacks or my arm in the unoccupied seat.

But the very pleasing moment of anticipation casts a shadow, because I can’t accept the bounty of an extra seat without remembering why it’s empty, without wondering if its emptiness isn’t something quite sad. And quite dangerous, also, if left unexamined. Posters in the train, the station, the subway warn: if you see something, say something.
(http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/07/opinion/07Wideman.html?scp=1&sq=wideman&st=cse)

Would the space between them be just as wide on Amtrack?

An Article a Friend Might Enjoy? - Send it!

2010-11-07T22:10:00.000-08:00

Something I do on a regular basis is sending articles I've read to people I know. In our busy world, it's refreshing to get an article via email or regular mail not to mention the thought behind it. I try to make sure it's enjoyable or interesting for the person.

Recently, a good friend sent me a newspaper clipping of a building in my former Brooklyn neighborhood. This friend and I lived directly across from the dwelling for many years. It was abandoned during much of my time there although I did witness the transformation to condominiums.

A few paragraphs from the New York Times article are below:

The 4.5-story building, known more popularly as the Graham Home for Old Ladies, was the creation of John B. Graham, an apparently generous 19th-century lawyer who financed the living quarters “in consequence of his sympathy with the indigent gentlewomen who had, by previous culture and refinement, been unfitted to accept willingly the public asylum provided by the state,” according to the Clinton Hill Historic District Designation Report of 1981.

Back in the 1800s, to be accepted as a resident, “a lady had to be over 60 and bring satisfactory testimonials of the propriety of her conduct and the respectability of her character,” according to an article in The Fort Greene Association Newsletter, published in 2001, the year the building was converted into 25 condos, “and come provided with a good bed and furniture for her room.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/31/realestate/31Deal1.html?scp=1&sq=a+refuge+lives+on+as+a+condo&st=nyt

Next time you come across an interesting article, take a few moments to email it to someone or drop it in the mail. I don't receive many in the aforementioned manner although when I do, it always brings a smile to my face.

I encourage you to read this historical piece particularly if you have lived in Brooklyn. Thanks for sending it T!

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Condominiums today, this is how it appeared in the 19th century.

Being Sick Often EQUALS Being out of Balance

2010-10-31T13:12:00.000-07:00

While listening to Tony Robbins (www.tonyrobbins.com) last month, he mentioned that he hasn’t missed an event since he began motivating people. He wasn’t bragging, only letting listeners know that it’s possible to remain healthy despite a hectic travel schedule – a schedule that is demanding and exposes him to numerous viruses.

The audio tape was on the subject of health including the “whys” which make us vulnerable to disease. He spoke in detail about how the body works and the way many of us don’t put ourselves and our health first. It was clear from his dialogue that when one is out of balance with unhealthy habits (i.e. improper nutrition, high stress, lack of exercise and limited “Me Time”), it’s easy to fall victim to sickness.

It was refreshing to hear this from an expert as I have been baffled at times by the prevalent sickness I’ve witnessed (children and adults) during my life, particularly here in Sweden during the last 6 years. After listening to Tony, it now makes perfect sense.

I agree with his health philosophy, and fortunately have experienced remarkable health my entire life. In almost 5 decades, there have been less than 10 days where I didn’t feel good; a few days with an upset stomach and two days of a high temperature. I’m grateful for this blessing as it has helped me to fiercely target my goals and dreams. My good health is no fluke as I put a high priority on being in balance and maintaining a lifestyle conducive to good living.

My focus has been laser-like in making sure that my stress levels are low and getting big doses of “Me Time”. In my opinion, these two vital areas are essential to feeling good and staying in balance. I simply cannot do without my “Me Time”, especially the passion I love most, writing.

Keep in mind that one doesn’t need to excel in every area of a healthy lifestyle – the key is to have a strong balance. I sleep less than the average person (6 hours) and enjoy delicious yet unhealthy food occasionally although I balance it out with extreme patience, helping others, a positive attitude, not worrying, a loving family and doing things I enjoy on a daily basis.

Here’s a quote from the legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden:

“Balance is crucial in everything we do. Along with love, it’s among the most important things in life. I strove for balance in my leadership and coaching and taught that balance was necessary for Competitive Greatness: The body has to be in balance; the mind has to be in balance; emotions must be in balance. Balance is important everywhere and in everything we do”
(Wooden on Leadership, chapter 8, McGraw Hill publishing)

In previous articles, I’ve written about the importance of TAKING CARE OF YOU. I’ve also shared my view with acquaintances and some of my inner circle, particularly when they express how often they are sick or how difficult life has been.

When I inquire and dig deeper into their lifestyles, 95% of the time it boils down to stress (job, family or kids), lack of “Me Time”, worrying, bad nutrition, no exercise or not living the life they desire. They often realize that they are living life for others or their jobs or their family and not doing what should be priority 1 – taking care of themselves.

If you or those you love can relate to any portion of what you have read, I implore you to begin the process of caring for yourself BETTER and MORE INTENSELY. If a good friend or family member is suffering in this manner, don’t be afraid to lovingly confront them in order to inspire them to improve their life.

I love life too much to let sickness or unhappiness tarnish even one precious day. What that means is my mind, body and soul are priority 1! Most importantly, this makes me a better husband, father, son and friend because I am usually in a strong and happy frame of mind when I am dealing with the daily challenges of life.

Being in balance keeps me fresh, energetic and ready to tackle life’s obstacles. Can I improve in some areas? Of course and I consistently work on ways to enhance aspects of my lifestyle. As long as I have balance, I’m confident that my body will take care of itself and avoid sickness.

The words of a former Coach Wooden player sum up it up well:

“He always talked about balance: body balance, scoring balance, team balance, and most of all, mental and emotional balance. Your feet have to be in balance. Your body has to be in balance over your feet. Your head needs to be in balance with your body and arms. He said if you’re not in balance, you’ll eventually fall over, and he meant it in more ways than one.

I came to see balance as one of the keys to success not only in basketball, but in life. When things get out of balance, it’s generally not good. Everything needs balance. That one word he kept drilling at us – balance – has stuck with me, became important in how I try to do things.”
(Wooden on Leadership, chapter 8, McGraw Hill publishing)

Are you in balance?

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Gswede's first priority is living a balanced life. What about you?

Not Appreciating what HE has

2010-10-24T09:54:00.000-07:00

An unappealing characteristic is “Not appreciating what one has”.

Below is the snapshot of a man who falls into this category and he was okay with me writing about his life as long as I didn’t use his name. He thought that maybe it could be insightful for others who might relate to his experience.

A husband and father and from what I observe, he is good in both roles. He takes his responsibility seriously although he knows he can be a better husband and more patient with his children. He’s well liked and people enjoy being around him yet high stress is a constant in his life – something most people don’t see.

In addition, he isn’t concerned with recharging his batteries and soothing his soul by having weekly “Me Time” – time that is essential for all of us.

His wife is kind and calm. From what he tells me, she could improve in the wife category. According to him, she is a wonderful mother and he admires her loving and patient ways with their children. She’s one of the most likable people I know.

Both are career oriented/ambitious and have been successful in their occupations. Infidelity has never been a problem in their marriage as far as I know. The stress of marriage with their small children presents daily challenges.

What he talks about, sometimes incessantly, is how unhappy he is with his situation – primarily his marriage. It was puzzling the first time I heard it and continues to baffle me. In my opinion, he has a good life (which I have told him) – a life admired by more than a few.

I’ve counselled people on both sides of the fence, those truly unhappy and those who say or feel they are unhappy yet are only masking the true unhappiness - themselves. This man falls into the latter category and my advice to him is usually similar to the advice I give to people in his situation. I let them know in no uncertain terms to “Appreciate what they have”.

One of his issues is thinking that his life should be super exciting all the time. He gets irritated when the small kids are whiny or the wife is tired from a long day and only wants to rest or his job inbox is overloaded or life in general is stressing him out…just to name a few. In addition, his outer family members (generally) are not the caring types which he allows to affect his mind and behavior.

He must have thought that life with kids and a wife would be similar to his previous single life. I’ve told him time and time again that life with small kids, dual careers and a marriage is hectic and challenging for most people I know. Also, nobody has a thrilling life all the time!

The key for him is appreciating the positive blessings and not dwelling on the tough or negative moments. A little positivity could help him immensely. He tends to put the blame on the marriage (or other outside elements) instead of looking inside himself at the real problem – his damaged soul.

Another plus in his life is that he and his wife have “date nights” which I’ve told him to be thankful for. After speaking to numerous people about their lack of time alone with their spouse since their kids were born, what he has is special.

His main issue is thinking that the “grass is greener” in another life he dreams about or admires in others – again looking outside instead of inside. Unfortunately, far too many men (and women) share this same warped sense of reality and often leave situations they later regret.

In my experiences with the relationship breakups/divorces of those close to me, the grass is rarely greener. Sometimes yes, most often no.

Let’s look at his positives:

 He and his wife have successful jobs and careers
 Both are healthy
 They have “date nights”
 Their children are happy, smart and healthy
 While his outer family is nothing to be desired, they are supportive towards him
 His wife is patient, calm and deals with stress much better than he does
 She’s a wonderful mother (his words)
 His wife is one of the more likable people I know
 He is very likable and has numerous close friends – more than most

Is there really any point looking at the negatives?

Everyone has negatives (or challenging moments as I tend to say) in their life or things they don’t like although I find no use in dwelling on them especially when the positives far outweigh the negatives - as they do for him.

If the negatives outweigh the positives, then a change should be a consideration. A good friend married a person no one thought was good for him. We did a positive/negative list with him before the marriage and the negatives were more than double the positives. He got married anyway. Needless to say, the relationship was soon over and everyone is happy that he made the change. The “grass was greener” for him as his is now happily married the second time around.

When a simple list like the aforementioned is done with people contemplating a major life change, they usually see the light. Fortunately, for this man, he has a few close friends who he trusts and opens up to about his life. For the most part, they have given him advice similar to mine. That’s what good friends are for.

To have a more fulfilling life and begin the healing process of his soul, he needs to improve in three main areas:

1) Patience – Being impatient has very few benefits. Most of the people I admire or respect are patient people.

2) Stress - A high level of stress can make life difficult in many areas including a major breakdown. I realize that it’s not easy to lower one’s stress although to not work on improving it can be extremely detrimental to one’s health.

3) “Me Time” – Maybe the most important to master for one’s happiness. I wrote an article about it and told my friend “that there is nothing more important than daily or weekly “Me Time” to do the things that you enjoy”. He read the article and knows that I get mine EACH AND EVERY DAY so I think it has helped him.

The link to “Master your Me Time” is below:

http://gswede-sunday.blogspot.com/2009/05/master-your-me-time.html

He’s doing better now and his complaints have decreased considerably which is a step in the right direction. He still has a long way to go in order to improve in the “Me Time” and stress area although his patience has improved. It would be sad and disappointing to see him leave his family only because he wasn’t happy with himself. It’s very difficult to be happy in most relationships if you don’t take care of number 1 (YOU!) first.

In my opinion, I could almost guarantee that his “grass wouldn’t be greener” in any other situation.

If nothing else, I know he has a better appreciation of the positives in his life.

I wish him well.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

One can appreciate the beauty of autumn, yet fail to appreciate the beauty in their own life. (Picture by Helena)

Mississippi - Two Women, An Outrageous Injustice

2010-10-17T05:33:00.000-07:00

When I first read about these two women, I was beyond surprised as I had never heard of something "so utterly inhumane" as Bob Herbert of the NY Times wrote this past week.

If ever there was a punishment that DIDN'T fit the crime, it's this one. Keep in mind as your read the paragraphs below, that there have been murders in America released from prison in less than ten years.

Here's a snippet from the article about this severe injustice:

It was not the kind of crime to cause a stir. No one was hurt and perhaps $11 was taken.

They were convicted by a jury and handed the most draconian sentences imaginable — short of the death penalty. Each was sentenced to two consecutive life terms in state prison, and they have been imprisoned ever since. Jamie is now 38 and seriously ill. Both of her kidneys have failed. Gladys is 36.

This is Mississippi we’re talking about, a place that in many ways has not advanced much beyond the Middle Ages.

The authorities did not even argue that the Scott sisters had committed the robbery. They were accused of luring two men into a trap, in which the men had their wallets taken by acquaintances of the sisters, one of whom had a shotgun.

It was a serious crime. But the case against the sisters was extremely shaky. In any event, even if they were guilty, the punishment is so wildly out of proportion to the offense that it should not be allowed to stand.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/12/opinion/12herbert.html?emc=eta1

Not only is a sentence like this completely ridiculous, it's an outrageous waste of taxpayer money.

Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour should do the honorable thing and release these two women. If not, this inhumane sentence will continue to shine an unfavorable light on a state that has had more than its share of darkness.

One of these dark moments was the murder of civil rights leader Medgar Evars:

Dropping out of high school at 17 to join the army, Evers served in World War II. Returning home, he finished high school and later graduated from Alcorn A & M College. After working at Magnolia Mutual Insurance, one of the few black-owned businesses in the state, Evers became an NAACP field secretary in Jackson. His civil rights work made him many enemies, and on June 11, 1963, Evers was shot and killed by white supremacist Byron de la Beckwith. His wife, Myrlie Evers-Williams, carried on his work.
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0878426.html

Do the right thing Gov. Barbour........ We are watching.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

State of Mississippi - http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/images/usa/mississippi.jpg

Musician Jonathan Butler - 2 Random Conversations

2010-10-10T06:40:00.000-07:00

My first encounter with the music of South African guitarist and singer Jonathan Butler was at a sold out concert in Boston, MA. Although I knew some of his music, I was blown away by his nimble guitar playing and extraordinary voice. That night, he became a Gswede favorite!

One year later, I was on vacation in London – aimlessly walking around a huge flea market. I‘ve never been that interested in these type of all day selling places so I was passing the time by "people watching" which is never boring.

I spotted a man who probably had my same mindset as he was sitting alone on a step. He looked very familiar. As I got closer, it became very apparent who it was. I’m not surprised very often although this moment was a big one – it was Jonathan Butler.

Never being shy about approaching well known or famous people, I told him how much I enjoyed the aforementioned concert and how his music had touched me. He was gracious and we spent a few minutes talking.

As you probably inferred, I was not happy about going to this flea market. I compromised that day as my girlfriend at the time wanted to go. Since then, I have tried to make a habit of embracing situations/invitations I wasn’t fond of as one never knows what interesting moments may occur.

About ten years later, I became Director of PR and Advertising for a financial organization. Part of my responsibility was promoting the company utilizing sports sponsorships and concerts – one of the most fun aspects of my new job. There were numerous events throughout the year including the New York Knicks and the New York Rangers along with a diverse group of concerts. A Long Island jazz concert would give me my second random meeting with Jonathon Butler.

My company was the major sponsor of most concerts we were involved in and this jazz concert was no exception. I had carte blanche for this event including but not limited to backstage passes and guest invitations. Never being one to exploit my privileges in business, I only invited 3 close friends.

It was a beautiful and warm summer night and I was more excited than usual as I knew I would have some quality time with Jonathan Butler. I didn’t mention to my friends that they were going to have special VIP access, including pre-concert drinks to mingle with the artists.

They were beyond thrilled when we arrived and were escorted to a private area filled with great food, drinks and interesting musicians. After meeting and greeting nearly everyone in the VIP section, I asked Jonathon to sit at our table so we could get some private time with him. My guests learned about his life and rise to stardom despite the conditions he grew up in. It was a wonderful thirty minutes for all of us.

For those who may not know his music or anything about him, below is a snapshot:

Butler grew up in the townships of South Africa, the youngest of 12 children. He started singing and playing guitar at age seven. Even before he reached age ten, he traveled cross-country performing in villages with a 100-member troupe making money to help support his family. The audiences would vary from poverty-ravaged black townships to opulent halls open only to whites. Traveling accommodations were dismal and atrocious. In his travels, the young entertainer could neither comprehend the extreme destitute nor the harsh treatment he endured and bared witness to under the reign of Apartheid. Afrikaans was his native tongue, but he learned English in his travels. (http://www.jonathanbutler.com/bio)

Our time with Jonathan was special as he inspired us with stories of his challenging childhood along with his love of music. In addition, he couldn’t have been more kind to my guests; not dissimilar to our first meeting ten years earlier.

To gain a small taste of his life and talent, take the time to watch this ten minute video interview (he sings!) from the Tavis Smiley program.

http://www.pbs.org/kcet/tavissmiley/archive/201010/20101005_butler.html#video

Every time I hear his powerful and soulful voice, it moves me. If you love music, you may be moved as well.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

Jonathan Butler - (http://www.jonathanbutler.com/)

Gswede Sunday

Whitney’s Voice – And the Most Important Lesson from her Death

Give a Little TODAY, Not Tomorrow

Spice up your Giving in 2012

A Taste of my Weekly SMS/Text

Cancer with a SMILE

Gswede's Holiday Message

Friend to Friend – The Truth Hurts (and Helps)

Salespeople - Make that Last Extra Call

Life is What We Make of It

In the last few years, I was fortunate to come across the words of my friend Bryson. As a writer, he is prolific and I appreciate his talent and dedication.

I particurlary like the passage below from his work called, "Life is What We Make of It":

Let's make sure we enjoy the moments, all moments.....each and every day. Life is INDEED what we make of it. The entire writing is below.

Happy Gswede Sunday!

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Life is What We Make of It It’s often said life is what we make of it We spend much of our early life Dreaming of what we would like our life to be And then we spend the rest of our life trying to make those dreams come true

Dreams of living life to the fullest Dreams of having the perfect life Dreams of having the perfect job Dreams of having the perfect love Dreams of life becoming the perfect dream

But dreams fulfilled or unfulfilled doesn’t mean life cannot be all it can be Because life is what life is and life is what we make of it

And work and play should bring both comfort and joy You should do both with a commitment, passion and seriousness that defines who you are In work and play you should see what makes you the person you are

And most of all you should see a passion for what you do Whatever you do should be a reflection of you Whether you are working or playing A true picture of you should be revealed Find who you are in all that you do And never allow anything to compromise the person you are

Understand that whatever you do, can be one in the same if you focus on finding satisfaction in what you do And through a satisfaction in all that you do You can learn to reach your full potential and live life to the fullest And you will realize that life is what we make of it

My friend Bryson

Reading to Your Child is Fundamental for Success

Synchronized Sunning

To Stretch or Not to Stretch

CYA (Control Your Agenda)

Happy 25 Years to the 1986 UVM Alumni!

"Turn Down the Lights"

Sweden’s Immigrants – Paradise Lost?

The Art of the Chill

Severely Disabled yet on the Treadmill

If Helped, Return the Favor when Asked

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish

http://pogue.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/08/25/steve-jobs-reshaped-industries/

Sense and Sensibility – President Bush (The Elder)

Sweden’s Strong Economy

A Negative Person No Longer in my Life

Only Love Can Conquer Hate

Joe and the Juice

An Article EVERY Parent Should Read

A Lost Art: Instilling Respect

A Photo Capturing the Essence of Summer

Golf's Rory Mcllroy - Refreshing BUT he's no Tiger (or Jack)

Your Father - Embrace What You Have

A Magnificent Quote from the 30th President of the United States

Inspiration from NOT Being Called on Stage

Love in its Purest Form

Married Men Behaving Badly

My Lakers - Disappointed YET excited about 2012

A Poem for my Mother

2 men who CHOSE UNWISELY in Marriage (Update)

Our Country House – Worth the move from Stockholm!

My Favorite “Gswede Sunday” Articles – Year 1

Sleep is the Cousin of Death

The Resolve of an Entrepreneur

Team Success and the 4 C's

"IF" - The Kipling Poem

An Injury didn’t Deter my Basketball Success

A Powerful Story on Honesty

Belgrade, Serbia - City with a Soul

A "Moment of Truth" in Business

The Talented Esperanza Spalding

A Lesson in Humility

Men at Age 50 – How do you Feel?

Sorrento, Italy – Beautiful Place (Hope to see more of it next time!)

The Beauty of a Small Town

A Star Athlete’s "Giving" Inspiration

Take your Life Up (or down) a Notch in 2011!

JD’s Christmas "SMS" Message

Holiday Cards – Are they important to you?

CVC (Cablevision) – A Stock for your Portfolio?

Having a "GPS" Will Save You Time

Sean - A True Friend

A Thing of Beauty or Nothingness?

Being Black on Amtrack

An Article a Friend Might Enjoy? - Send it!

Being Sick Often EQUALS Being out of Balance

Not Appreciating what HE has

Mississippi - Two Women, An Outrageous Injustice

Musician Jonathan Butler - 2 Random Conversations

Life is What We Make of It

It’s often said life is what we make of it
We spend much of our early life
Dreaming of what we would like our life to be
And then we spend the rest of our life trying to make those dreams come true

Dreams of living life to the fullest
Dreams of having the perfect life
Dreams of having the perfect job
Dreams of having the perfect love
Dreams of life becoming the perfect dream

But dreams fulfilled or unfulfilled doesn’t mean life cannot be all it can be
Because life is what life is and life is what we make of it

And work and play should bring both comfort and joy
You should do both with a commitment, passion and seriousness that defines who you are
In work and play you should see what makes you the person you are

And most of all you should see a passion for what you do
Whatever you do should be a reflection of you
Whether you are working or playing
A true picture of you should be revealed
Find who you are in all that you do
And never allow anything to compromise the person you are

Understand that whatever you do, can be one in the same if you focus on finding satisfaction in what you do
And through a satisfaction in all that you do
You can learn to reach your full potential and live life to the fullest
And you will realize that life is what we make of it